


Letters

by SingingInTheRaiin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: End goal is supposed to be hermione/ofc, Gen, and it's not really the main focus of the story so i am not marking it as f/f, but i'm not sure how long it'll actually take to get there, that might change eventually though, the format is literally just letters for a while
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-03-13 12:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 58
Words: 55,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13571022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingInTheRaiin/pseuds/SingingInTheRaiin
Summary: Sophie is an American teenager who was recruited to Hogwarts after an accident that hospitalized her best friend, along with several hundred others. She is unstable, in terms of emotions and magic, yet for some reason, she was placed a year ahead of everyone else her age instead of being a really old first year or something. She also has a major crush on Hermione Granger.





	1. Letter 1 (Saturday)

Dear Jessie,

I’m only writing to you because there’s no one here who I can talk to, I mean really talk to. You already know about me, and I know you won’t judge me. I’m a little nervous, being here for the first time. I’ve never been away from home for longer than a couple of nights. And everyone stares at me with the strangest look. They don’t really understand me, and they obviously don’t care.

I guess if someone a year younger than me was suddenly transferred into my year, I’d be a little confused too. Especially when that someone has never even attended Hogwarts before. I wonder why everyone else got to start when they were eleven, and I’m just starting now, and I’m already fourteen. I can’t go into much detail about my classes here, I guess that’s the only thing you wouldn’t understand. But I can tell about my other problem.

There’s this girl, a year above me, and she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. She’s super smart too, and loyal to her friends, and funny and kind, and beautiful. But she doesn’t even glance my way. I know that I’m the only American in this school, and I’m the only one to have skipped a grade even though there are some much more qualified people. But couldn’t she at least say ‘hi’ to me, just once?

I know you probably want to hear all about her now. Well, her name is Hermione Granger. She’s sixteen. She’s always hanging out with a ginger and a kid with funny glasses whenever I happen to see her, and they all seem close. I’m kind of envious, actually. You’re my closest friend, and you’re still all the way back in the States while I’m stuck at this freak show of a boarding school. 

The headmaster (principal) is absolutely bonkers, as are most of the professors (teachers). And there is a really big sport here called quidditch. It’s kind of like soccer, but different. It’s a really big deal.

I share a room with five other girls, and so far, none of them have said more than a collective ten words to me. I always thought that I stood out back home, and that I would finally be able to fit in here. Instead, I’m even more isolated from my peers than I’ve ever been. No one my age wants to talk to me, and no one in my year wants anything to do with me.

It’s so lonely here, and I wish I could tell you everything, but I can’t because you wouldn’t understand, because I’m different than you. I’m a freak, even among the freaks. This is just so aggravating. And I know I’m not a genius or anything, but Hermione could at least give me the courtesy of responding when I say ‘hello’ to her first. It’s not like I was trying to come onto her or anything, I was just being friendly.

I mean, I know that same-sex relationships aren’t looked at with the same openness that they supposedly are in America, but I never did anything to indicate that I was attracted to her. What do I do, I have no idea what to do. And I’m going to end up tossing this letter in the same pile as the rest of them, because even if I mailed them, you would never read them.

I wasn’t surprised at all that I got into Slytherin House when I first got here. That’s probably why Hermione never spares me a moment of her time. Slytherin is for the ‘bad kids’. And I’m the worst among them, after what I did to you…

I’ll never be able to fix that. I should have somehow known how to control my magic. I shouldn’t have drawn the attention of a European school for witches and wizards all the way from across the ocean. I shouldn’t have let you be hurt by me. Someday, I might have the strength to actually send you some of these letters, but that’s a long way away. I don’t even hope for your forgiveness, you know, just that you’ll be alright.

I guess that’s all for now. 

Yours always,

Sophie


	2. Letter 2 (Sunday)

Dear Jessie,

Today I realized that maybe even the teachers hate me for what I did. I mean, they must know about what happened, otherwise why would they flinch away whenever I raise my hand? I know what I’ve done to deserve this kind of treatment, I just never expected it to hurt so damn much.

Today I wanted to go to one of my professors and ask him if I could borrow a cell phone or something. It took a lot of courage for me to build up my nerve, only to be shot down. Apparently there’s no technology in this whole school. It was a little disappointing to discover. I was going to call and pretend to be your mom so I could hear that you’re doing okay. 

And I’ve decided something else, too. Since you’re never going to actually read these letters, it’s okay for me to tell you all about the magic and stuff. Right now, there aren’t any full out healing spells, just various ones to fix up little things. But people can invent new spells, and I intend to. I’ll make the most powerful healing spell in the world, and I’ll fix everyone that I broke, starting with you.

I don’t know if you’re aware, but two of the muggles (non-magical people) who were on life support have passed. That means I’m officially a murderer. And I can’t even tell anyone or complain or anything, because no one would have sympathy for a murderer like me. I try to tell myself that it’s not my fault, but I know that it is.

Sure, I never knew that I’m a witch, no one felt like sharing that tidbit of information (though I’m pretty sure that muggles like my parents never knew either) but I should have been able to do something. I should have at least kept my emotions in check. There must have been something I could have done…

But I can’t keep saying the same things over and over in my letters, because then they would get boring, and I know that you wouldn’t want to read boring letters. On the topic of Hermione, I think I have nothing to lose. I don’t think that I could possibly be shunned anymore than I already am, and I’m going to confess my feelings to her. She’ll probably push me away in disgust, and then I can just move on with my life.

I feel really bad, though, everytime I think about Hermione. I know that you should be the only one on my mind. You should be the most important to me. I still wear the ring that you gave me, and I promise I won’t ever forget you. But I know, somewhere inside me, that you wouldn’t want me to curl up in a corner and pine over you for the rest of my life. You would want me to find happiness in any way I can.

Right now I’m in my dorm room, and don’t think that I’m a coward, but I’m hiding. I know that no one is looking for me, that no one wants to find me. But it feels safer here, under my bed, with the blankets hanging over the sides to provide adequate shelter. I would have curled up in the trunk at the foot of my bed, but that could cause some joint stiffness. I glanced into the other trunks when my room mates were opening theirs, and I realized that they should actually have stuff in them. Mine’s empty, though, because I never even got a chance to pack before I was whisked off to Scotland.

I have to turn off my lantern now, because the others are coming back and I don’t want them to spot me. They would just think I’m creepy or something. 

Yours always,

Sophie


	3. Letter 3 (Monday)

Dear Jessie,

Today I thought for sure that I was going to get expelled. There’s this stuck up kid in the year above me, his name is Draco. He thinks he’s better than everyone else because his father is rich and hangs out with people of dubious reputations. He went over to the Gryffindor table during lunch, and whispered something in Hermione’s ear.

Then he went out into the hallway, and she followed a few minutes later, probably after making excuses to her friends, the red head and the one with the mop of hair. I followed her, but tried to stay hidden as best I could. We ended up in an empty classroom on the third floor. Draco began to say some cruel things to Hermione, and they were rather upsetting. I know that she can take care of herself, so I chose to wait.

It would be bad to interfere, because then they would know that the creepy new girl was following them around. But the more he talked to her in that crass, mean way, the angrier I got. And before I could reign myself in, I felt a familiar sensation. It was the same as the one that I felt that time with you, and before I could regain control, a wave of energy rolled out of me.

By some miracle it didn’t hit Hermione, but it barreled right into Draco. He toppled over, and I ran as fast as I could before Hermione could turn around and see who had just done that. But this school is huge, and it’s only my third day, and on my way back to the Great Hall, I literally bumped into our crazy headmaster. 

He smiled at me, but I could tell he had no idea who I am. He’s the only one who could have put me into the wrong grade, and he didn’t even recognize me! He totally ruined my life and he doesn’t even have the decency to

No, that’s unfair. I ruined my own life, but not nearly as much as I ruined yours. But anyways, he asked me what I was doing running around, and I told him that I had gotten up to go to the bathroom. He didn’t look like he quite believed me, but he did let me go, which was good. But now my heart’s pounding so hard it can probably be heard on Mars.

What if Hermione did see me? Or Draco? What if they tell Professor Dumbledore (the headmaster) that I was the one who attacked unprovoked? What will I do if I get expelled? It’s not like I have anywhere else that I can go. I wish so badly that you were here right now, because then you could tell me what I’m supposed to do now. Or you would tell me that I have to make my own choices, and stuff like that. I guess you would be right.

And in all that hassle, I never even got a chance to confess to Hermione, and if she did see me, she probably hates me for being a stalker now. And I couldn’t even see her face during that exchange, so for all I know, she wasn’t unhappy with Draco. And what if he’s seriously hurt? What do I do then? 

It seems that all I leave in my wake is a trail of broken people, broken lives. I don’t know how to fix any of this, I don’t even know where to begin. I guess I’ll just have to act like normal, pretend I had nothing to do with the incident today. But that feels dishonest. What if someone else gets blamed for what I did? No matter what you would say, I won’t be able to stop beating myself up over this for a long time.

Get well soon,

Yours always,

Sophie


	4. Letter 10 (Monday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not actually going to write a separate letter for every single day because I think that that would get pretty boring. Instead, it'll jump ahead every now and then.

Dear Jessie,

You’ll never believe what I discovered today. So Hermione was holding some kind of secret meeting or whatever, and I hear about it through a bunch of people, so I showed up. She was throwing a rally for house elves’ rights. I had no idea what a house elf even was. The guy standing next to me must have seen how confused I was, because he explained.

Apparently all the cooking and cleaning and other chores around the school are completed by these tiny people with pointy ears who are practically slaves. I thought that the headmaster seemed like a pretty cool guy, but I guess I was wrong.

If you were here, you would support this cause, I know you would. So I will support it for you. I’ve already done a few things (that maybe I shouldn’t have, but it’s not like I can be like any less than I currently am) that even Hermione noticed (even if she didn’t know they were me). 

First, I went through a million different people until I got the information that I would be able to find the kitchen behind a painting of a bunch of fruit. Yeah, a lot of doorways in this place are hidden behind paintings. Which, by the way, move and talk and interact, it’s quite intimidating at first.

Once I got to the kitchen, I saw all the little elves running around, and they all looked at me with their huge eyes and it was one of the most adorable and sad things I’ve ever seen. I talked to the first one I spotted, and asked how I could help. Some of the others murmured that they should be the ones helping me, but maybe I picked the only one in the place that didn’t want to be a slave. He pointed over to the counter where there were a lot of vegetables that clearly needed to be cut up.

So I got to work, and the elves worked completely around me at first, but after about an hour, they began to work with me. Once I had assisted in every way I could, I excused myself, and exited the kitchen. One of the elves, the first one I had spoken to, held out a little bracelet. It’s gorgeous, and I don’t even know where he got this from. It is a gold chain with exquisitely painted glass beads, and I think this is now the most precious thing I own (especially since everything else I have with me is borrowed). 

Hopefully the elves will feel a little less burdened. I think that I will go down there to help them out as often as I can. I would skip classes and homework and such, but I don’t want to give the already grumpy teachers another excuse to hate me. I’m going to hide the bracelet in the trunk, and it’s now officially the first thing I own.

If I was with you right now, in my room at home, I would pull out my old jewelry box. It has the necklace that you gave me in it, the one that you got from your grandmother. I hope that you get that back somehow. Just so that you don’t have to lose something you care about so much. Well, today was certainly exciting. I’m not sure whether we’re actually allowed to go into the kitchen or not, but I know that my heart was racing as soon as I went.

Yours always,

Sophie.


	5. Letter 13 (Thursday)

Dear Jessie,

Today the strangest thing happened. I was walking down the hallway, a little late for class. This whole campaign of mine to help out the house elves is a lot more taxing than I thought it would be, probably because I’m the only member. But as I hurried to my next class (astrology is an actual class here, if you’ll believe it), this boy who I recognized as one of my classmates was also running late. For some reason people in different years are sometimes in the same classes.

He had on red and gold robes, which is Gryffindor (it’s for all the brave and talented students). He accidentally bumped into me, and then he turned and apologized and smiled. He apologized and smiled! In what universe did you ever expect that to happen!? And he even introduced himself. His name is Neville (I know, European names are weird). I told him my name back, and he smiled again.

So after class was over, I tried to rush out like I always do, even though I know that I would never get reprimanded for being late to class. Neville grabbed my arm, and pulled me over to this cute blonde, who was wearing Ravenclaw robes. He introduced her as Luna, and she smiled at me too! 

Luna was wearing funny glasses, they almost looked like the 3D ones that you can get at the movies. She said that there was something special about me, and Neville agreed. They explained that they’ve seen me go to the kitchens whenever I got a chance for the past couple of days, and that no one has ever seemed so passionate about helping the elves. 

Neville said that he's in the year above me, so even though we have a class together, he never really noticed me before.And I'm not sure if Luna ever really notices anything. Luna said that they were going to hang out in the courtyard, and invited me to join them. And I made up my mind to say no, since they’re older than me, but for some reason I accepted.

We walked to the courtyard together, and I found that it wasn’t as hard to talk to them as I thought that it would be. I don’t even remember what we talked about, our conversations were all over the place. And when it was time for our next classes, they both offered to meet me by the kitchens tomorrow, and help out.

I think that they’re the first people to even talk to me in this place, and maybe they’ll be my first friends here, too. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you, but I can’t stay isolated all by myself for the next three years. I would go crazy. And since Neville’s in Gryffindor, in his sixth year, maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll mention me to Hermione. Then she would know how seriously I’m taking this house elf equality issue.

After we parted ways the rest of the day was uneventful, but I’m just so excited. There’s one part of me that’s a little afraid that I’m just being set up to be the butt of some stupid joke, but I don’t think Luna and Neville would be able to do something like that. I can’t wait for tomorrow.

Wish me luck,

Yours always,

Sophie


	6. Letter 14 (Friday)

Dear Jessie,

I was so excited to get to the kitchens this afternoon, and Nuna and Leville were actually there! Sorry, I mean Luna and Neville. I think that some part of me was very super afraid that they were just teasing me yesterday, and that they wouldn’t show up, but they did! Can you believe it!

If you were here right now, I think that you would say you believed it the whole time. You’ve always been able to find an impossible amount of faith in me. I wonder how much faith you could possibly have in me now?

Well anyways, the three of us stayed and helped out in the kitchen, and while I’m usually in there for a couple of hours, we were in and out in under one hour. And it was fun, too. They mostly did all the talking, while I listened and laughed along. There are some pretty interesting stories about this school.

Apparently a few years ago, Hermione was petrified (basically turned to stone/paralyzed completely) by something called a basilisk. Neville said that it’s some giant snake thing. This other kid, Harry something, is the one who defeated the snake, but Neville said that according to Harry’s story afterwards, it was Hermione who gave him the information he needed. She’s so smart, I can hardly believe it.

After we finished helping in the kitchen in every way we could, the three of us left. They said ‘same time same place tomorrow’ and then went off to wherever they spend their free time. I feel so happy. Despite you being a muggle (non-magical person) I think that you would fit in really well here. 

Everyone’s so nice here, maybe not to me, but I don’t really deserve their kindness anyways. Today I really wanted to talk to someone, anyone, and actually have them listening and responding, but I know that that is impossible. My teachers are always hurrying away when I try to approach them, and it’s only the second week of school. Oh well.

At least today is a Friday, so I will have all weekend to myself. I have a little bit of homework, but I’ve been permanently excused from most of it, on account of me missing the past five years. Some of the teachers are so wound up, even you would be able to set them off. 

So what I wanted to talk about (besides my new fr- Neville and Luna) is this: a girl who is in several of my classes. Of course that makes her a year older than me, since she’s in my year. I don’t know her name, I don’t really pay much attention when the professors take attendance. She has long red hair, and a lot of freckles.

And for the past couple of days, I’ve noticed her staring at me. I first I thought I was mistaken, because no one will even glance at me, let alone stare. She’s in Gryffindor, I can tell by her robes, and she’s usually with a bunch of other people. But I can feel her staring. It’s not particularly unfriendly or anything, just maybe a little unnerving.

Today I told myself that I would just stare back, and once she sees my ‘creepy’ eyes she would look away and not stare again. But I couldn’t work up the courage to do that, so she just continued to stare. Maybe she knows about what happened back in the states. Maybe she doesn’t like me for some other reason, I don’t really know.

Tomorrow I’ll ask Neville (since he’s in Gryffindor) and maybe I’ll get her name. Then I can ask him what her deal is, and he can (possibly) tell me, and then I can (hopefully) talk to her. But I guess for now, I’ll just get to sleep. I hope that I will eventually have some more things to put in the trunk at the end of the bed, but for now it’s just these letters. 

Yours always,

Sophie


	7. Letter 16 (Sunday)

Dear Jessie,

Today Neville introduced me to Hermione after we were done in the kitchen. He told her that I was putting so much effort into helping the house elves. She smiled at me, and I thought she was going to die. I wanted so badly to say something, anything, that would make her smile again. But before I could get my voice box to work again, she asked, ‘Who are you?’.

I don’t understand. When Neville introduced us, he said, ‘Hermione, this is Sophie. Sophie, Hermione.’ so she knew my name. Why did she ask who I am? It’s really gotten me thinking. You’d be disappointed to know that I’m hiding under my bed right now. I just ran away as soon as Hermione asked that.

Even if any of them cared to come after me (which I highly doubt) they would have to know where to find the Slytherin dorms (they’re hidden) and know the password to get in (which is a secret). But now, I’m wondering. Who am I?

It hasn’t been long, only a couple of weeks, but I don’t think that I’m the same person that I used to be, back home with you. I’m still coming to terms with what exactly happened, but I’m sure you would understand that. How could I have done something like that? To hurt my best (and only) friend so badly…

And I wonder how it was all covered up. I haven’t seen anything on the news about an explosion of any sort, and I’m sure that all the witnesses would be able to testify that it was sorcery. How did the wizards clean up that mess? And why did they let me come here? I’m the only one here who isn’t from Great Britain, but I can’t be the only American witch, can I? And is there an American school for witchcraft and wizardry? If not where do American witches go? And if there is, how come I didn’t get sent there?

Thinking about America in general has me thinking about my parents. I really miss them. I wonder how much they know. Have they known that I’m a witch my whole life? Or are they still unaware, even now?

How did Hogwarts explain my sudden disappearance to them? But I guess the question about them that has me the most nervous is: Do they even miss me at all? I wish that you were here right now, because I know that you would reassure me, of course they must miss me. But there’s this nagging feeling I have. 

I mean, we weren’t the closest even before… you know… but they at least still loved me, I think. It would have been nice for them to actually say that out loud, though, even just once. Surely they’ve at least noticed that I’m gone though, right? But now I’m worried all over again. What if the professors erased all memories of me from you and them? I’m pretty sure they can do that, I remember reading it somewhere.

I want to believe that that would be so terrible, but that’s just me being selfish. I’m pretty sure that forgetting all about me would be the best thing for all of you. I really hope that I haven’t completely screwed up my chances to maybe be friends with Luna and Neville. And I’m not even going to let myself think anything about Hermione at all.

Yours always,

Sophie


	8. Letter 17 (Monday)

Dear Jessie,

After what happened yesterday (with me running away from Luna and Neville and Hermione like they were on fire) I’m scared that they’ll all hate me. So right now it’s the time when I always go down to the kitchens, but I’m sitting here under my bed instead. You know, when we were little and we would read stories where the little kids would hide under their beds, I never really understood. Now I do. There’s just something that feels so safe, though a little uncomfortable, to be here.

But if they didn’t hate me yesterday, then they definitely will today. They only started helping out in the kitchen to be nice to me, and now I’ve abandoned them to work by themselves. I know it’s not fair to them, and it’s not fair to the hard working house elves either. I guess since I’m skipping that commitment anyways, I should at least get some work done, but I don’t feel like it.

Earlier, when I was in class, defense against the dark arts, we had a random pop quiz. Professor Snape is really harsh, and he made the test extremely difficult. I’ve never even heard of the majority of things that were on the test, so I know I’m going to fail. But that’s not really fair at all. How can he fail me when I never even learned the material.

Once class was over, I got up to leave, but the professor told me to wait a minute, that he wanted to talk to me in his office. You don’t understand how scary he is, though. So I waited just long enough for there to be a thick crowd in the doorway, that moment when the next class starts coming in while my class is still leaving, and I slipped out.

I don’t want to talk to that guy, he looks like a psycho killer. But now I’m scared. What if he gets really mad and decides to murder me for disrespecting him or something? He seems like the type who would do that. Unfortunately, he’s the headmaster of Slytherin, so he won’t have any trouble finding me if he wants to.

And I’m also a little afraid that maybe he doesn’t want to kill me. Maybe as the headmaster of my house, it’s his job to tell me that I’m being kicked out. It’s not like I have any great attachment to Hogwarts or anything, but I know that after what happened, I definitely won’t fit in anywhere else.

So I’m here, hiding from Snape, hiding from Neville and Luna, hiding from Hermione. I think I’m mostly just hiding from my responsibilities. I guess there’s some part of me that knows if I’m ever going to fit in anywhere, it’ll be here. I just don’t know how to do that. How do I get people to like me?

I’m pretty sure that none of them know about what actually happened back in the states, but they all avoid me because of how I was placed. I think that no one has ever attended Hogwarts unless they started when they were eleven. I hate being that one awkward exception, and I have no idea why I am.

I see the way the teachers look at me, a mix of fear and something else I’ve yet to identify. Whenever it’s the students turn to practice a new spell or incantation, the professors always manage to find some excuse that means I don’t get to try. Everyone else around here has a wand. I don’t have anything other than the clothes on my back and these letters. I just borrow textbooks for each class, but I always have to return them at the end.

Well, this is a very pathetic letter, sorry. But it’s just so hard to keep hoping that something good will happen, because my hopes are always dashed in the end. I guess I’ll stop writing now, if Snape comes looking, I don’t want him to hear the scratch of a quill against parchment (it’s a lot louder than you would think).

Yours always,

Sophie


	9. Letter 18 (Tuesday)

Dear Jessie,

Today I went to the kitchens at the same time I always do (well, maybe I was a couple of minutes late), and I couldn’t help my grin when I saw Neville and Luna already in the kitchen, working. Luna glanced up and smiled. I felt like she was staring right through me, and I really wanted to run away again, but I stayed. When she was done looking at me, her smile grew. 

I didn’t say anything, and for once, I didn’t feel like there was really anything to say. I could have apologized, or explained why I ran, but somehow I knew that Luna and Neville didn’t care. So I rolled up my sleeves, washed my hands, and took my usual place in between the two older students.

Later, when we were finished, I started to head back to the common room. On my way, I was stopped by Professor Snape. We were alone in the hallway, and I was sure that he was either going to murder me or kick me out, and either way it wasn’t looking good. But instead of something evil, he handed me a rolled up slip of parchment with an annoyed look.

‘Why didn’t you stay after class yesterday? I needed to give you this.’ I unrolled it slowly, feeling dread building in the pit of my stomach. It looked kind of blurry at first, but I shook my head and read the paper. It seemed to be a permission slip. There was a thick inky signature at the bottom where it called for a parent/guardian to sign. It said A.P.W.B. Dumbledore. I never knew his name was so long.

Snape rolled his eyes. ‘Third years and above are permitted to visit a small town called Hogsmeade Village on the weekends. It’s a completely magical place, so no muggles. There are shops and restaurants and lots of other things for you to do there. Normally a guardian would be required to sign this in order for you to go, it’s very strict. Not even the great Harry Potter was made an exception. Yet here you are. If you wish to go this weekend, I’ll need to know by tomorrow.’ 

And before I could think about it too much, I told him that I want to go. He nodded and walked away. I don’t want to go somewhere unfamiliar with no one that I know, so tomorrow I’ll ask Luna and Neville if they want to come to. Though as sixth years they’ve probably been a million times. And I have no money. At least not money that works around here. They use gold and silver coins, isn’t that so old fashioned?

I’m really nervous, though. It’s an all magical place. I’ve never seen anything like that outside of Hogwarts. Maybe they’ll have somewhere for me to get a wand. I really do need to get one soon. I’ve done some research in my spare time (which was almost all the time until I started working with the house elves) but I’ve yet to determine whether or not magic can be done without the use of a wand. A few cases were mentioned, but they were kind of vague.

And I wonder why Dumbledore would make an exception to a strict rule for me. So far no one in this whole place has done anything for me (not that I expect them to bend over backwards for me) and the professors all seem so frightened of me sometimes, but the headmaster has decided to set me loose in a town full of strangers? Why would he do that? I mean, I know he’s kind of loopy, but I didn’t expect quite this level of madness. And Snape mentioned something about Harry Potter. The name sounded sort of familiar, in the same way that any name in a musty old book sounds familiar.

I can’t wait until tomorrow. What if Neville and Luna don’t want to come? I already told Snape I’d go, so I would have to go alone. Well on the bright side, at least no one could mug me and take anything. I mean, I literally own nothing. I wish that someone would go to Bakersfield and pick up some of my stuff. Hey, maybe you could send me a few things from my room. If any of it’s still intact, I mean. I wonder how much shipping costs from California to Scotland.

Yours always,

Sophie


	10. Letter 19 (Wednesday)

Dear Jessie,

Today while we were working in the kitchen, I sort of randomly brought up the subject of Hogsmeade. I said that I had gotten permission to go. When they didn’t reply, a part of me wanted to run away again. But another part of me wanted to press harder. Maybe they’re just really dense and don’t understand that I wanted to ask them to go with me?

So I blurted it out, ‘Will you come to Hogsmeade with me I don’t want to go alone’.

Luna laughed. ‘Of course we’ll go. I almost forgot how exciting it was to visit for our first time. It’ll be fun’. And I couldn’t stop the sigh of relief that escaped me. Luna just laughed again. She glanced at Neville, and he nodded his agreement. I wonder if she would still want to go even if he didn’t. They seem really close, and it’s possible that they’re dating or something. But it’s really none of my business, it’s not my place to ask. Well, now I only have to wait three more days to get out of here.

After we were done with the dishes, Neville pulled me aside, and nodded for Luna to go on without him. She left, and I swear he could hear my heart, it was beating so loudly. Maybe he had changed his mind and didn’t want to go out on Saturday after all?

Instead, he took a deep breath. ‘I want to talk to you about the other day’. I blushed. I was pretty sure he was referring to me randomly running away when Hermione didn’t even say anything that sounded particularly offensive. ‘Hermione feels really sorry for upsetting you. She was wondering if you want to hang out, not today, but sometime. What should I tell her?’

I gulped. Hermione actually wanted to talk to me. I wonder what she would apologize for, since she never did anything wrong. And maybe she’ll treat me like a baby since I’m two years younger, but hopefully that won’t happen. Luna and Neville are the same age as her, and they both treat me like equals. I thought that my voice wasn’t going to work for a moment. I had to clear my throat before I could say anything.

‘Yeah, sure. Whenever is fine. And um… you can mention that she didn’t do anything wrong’. 

Neville nodded. ‘Of course. See you tomorrow’. And he walked away, in the same direction that Luna had been heading. Maybe they had plans for a date or something? I don’t know. But it would be cool to see Hermione again. I wish you were here. You would tell me funny things that I could say to make her smile and laugh. I’m not really a funny person on my own (or at all).

Something else that happened today, not as important as that first stuff, but still worth mentioning. Remember that girl that I said was staring at me last week? Well I forget to ask Neville about her, and she stopped staring, so it kind of slipped my mind. But today during potions class (the professor is a really crazy guy called Slughorn) I felt her staring again.

I turned to look at her (she sits in the back row like I do, but several tables away from me) and she didn’t even blink. Just kept staring. I’m pretty sure that she was staring at my robes. They’re just some ratty old hand-me-downs that were dug up out of some storage or another, and they’re a little too big on me. Maybe she’s staring at me because she thinks I’m poor (which I am right now). 

After class, I went to talk to her. I’m not sure what I was planning to say. Maybe ask her to stop staring, or maybe ask her why she was staring at all. But she managed to slip out before I could say anything, and I don’t know her name so I couldn’t call out for her. Well, at least I don’t think she’s being mean or anything. I’ll try to remember to ask Neville tomorrow, I swear (though I do feel bad for asking from so much from him).

Yours always,

Sophie


	11. Letter 21 (Friday)

Dear Jessie, 

It’s already Friday. Can you believe that I’ve been here for three weeks already? One more week, and it’ll have been a month since… you know… So today, Hermione and I finally got a chance to talk. It was a little awkward at first. I could tell that she felt bad, and that she was under the impression that she had really upset me.

I told her that it wasn’t her fault. I told her that I was honestly a little intimidated to meet her for the first time. She smiled a little at that. Once that basic awkwardness was out of the way, we kept talking. She didn’t talk to me like I’m a baby or anything, she actually treated me like an equal, or as close to it as I could hope from someone who’s older than me. Though I think if she knew more about the circumstances that led to my acceptance here, she wouldn’t be quite as friendly.

But I couldn’t tell her that. I haven’t talked to anyone about what happened, and these letters don’t count since no one is ever going to read them. After a while, we were just talking, laughing, I don’t even remember what was said. I almost forgot that I was talking to my crush, it was so easy, I didn’t stumble over any words or completely humiliate myself. 

She had to go, to another class or something, but before she left, I asked if she would accompany me to Hogsmeade tomorrow. And do you want to know what she said? ‘It’s a date’, she said. I know that she didn’t mean like an actual date, but it still made butterflies go through my stomach. After that, I couldn’t help feeling glad that she was leaving for a while so I wouldn’t have a chance to mess up our plans.

Of course, I still don’t have any money, which is sad. I could really use some new robes (mine get washed every night, but it’s still the same pair everyday). But even more importantly, I need a wand. I wonder why nobody has yet mentioned my wand situation, or lack thereof. Everybody else has a wand, and they all do some pretty neat tricks.

My first thoughts are that the headmaster is afraid of me enough as it is, and he would be even more frightened if I could channel my magic. But he’s a pretty powerful guy based on what I’ve read about him, and I don’t think one teenage girl could scare him all that much. Maybe wands are just really expensive, and they know I have no money, so they couldn’t even scrounge up a used up old thing for me.

And I know you would be annoyed with me, but I forgot to ask Neville the red head’s name again. I was about to bring it up when it seemed like I had the opportunity, but then the topic of the conversation shifted, and I didn’t get a chance. So technically I didn’t forget, but it’s the same results either way. But I guess it doesn’t really matter.

Now that I’ve brought my (possibly) friend count up to three, I don’t think I’ll let her staring bother me anymore. Now if she said or did something mean, then maybe I would put in more effort to find out who she is, but for now, I think I’ll just leave her be. 

About my shortage of funds, I think I might make an appointment to see the headmaster. After all, he already signed my permission slip to go to the village, which apparently he’s never done before, so maybe he’ll throw in a few coins as well. The gold ones are called galleons, the silver ones are called sickles, and the bronze ones are called knuts. Crazy, right? I have no idea how much any of those would be in US dollars.

Well, if Dumbledore agrees to give me even a few coins, that would be better than nothing. I could also ask him if he has a spare wand lying around while he’s at it, but that’s not likely. Now that I think about it, it’s unlikely he will give me anything. But it’s worth a shot, right? I mean, it’s not like I begged to be let in here, I was practically forced. The least he could do is provide just a tiny bit of funds, right?

Yours always,

Sophie


	12. Letter 22 (Saturday)

Dear Jessie,

Today I went to Hogsmeade Village for the first time, and it was indescribable. At first I felt bad for being gone during the time that I had committed to the house elves, but Luna got someone else to help out. It’s nice to know that so many people care. The four of us, Hermione, Luna, Neville, and I, wandered around, with the upperclassmen pointing out everything of note. 

There’s this giant candy store, and half the things in it looked more like weapons than sweets. My mouth was watering just looking at everything, so I knew we had to get out. We went into this little inn called The Three Broomsticks. Hermione said that she would treat us. I know she paid for Luna and Neville too, but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t make my stomach do flip flops.

She ordered me this drink called butterbeer. When they brought the mugs over to our table, I was shocked. I thought for sure that it must be some weirdly flavored beer. I was hesitant to drink any, since I’ve never had alcohol before in my life. Hermione laughed. ‘It’s kind of like warm liquid butterscotch. Don’t worry, you’ll love it’. I didn’t want to disappoint her, so I took a big gulp. That was a mistake. 

Maybe European people have stronger constitutions than us Americans, but I thought for sure I was going to puke. The flavor was so strong, it literally made my eyes tear up, and my throat burned. Hermione frowned at that. I guess she’s never seen someone react so negatively to the popular drink.

But thankfully, she didn’t say anything, and neither did the other two. They might not understand why I’m here, but they definitely can tell that I am so out of my element. Hermione said that she’s a muggle-born, like me, meaning her parents aren’t wizards. She said that her reactions were similar to mine when she was first introduced to Hogwarts, but she at least had others her age who entered at the same time.

After we left the establishment, Hermione said that it was time to be getting back to the school. She said that she wanted to introduce me to some of her friends when we got back. I followed her through the school, up to where she said the Gryffindor common rooms were located. She told me to wait at the end of the hallway.

When she returned about ten minutes later, she had the red head and dark haired boys with her. She stood in front of them proudly. ‘This is Ronald Weasley, and this is Harry Potter’. The name Potter sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t recall from quite where. She must have noticed my blank expression, because her smile got smaller.

I didn’t want that, so I grinned and nodded. She just shook her head, and I thought that she was going to tell me that I messed up too badly, and she wasn’t going to let me be her friend anymore. That would be a tragedy. Then I realized that she was silently laughing. ‘You don’t know who either of them are?’

I politely shook my head. It would be pointless to lie. ‘No, sorry’. The one with the funny glasses smiled, though the ginger had his nose scrunched up a little distastefully. 

Hermione chuckled. ‘Wow, I guess… I don’t know what I was expecting. You did say that you just transferred here, and you are from all the way across the ocean, but I guess I forgot about that for a moment. I can’t believe that you don’t recognize the most famous wizard in the magical world’.

Yes, apparently Hermione is best friends with the most famous wizard in the magical world. And he’s cute too. There’s no way I could beat him.

Woefully yours always,

Sophie


	13. Letter 24 (Monday)

Dear Jessie,

Ugh, today was Monday. More torturous classes. Would you call me a coward if I say that I faked being sick? It was just for one class (astrology, the only class I have with Neville and Luna) because I’m not sure that I can face them properly. I mean, our outing to Hogsmeade turned out better than I expected, but I’m still worried. Those two who are always following Hermione around made me feel unreasonably jealous, and you already know that I sort of blew up in Neville’s face about it yesterday. But hey, if it makes you feel any better, skipping class wasn’t the worst thing I did today.

I went to potions, though, and I felt the red head staring at me, like usual. I’m actually kind of used to it by now. But then one of her friends pointed to me, whispered something, and snickered. I didn’t have a chance to see if the red head laughed as well, and I didn’t care. Something inside me snapped. 

I got up and stomped over to that side of the room, aware that everyone’s eyes were on me. I put my hands on my hips, and gave her my most intimidating creepy stare. But she just stared back, and I took that as a silent challenge. ‘What do you want? Why are you always staring at me?’

She glanced at her friends, and they nodded to show their support. She turned back to me. ‘Don’t go thinking that I’m going to be afraid of you, not after the things I’ve been through. Not that it would even be possible to be scared of you. You are like a hissing kitten that is trying to scare away predators, but who doesn’t have the ability to actually fight them off’.

I growled. ‘What are you saying? That I’m weak? Because I can assure you that’s not the case’.

I was vaguely aware of students shouting as all their things were whipped off their desks by some invisible force. She just continued to look at me, unfazed. The teacher, Slughorn, tried to make his way over to us. But it was impossible to pass through the tornado of random classroom debris that was swirling around. He must have sent one of the students to retrieve the two scarier professors, McGonagall, and Snape.

I don’t remember what exactly was said, but suddenly I couldn’t move, beyond blinking and breathing. Snape caught me before I could hit the ground, and everyone tried to take cover under their desks as the debris rained down. Snape carried me to the infirmary, and the spell he used wore off about half an hour ago. I found paper and a quill, and knew I needed to get it out. 

I really hope that no one was hurt earlier. Honestly, I don’t even remember why I got so mad. And I’ve seen other students get mad, but none of them have had magic burst out of them the way it seems to from me. And I never even got her name. The red head who was watching me.

I can hear the teachers out in the corridor, and they’re talking just too quietly for me to hear them clearly. But I’m pretty sure the head master is out there too, along with the nurse. I don’t want them to know I’m able to move again yet. I don’t want them to take away this letter. After all, these letters are all I have left.

I think I’ll be expelled for sure, this time. No one can get away with that kind of outburst. And even if they let me stay (which I doubt) it wouldn’t matter. After they hear about what happened, Hermione and Luna and Neville won’t want to be friends with me anymore (if that’s what we even are). They’ll be scared of me, just like the teachers.

I wish so badly that I’ll wake up tomorrow and find out that the last three weeks have just been some awful nightmare.

Yours always,

Sophie


	14. Letter 25 (Tuesday)

Dear Jessie,

I’m bored and scared and anxious and curious and I don’t think those ever make a good mix. I’m still in the infirmary, and no one will talk to me. The nurse has brought some food a couple times today, but she hasn’t said anything. And none of the teachers have come in here to say anything either. And either no students have been injured at all today, or they are being taken somewhere else to be treated.

I want to apologize to that girl with the red hair, but I don’t think I’ll get a chance to talk to anyone for a while. They probably wouldn’t even let me write this letter if they caught me, even though I never actually send them. I wish they would just come to a decision already, though.

I mean, can’t they just put me out of my misery? Am I expelled? Am I getting detentions until the end of time? I want to know my punishment. But you know, I think this is partly the headmaster’s fault too, maybe more than it is mine. If he would have just given me a wand… None of the other students have random outbursts like I did yesterday, and the biggest difference I can see between us is they have wands and I do not.

Well, also they’re British and I’m not, but I don’t really think that being American means I’m going to have a more difficult time controlling my magic. And how do I even have magic? I mean, there are muggle born witches and wizards, like Hermione, but how does that even happen? My life would be so much simpler if I was just born normal, like you.

I wonder how my parents are doing. It feels like forever since I’ve spoken to them (there are no phones in this school, can you believe it? In fact, there’s no technology of any sort as far as I can tell). I was considering sending them a letter for real, maybe excluding some of the more magical details, but I don’t have an owl, and no post men come here as far as I can tell. 

And another thing. If these wizards here in Scotland were keeping an eye on America, why didn’t they invite me to come here sooner? If I was eleven when I started, then at least I would have some friends my own age. 

I’m sure that Luna and Neville and Hermione have heard about what happened by now, or at least some version of it. It probably wouldn’t be too difficult for them to figure out, since the red haired girl is in Gryffindor, same as Neville and Hermione. Maybe they don’t want me leaving for my own protection as well as everyone else’s.

Now that they are aware of how out of control I am, they’ll all be scared. And of course, we all know what people do when they’re scared. They could want to hurt me. I’m not really sure. It wouldn’t be anything more than I deserve, but it’s a scary thought all the same.

Or maybe the teachers are just too frightened to come in here and confront me. Maybe they’re worried they’ll set me off again, and someone will be injured for real this time. I wish you were here, Jessie, you would know how to make things alright. You were always the one who helped me fix my mistakes, but now we’re so far apart because of my biggest mistake yet.

If I do end up getting expelled, what will happen to me? After going through so much trouble to get me away from innocent muggles, would they just send me back to the place where this all began? Or would they decide that I’m too dangerous and execute me? I don’t know if that’s something that wizards do, but they might. Or maybe they have some kind of magical prison for dangerous people like me. Wow, I never really thought of myself as dangerous before, but now I know I am.

Yours always (hopefully that’s a very long time)

Sophie


	15. Letter 26 (Wednesday)

My Most Dearest Jessie,

I have abslutey no idea what was in that that potion that they agve me, but it was delicious. I can fell every cell in my body humming around and I love it And now I fel so relaxed but my hand are kind of numg abd my brain isn;t working too good right now. It’s already been two days since the incident but i’m still in the infrimary and I don’t know why. Can you tell me?

Probably nope. Nobody has come to visit me yet (or if they have they wren’t allowed in) so i feel kinda lonely right onw. Dumbledore (the headmaster) said that he wanted to talk to me while I wasn in a good mod so I wont get mad and explode.

I think i giggled when he said that. How could a person explose? If anyone’s going boom! it’s going to be professor snape, he is so strict, like he ‘s got a stick up his butt or something. I think that ‘s the saying rith?

And i think that right now this is what It feells like to be drunk and if thats the case than then I regret not tring some of the beer at Booby (i mean bobby) Edwarduos party las tyet. I don’t think they cel beer her, but ther is butterber but that stuf is so gross and I thought I was going to puke whenn I first tried it but maube that potion wans’t as bad as akchol.

I don’t reaaly feel drunk, and other than the numbnees that I mentioned erlier, everything is functioning perfectly fine. That measn everyone else must be spinning around on purpose just to make me dissy. I wonder why they would od that.

I hope you get here soon to take me home, this place is so craxy and everyone want s to talk to me cux inm the most popular kid in this establishment. That makes sense, thought because I’ve been here the longerst.

I want a pet like hermione hads a pet and she’s awresone she wouldnt lie to me and say that hse has a oet when she really oesdn’t have a pet. boy the room is spinning faster and faster and my head ispundin so hard I feel ilike im in the middle of dying, which I wouldn’t really blame myself for. i think I ‘m goin to pass out so don’t look for me until later okay

 

Jessie, I’m really sorry about what I wrote about earlier. I reread it a few minutes ago, now that I’m finally acting like myself again (I think that potion wore off) and I don’t want you to think that I was really drunk or high or something. I don’t really recall what happened during that time though, so I could have told everyone top secret information for all I know (not that I know any top secret information).

Well, I’ll probably look back on that letter and laugh later, and that’s the only reason that I’m not going to toss it into the fireplace as soon as I’m done writing this. Please feel better soon, even if it’s only because you were laughing at the first part of this letter.

Yours always,

Sophie


	16. Letter 27 (Thursday)

Dear Jessie,

So this morning, the headmaster came to see me. It’s been days since I’ve seen anyone (not counting when I was drugged up on that weird potion yesterday), and I hate to say I was kind of excited to see anyone, even if he is the damned head of the school. He sat down in the chair next to my bed. He opened his mouth to say something, but I interrupted him before he could even get a word out, idiot that I am. ‘Are you going to expel me?’ I asked him.

He looked surprised for a moment, then he shook his head. ‘No, I don’t think that that would be a good idea. You need to learn how to control your magic, especially your accidental magic, so that there is not another incident’.

I gulped. ‘Oh. Well, I think I would have an easier time controlling my magic if I had a wand. Everyone else has one, so shouldn’t I have one?’

He shook his head again. ‘No, I don’t think that that would be a good idea either. A wand is a conduit of your magic, and you can’t even control your magic without an additional way for it to come out’.

I grumbled under my breath, knowing that he would probably still be able to hear me. ‘What did you expect when you took in someone years after everyone else was invited. And why isn’t there some American school of magic that I can attend, or something?’

Dumbledore frowned. I think he was getting tired of answering my questions when he had clearly come in here with some other purpose, to talk to me about something else. ‘There are no schools around the world that are better for young witches such as yourself than this one. I believe that you will be most successful if you stay. The school that you would have been invited to is located in America, in New York, and they don’t invite students until they graduate from muggle school, at age eighteen, so that it why you were still unaware of being a witch. Any other questions?’

I nodded. I didn’t want him to talk about what he had come in with the intention of talking about, because I was afraid that it would be something bad, like detentions for the rest of my life, or having to scrub the toilets without getting to use my magic, or something like that. ‘I’m not sick, so why am I in the infirmary? And where are the kids who actually need medical attention being taken?’

Dumbledore frowned. ‘This is the most secure room in the building that can be given up for a little while. The other students are being brought to an empty classroom down the hall, where Madam Pomfrey is attending to them properly, don’t worry. And the reason you are in here is so that you don’t accidentally injure the other students’.

‘Do you think that I’m dangerous?’

He frowned. ‘It is not that you mean to harm anyone, I can see that, but it is your particular style of magic. It seems very familiar to me, but I haven’t been able to figure out why, not yet. I think that once you learn to control your emotions better, your magic will be less likely to burst out of you like it did the other day, and like it did several weeks ago’.

I gasped. It’s still painful for me when people mention what happened, what I did to you. I keep thinking to myself that it was so long ago, and no one will hate me for slowly forgetting, but then I remember that it really was only a month ago, and I have no right to forget about what happened. Not as long as I live, I promise I’ll always remember. 

Dumbledore got this sad look, and he got up and left. I think he felt guilty for making me feel bad (I’m not too good at hiding my feelings, as you know). 

Yours always,

Sophie


	17. Letter 28 (Friday)

Dear Jessie,

I finally had some visitors today. I don’t know if they weren’t allowed in before, or maybe they just didn’t want to come. But Neville and Luna showed up. Neville had a strange look on his face, but Luna was all smiles. I wasn’t sure what to think. ‘You’ve probably heard about what happened by now,’

Luna nodded. ‘Yup, Ginny told me’. She saw my blank look, so she explained. ‘The red haired girl in our year. The one in your potions class...’

I could feel the confusion. ‘I thought that you’re in Neville and Hermione’s year’.

She shook her head. ‘Nope. I have been excused from potions class this year, after I had a strange allergic reaction to one of the potions we were working on. And other than that, the only class we have together is astrology, which has some sixth years in it, so I can understand your confusion. So I was wondering what actually happened?’

‘What?’

She shrugged. ‘I mean, we’ve heard from Ginny, and some of the others in the class, but the teachers haven’t said anything, and if anyone mentions it, they mysteriously end up with twice as much work as they had before. I think it’s some kind of conspiracy’.

I had to laugh at that. I knew that Luna was a little out of it, but I didn’t know that she was one of those conspiracist nuts. She would love all those trashy magazines back home, the ones filled with stories of alien abductions and Elvis sightings. Though I’m not sure if they know who Elvis is around here. But I don’t really want to ask.

I shook my head. There is no conspiracy, so I had to tell her that. ‘There’s no conspiracy going on. I’m sure the teachers are just annoyed that you’re paying more attention to me than to their classes. By the way… was anyone hurt?’

Luna shook her head, and I couldn’t stop the sigh of relief that escaped me. I should have asked Dumbledore yesterday, but I had other things on my mind, and didn’t really think of it. ‘Oh, that’s good. I wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt because of me’.

Neville didn’t come any closer to me, but his face softened a little. I’m still not sure, but I think that he’s now a little scared of me. Which is a good thing. If people are scared, they’ll stay away. And if they stay away, then they can’t get hurt. I don’t know how no one was injured in that last incident.

He sighed. ‘Everything has been so different around here since you showed up. No one’s ever seen anyone like you before. You use accidental magic even now that you’re here, you have no wand, you’re American. You took the initiative to go help out the house elves without anyone asking. I just don’t understand you. Are you sure you can’t tell us anymore than we already know?’

I just shook my head. I don’t even understand why magic explodes out of me in a way that no one else has experienced. I don’t know why I have to be the odd man out. ‘Sorry, but I really don’t know anything. I don’t even know why I’m here’.

And, this was really awkward, Luna bent down and hugged me. I wanted to shove her away, but my arms were sort of pinned to my sides. Then she stood up abruptly. ‘There’s something I need to see about’.

She hurried away, Neville following in her footsteps. I still can’t tell if they’re dating or not, and I really don’t want to ask. I watched them walk away. Do you think they still want to be my friends? And I wonder what was so urgent that Luna had to leave right away. Hopefully I’ll get out of here soon, and then I can find out for myself.

Yours always,

Sophie


	18. Letter 29 (Saturday)

Dear Jessie,

Dumbledore came to visit me again today. He asked if I felt ready to get out yet. I didn’t want to sound too eager though. He might not think that I regret what happened. So I slowly and as casually as possible, said, ‘Yes’. He nodded and left. I took that as an invitation to follow, even if I did have to practically jog to keep up with him. 

After a few minute, he turned around, and honestly seemed kind of surprised to see me following him. I thought he would blast me back with magic or something. Instead, he just sighed and shook his head, and walked away faster than I could possibly hope to keep up. And there’s no way that I would be able to find his office on my own, not in this confusing labyrinth that somehow managed to be a building.

But by now, I know my way back to the dungeons pretty well (that’s where the Slytherin common room and dorms are), since all you have to do is keep going down every staircase you come across. When I got to the common room, there was a bunch of students gathered around this blond kid, Draco. I think I told you about him before.

They were all fawning over him, saying how glad they were that he was finally well enough to return, and I can’t even begin to describe how guilty that made me feel. He must have been seriously injured by me, and I never even stuck around to make sure no one was hurt. That was weeks ago at this point. I hope he didn’t see my face, but even if he did, do you think that he would remember it?

He turned to look at me with that droopy frown. ‘Who are you?’

I guess it must have looked pretty strange. I was still standing there in my dirty old robes, and it wasn’t even the beginning of the year. I was saved from saying anything by one of my roommates. She looked at me with disdain. ‘Oh, her? I’m surprised you haven’t heard anything. She just transferred into the school a month ago, and like a week ago she caused some kind of magical explosion that could have killed a bunch of people if the professors didn’t interfere. Things have been hectic around here since you left. I think that this girl doesn’t really know her place’.

Another student spoke up as well. ‘She doesn’t even have a wand, isn’t that crazy? And none of the professors let her practice any magic’.

I glared at all the speakers. I didn’t need them ruining my reputation with the prince of the house when I have enough problems as it is. I wanted to snap at them, tell them to shut up since it had nothing to do with them, but I managed not to. I didn’t say anything, just pushed my way through the crowd to get to my dorm room.

Two of my roommates were flopped on their beds, discussing some nail polishing spell that they had found in whatever random magical fashion magazine in their possession. They both glared at me, for intruding on their moment I guess, but I didn’t care. I grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill, and I only had to wait a couple minutes for the girls to leave the room. Then I got onto my stomach and got under my bed, where I am right now. 

I’m glad that I can’t even hear a small murmur from the common room, because even if it sounds conceited, I’m afraid that they’re talking about me. I hope things change around here really soon. I really do.

Yours always,

Sophie


	19. Letter 30 (Sunday)

Dear Jessie,

Today I went down to the kitchens to help the house elves. I feel really bad, because I haven’t been by the kitchens since that incident last week. But when I got there, Luna, Neville, Hermione, and those two friends of hers, Ron and Harry, were already in there helping out. And not that it’s a bad thing, but I could tell that there wasn’t room for one more person, and they wouldn’t need more help anyways. I guess they managed without me. 

So I left before any of them saw me, and I wasn’t sure what to do. It’s Sunday, so I have no classes to go to, and I can’t find any homework to work on either. I decided to go and check out the Quidditch fields, since I heard some kids at breakfast mention that there was going to be a practice going on.

I got down to the pitch, and it looked way different than a soccer field. And I’ve heard of the players flying on broomsticks before, but to actually see it with my own eyes was quite breathtaking. They were blurs of color, moving faster than I can imagine. I’m still not quite sure what exactly the rules are. But I was surprised at the number of people sitting in the stands, and it wasn’t even an actual game.

Do athletes in our school have fans watching their practices? I guess I’ve never really paid enough attention to tell. And practice went on forever. I’m amazed that the players didn’t just drop dead on their feet once they landed on the ground for the final time. As I headed back inside, I overheard the conversation of the two people in front of me. ‘Let’s walk faster. I’m positive that she’s the one that nearly killed a Gryffindor’.

I wanted to scream at them. Or maybe just scream. No one was hurt, Luna said that no one was hurt. And if I was really that dangerous, then the headmaster would have thrown me out on my butt already. Right? I slowed down so that they could hurry out of my sight quicker. I thought that I was going to be sick. Why is everyone so ready to believe that I’m some terrible person, when they don’t even know me at all?

Well, I decided that I needed to talk to the red haired girl. Luna had said her name is Ginny. All I know is that she’s a Gryffindor, and she’s in my year. But on a day with no classes, that wasn’t very helpful. So at dinner, I made sure to be one of the first ones there. Since the Slytherin table is right in front of the door, I sat at the closest end and watched as everyone filed in.

When I finally saw her come in, surrounded by a few friends, I got up and went over to her. She gestured for her friends to go on without her, and they all cast me suspicious looks. She pulled me out into the now empty hallway. She spoke first. ‘The reason I’m always staring at you is because I’m trying to figure it out’. 

‘What?’

She sighed. ‘My older brother, Ronald, he likes Hermione. He has for a while. But I can tell that you do too. I wanted to check out his competition’.

I blushed. Had I really been that obvious? I’d always thought that my glances towards Hermione were discreet. ‘Oh? And what are your conclusions?’

Ginny shrugged. ‘I’m not sure. I want my brother to be happy, but I also want what’s best for Hermione. And I don’t want to see anyone get their heart broken. Listen, dinner is starting now. Can we talk later?’ I nodded mutely, and watched her go back into the Great Hall. I went back to my room. What am I supposed to do with that?

Yours always,

Sophie


	20. Letter 31 (Monday)

Dear Jessie,

It’s now been a month since I last saw you, and I’m afraid that I’m going to forget what you look like. That would be a tragedy. I think that it would be nice to never have to feel worry or regret or pain ever again, but some asshole decided that that’s not in the rules (I think you would call him God).

I’ve never been particularly religious, and thank goodness. All this magic and witches stuff would have completely melted my mind if I was. Did you know that the witches who were tried during the Salem Witch Trials in Massachusetts were actual wizards and witches? And almost none of them died, they just used spells to make it seem like they were dead so that they could get away later when no muggles were watching. We learned about that in history of magic class.

So today, Snape, my housemaster, tracked me down during breakfast to hand me a new schedule. He said that a few classes have been rearranged, ‘For convenience's sake’. Like it has absolutely nothing at all to do with the fact that there was an incident. I noticed that my potions and astrology classes have been swapped. No more potions with Ginny, and no more astrology with Neville and Luna.

Do you think it’s a coincidence that they conveniently switched potions with the only class that I sort of have friends in? Because I don’t. I mean, I can almost understand it that they don’t let me have a wand or practice my magic, because they’re scared that I won’t be able to stay in control, and to be honest, even I’m scared that I wouldn’t be able to stay in control. But it doesn’t make sense to separate me from the only people I actually talk to. Do they want me to grow old and die alone?

Or maybe those two requested that I be swapped out of their class. If they did, I wouldn’t really blame them. They don’t need my help with assisting the house elves in the kitchen, and I threatened one of Luna’s friends. At least, I think they’re friends. Why else would someone in Gryffindor be explaining everything to someone in Ravenclaw?

I didn’t even bother to go down to the kitchens at all today. I’m not so stupid that I can’t take a hint. They don’t need me, even if I do need them. Or maybe I don’t need them, I’m not really sure. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Hermione recently, either, so I have no idea what she thinks of all this. Or she’s probably avoiding me, since that makes the most sense.

What did I ever do to piss off the big guy upstairs? I mean, I don’t remember ever being mean to anyone, not beyond teasing between friends, and I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone. So why did he just suddenly decide that I deserved some kind of punishment? Because that has to be what all this is. Everything that’s happened in the past month.

I can’t even describe how much I miss you Jessie. I’ve always just taken you for granted, but you can be sure that I don’t do that anymore. I wish that, even though it’s a terrible thing to wish on somebody, you could be a witch too. Then you could come here, and we would hang out and talk and laugh and everything could be just like it used to be. Or maybe I could just figure out a way to stop being a witch, and then go home. There has to be a way, right? I’ll look into it.

Yours always,

Sophie


	21. Letter 32 (Tuesday)

Dear Jessie,

Today… well I’m not even sure how to describe it. Everyone else was off in their classes, and so sue me, I decided that I didn’t feel like going. It’s not like I learn anything anyways, everyone else is way ahead of me in all my classes since they’ve all been here the entire time, and I have not. 

So when I saw that I had the common room to myself, it was a relief. I don’t think I’ve ever been the only only lounging around on that emerald green couch. I curled up in the big cozy arm chair, and I had a book with me, Divergent. I remember you saying that you liked it, so I thought I would give it a try. But I only remember reading a few pages before I dozed off. I guess the past couple of days have really taken their toll on me.

I was rudely awakened as I fell to the floor with a thump. There was a Slytherin, a seventh year I think, who had just dumped me out of my resting place. I got up with annoyance. ‘What did you do that for?’

And he had the nerve to pretend that he was shocked at the accusing tone of my voice. ‘Are you blaming me for something, mate? I promise you that I’ve done nothing wrong. I swear, I didn’t see you there’. He smirked at me. So, sorry I know you don’t like violence, but I was fed up, so I picked up my book and hurled it at him.

He easily stepped aside, and let it hit the wall with a soft thud. I felt myself getting angry, and for a moment, I thought of the Hulk. I know you’re not as big a fan of comics as me, but you’ve heard of him at least, right? And just like Bruce Banner, I was afraid that the monster inside of me would get out again. And we already know how disastrous that would be. You know that better than anyone. 

So I forced myself to take deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth, until I felt my breathing slow down a little bit. I didn’t say anything else, just turned to go back to my dorm room. But that guy grabbed me by the shoulder, taking me by surprise. 

‘Hey, I was talking to you. Are you really going to be so rude that you don’t even answer me?’

I shrugged, trying to stay calm. I knew if I blew up again, then I would be finished here for sure. He whipped out his wand, which had probably been hidden in the deep pocket of his robes, and pressed it against the underside of my chin. ‘You going to apologize or what?’

I reached up and grabbed at his wand. He jerked back, and tripped, over the back of his robes, I guess. He landed and there was a loud crunch. For a moment I thought it was bone. But when he stood up, he was cradling his wand, which had been split into two pieces. He glared at me, and ran forward to hit me. But he couldn’t get any closer. There was some kind of invisible wall blocking him, and I just know that it was coming from me.

I turned and ran to my dorm room, and as you’ve probably guessed by now, yes, I’m hiding under my bed like the coward that I am. This place… these people… it’s all slowly sucking the life out of me, I can tell. But there’s no way to change it. And I’m sure I’ll get in trouble for this soon enough, once he goes and tattles on me, and he’ll probably say that I purposely broke his wand or something. At this point, though, getting expelled wouldn’t really bother me as much as it should.

Yours always,

Sophie


	22. Letter 33 (Wednesday)

Dear Jessie,

I know that I usually write these letters at night before I go to bed, or at least in the afternoon. But today so much has happened already, and it’s only eight in the morning. I woke up extra early today, at six in the morning (I know, you probably think that I’m making it up. There’s no way that a lazy lump like me would be able to get up so early) because I went to bed so early last night, during dinner.

Well, I decided to chill in the common room, since I didn’t expect anyone else to be there so early in the morning. Then I decided that I have been too lazy recently, so after changing into sweat pants and a tee shirt (if any of my roommates complain about me borrowing their clothes I’ll just threaten to hex them) I went upstairs. I was originally planning to just do a few laps around the entrance hallway, which is rather large, but I saw that the front door is open.

I really do prefer to run on the grass, it’s much more comfortable than the cement floor in here. So I slipped outside and began to jog around the school. I bet your jaw is probably hanging open right now. First I rise before the sun, and then I go out for a jog. I guess that just taking a walk wasn’t going to be enough.

Before I had even circled half of the castle, I was wheezing for breath, and my muscles were screaming at me. I really should work out more often. As sore as it made me feel, it was also very invigorating. So I was standing outside, trying to catch my breath, when I heard someone’s footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw Hermione.

She was also dressed down, and looked as sweaty as I felt. She almost slammed right into me, and I managed to duck out of the way. She stopped and turned around, and I saw earbuds dangling from her ears. I’ve mentioned before that there are no electronics at this school, right? So I guess I was staring.

She pulled out the earbuds and shoved them into one of her pockets. ‘Please don’t tell anyone’.

I know that she’s muggle born, like me, and honestly, if I had the chance to have my music blasting in my ears while I ran, that would have been awesome. So I wasn’t going to judge her or anything. I shrugged casually. My heart was only beating so fast because of the exercise, not anything else. ‘Of course not’. It was hard to read her face, since it was bright red from the exertion.

She grinned at me, and it was a brilliant smile. I wish I could have taken a picture or something. ‘I heard about what happened. Is everything okay?’

I was surprised. For a moment I had forgotten that we haven’t spoken to each other at all since the incident in potions. And she was worried about me? Even though Ginny and everyone else in that class were the ones in danger? I just nodded. ‘Yeah, fine. Thanks for asking’.

She narrowed her eyes. ‘You know, if anything’s wrong, I’m pretty good at listening to people. If you ever need to talk or anything...’

I gulped and nodded. ‘Yeah, thanks’. Then Hermione put her earbuds back in and got back to her running. I couldn’t help watching as she left. She looks so graceful when she moves, and it immediately made me feel like a creepy stalker afterwards, even though she’s the one who bumped into me.

After that I returned to my room, changed, waited for the shower, and am now writing this letter. And I’m not even hiding under my bed this time.

Yours always,

Sophie


	23. Letter 34 (Thursday)

Dear Jessie,

You’ll never guess what happened today. Well if you guess literally nothing, then you’re absolutely incorrect. I didn’t realize that the others were all still helping out in the kitchens with the house elves, working really hard. So I went down there today. But when I saw how crowded it was, I knew that I would only end up being more of a nuisance than an actual helpful person.

So before any of them could spot me, I left. And if you want to call it running away, that’s fine, but I would just call it leaving. As I was (not) running through the corridors to get back to the Slytherin dorms, I bumped right into Professor Snape. Trust me, he’s hard enough to get along with when he likes you, and since none of the teachers here like me, I’m just kind of out of luck.

He grabbed my arm and dragged me all the way to his office, without permission. Once we were in there, he shoved me into the seat across from his desk, and instead of sitting down, he began pacing around. After a few minutes, I cleared my throat to remind him of my presence, in case he forgot that I was there or something. 

Boy did that man look pissed. ‘Do you realize what you are doing?’ Of course, I had no idea what he was talking about, and I felt that my interests would best be served if I just remained silent for the time being. That seemed to be the right choice, because after a pause he kept talking. ‘House elves should not be working alongside humans, no matter what’.

Before he could continue, I interrupted him. After all, I no longer have anything left to lose, so what does it matter if he decides that his interests would best be served if he snuck into the dorm rooms and murdered me in the middle of the night. No one would even miss me if he did decide that the murder of a student was his best option.

‘Sir, if I may say something’. I didn’t wait for him to confirm that he was going to let me live. ‘Those house elves work their asses off just to serve food to arrogant wizards such as yourself who believe that it is possible for one person to be beneath another just because of their blood ancestry or because they were born tiny and blue with pointy ears instead of human. I’m pretty sure that most house elves actually contain more magic in their bodies than the majority of human witches and wizards. And they are slaves. There, I said it, because it’s true. They get paid nothing to work their asses off for people who have nothing to do with them other than ownership. And I don’t know how you can be okay with it, but I know that I won’t stand for slavery’.

Snape’s eyes narrowed, and I was almost one hundred percent positive that he was going to leap over and throttle (strangle) me to death right then and there. Instead, he just looked at me like I was the gum that got stuck on the bottom of his shoe. He dismissed me in a very stiff voice, and I went back to the Slytherin common room.

To be completely truthful, I’m pretty surprised that I escaped that encounter with my life. I wonder what had possessed me to talk like that. Well, it had to have been all my choice to suddenly be a dick, but there was no other option if I didn’t want to be lectured out by the potions teacher. I know I’ll discover the consequences soon, but for now, everything is okay.

Yours forever,

Sophie


	24. Letter 35 (Friday)

Dear Jessie,

Today when I woke up, my mind was swirling with, well, everything. A lot’s happened to me, though I’ve only been at this school for a little over a month now. And you know how much I’ve been talking about getting into shape (I think I may have mentioned it once or twice), right? So I decided to go for another early morning jog. At least it’s something that wasn’t a complete failure the first time it happened, though a lot’s changed since then. (Also, I may have been trying to avoid Snape, and he’s so pasty, there’s no way he would ever go outside where there’s sun unless it’s a life or death situation).

As I was making my way around the school (so maybe I was going at the pace of a fast walk, I prefer not to be completely out of breath, thank you very much) I saw Hermione in front of me. She was leaning against the cool stones that make up the castle, breathing deeply. Her eyes were closed, her earbuds were in, and she just looked like she was so intensely deep in that music, and I didn’t want to interrupt. I actually understand the effect that music has on some people (despite what you may think).

I turned away to keep going, when I felt someone grab my arm. It was Hermione (of course (who else would be going around grabbing people’s arms so early in the morning)). ‘Hey, I need to talk to you’.

I shrugged. ‘Okay’.

She smiled gently, like she wasn’t sure how to phrase whatever was going through her mind. ‘I saw you outside the kitchen yesterday. Why didn’t you come in and help? I mean, it was all your idea to begin with’.

I blushed, I admit it. I didn’t think that anyone had actually seen me during my brief appearance that didn’t involve me stepping in to help at any time. ‘It looked like you guys have got it all covered pretty well. There is such a thing as too much helping’.

She looked at me searchingly. ‘Are you sure that’s everything?’

Then it occurred to me that though Snape knows Hermione and the others better than me, that doesn’t necessarily mean he likes them any better than he likes me. ‘On a slightly related note, if Professor Snape comes after you about the whole helping the house elves thing, then you have my full permission to blame me completely’.

She frowned. ‘What are you talking about?’

I sighed. ‘He may have pulled me into his office yesterday to inform me that it’s against the rules for humans to work alongside the house elves’. I spoke the next part as quickly as possible. ‘And I may have been a complete jerk to him and incurred his wrath and I’m very very sorry about that’.

Hermione rolled her eyes. ‘Geez, it seems like the only problems we ever have are with the Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers. You weren’t here, but it’s almost like that position is cursed to give us the most angst. And don’t worry about, we’ve faced much worse and survived’. Then she pulled me into a hug, which was completely unexpected. ‘Just stay safe, okay?’

I nodded, and as soon as she was out of sight, I went back the way I came and ran all the way to the Slytherin dorms.

Yours always, 

Sophie


	25. Letter 36 (Saturday)

Dear Jessie,

I’m so glad that it’s finally the weekend, though I’m pretty sure the week drags on much worse for the students who are actually expected to do their work and stuff. But still, it’s tough for me too. At least now I don’t feel extremely awkward walking around, since I’m not the only student who isn’t in class.

I went to the kitchens, just to see whether or not the others got my warning from Hermione. I wouldn’t want them all to suffer and be punished because of my own inability to stay out of trouble with the professors (especially Snape). 

To my surprise, they were all in there, Neville, Luna, and Hermione, all toiling away for the sake of the house elves. And despite what Snape told me on Thursday, I think the elves are very grateful for the help, since they’re clearly being overworked. I hurried away, and this time I was extra careful to make sure that no one saw me. I don’t want to get a reputation as being a sneaky spy or something.

I started to go back to the Slytherin common room, but then decided to stay away. Hanging around there for no reason can only cause more trouble. Not that I think I can get into any more trouble than I’m currently in, but still. It’s the thought that counts, right?

So I decided that I needed to work off some of the excess energy. Apparently schooling took a lot more out of me than I thought, because whenever I skip classes I always seem a lot more energetic. And the teachers are probably more energetic too, because they don’t have to be constantly worrying that I’m going to do something dangerous (like explode) and let someone get hurt.

I walked back and forth down the hall on the seventh floor (it’s the straightest one, with the least possible interruptions). I walked up and down the corridor about twenty times before Ginny approached me. She just came right up to me. ‘Listen, we need to talk’.

I gulped. If she wanted to punch my face in right then and there, I really wouldn’t be able to blame her for it. The proper response for staring at someone doesn’t involve almost killing them with magic that you have no idea how to control. ‘Okay’.

She smiled. ‘I was afraid that you were going to run away. So listen, I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you because presumably your classes were switched around, but I wanted to apologize’. 

That just confused me. Why would she ever want to apologize to me? And we had already spoken after the incident, and that was several weeks ago at this point. ‘What? Why?’

She shrugged. ‘I shouldn’t have been staring at you. I shouldn’t have told you that Ron likes Hermione too. Hell, there’s a million things that I could apologize for, but I’ve learned a long time ago that no matter what anyone says, apologizing doesn’t fix anything. So I want to help you’.

I frowned. ‘With what?’

She smiled. ‘My brother’s such a git. He doesn’t understand the first thing about love, and lately he’s been parading around with another girl, not Hermione. Lavender Brown, she’s in their year, not ours. And if Ron is going to have a different girlfriend, then he’s no longer got any stakes in Hermione’s relationships. So I’m going to help set the two of you up!’

I must have looked as shocked as I felt. ‘That’s really not necessary. Besides, she’s probably not into… you know… chicks’.

Ginny frowned. ‘Geez, Americans sure have some weird expressions. But you don’t know who she’s interested in. I’m going to make sure you are happy’. She smiled kindly. ‘It’s the least I can do, so please, at least let me try’. And I must be as crazy as her, because I agreed.

Yours always,

Sophie


	26. Letter 37 (Sunday)

Dear Jessie,

I haven’t seen Ginny all day, and I can’t help but feel a little disappointed that she’s not going to help me with Hermione after all. It’s not like I ever believed that I had a chance, but it was nice to have someone else believe in me for once. But now I’m just rambling.

Something happened today that’s never happened before. I went down to Hogsmeade village (by myself, of course), and I was just sitting around in the Three Broomsticks, minding my own business. A professor comes up to me, Trelawney, I think I may have told you about her before, I don’t remember, though.

She had this funny look in her eyes, and she beckoned for me to follow her. I wasn’t even a little frightened (and if anyone saw me visibly shaking, they must have wobbly eyesight) as she led me to a room she had rented out. I was just relieved that we were at least staying in the building. There were a few other students in the pub, and I figured that if I screamed for help, they would come rescue me, not knowing who I am until they save me.

The frazzled looking lady gestured for me to have a seat on the bed, and I complied. I may not approve of the headmaster in almost any way, but I know that he’s trustworthy, and he wouldn’t hire a psycho murderer or something. She sighed, and paced nervously across the tiny room, until my nerves couldn’t stand it any more. ‘Is there a reason you needed to speak with me so urgently that it couldn’t wait until we return to the school grounds?’

She looked shocked that I had actually said something, and it took her a moment before she stood still, and nodded. ‘It’s very urgent, in fact.’ There was a long pause, and just when I was going to get up and leave, she continued. ‘You’re adopted’.

I laughed (it may have been a little meanly). ‘Is that what this is about? I’ve known that for as long as I’ve been able to talk. It was pretty obvious, I mean, my parents are both black, and I’m not’. I stood up. ‘If you’ll excuse me...’

She leaped forward and snagged my wrist, gripping so tight that I think I’ll find bruises there tomorrow. ‘You are shrouded in darkness, your future is hidden from me in ways I’ve never seen before. What are you?’

I tried to yank my arm back, but she was strong. ‘Listen, I’m not in your class anymore, and I promise I won’t tell anyone about this, but I really need to be going-’

Her voice suddenly sounded strange, and echoey. ‘The Dark Lord will not be alone in his ventures. He has risen from his eternal grave, and will come to collect the one person who will either join him and guarantee his victory or fight him and guarantee his death. The child who was born at the death of July. A child whose magic was hidden throughout childhood. The child must be protected or feared, because only this one can determine the fate of the world’. She blinked a few times, and looked around with a dazed expression. ‘I’m sorry, what are we doing in here?’ She let go of my arm, and I ran.

I ran all the way back to Hogwarts, and well, you probably guessed it, immediately dove beneath my bed. It’s the only place I feel safe. I have no idea what kind of crap she was trying to pull. Maybe she wants to scare me away from the school, or maybe she’s just bonkers, I don’t really know. But I hope I find out soon.

Yours always,

Sophie


	27. Letter 38 (Monday)

Dear Jessie,

Well, yesterday was weird, but honestly, by now I think you should have realized that there’s been some stranger days for me. I feel like my whole life is spinning completely out of control, and I just don’t understand why. What jerk decided that I would be the one whose life gets utterly destroyed by magic? What twist of fate was that?

So I was curious about the things that Trelawney said yesterday, and I wanted to see if it was total made up crap, or if it actually means anything. It took a lot of digging, but eventually I was able to uncover that the ‘Dark Lord’ she mentioned is some guy named Voldemort. And according to the book I found the name in, that’s not a moniker that one should just casually toss around.

And when I looked further, I found this book about a kid named Harry Potter. Sounds familiar, right? That’s because Harry Potter is the name of one of Hermione’s best friends. I’m pretty sure that someone mentioned his fame to me at some point, but I pretty much forgot all about that. 

Harry Potter was born July 31, which could be the death of July in some metaphorical sense, or whatever. Well, apparently when he was just a baby, Voldemort broke into his house, killed his parents, and tried to kill him. But he ended up killing Voldemort instead, so now he’s super famous, and he has defeated Voldemort several times since he began attending Hogwarts. That’s a hell of a reputation, huh?

But according to what Trelawney said, Harry is kind of on the fence. He could defeat Voldemort, or side with the guy. I’m not sure what to do with this information. I mean, I would assume that the professor would inform Dumbledore, since she’s the one with the ‘Inner Eye’ as she calls it. But yesterday she didn’t seem to be able to remember what she had said.

I guess it doesn’t really make a difference either way. This is none of my business. If Harry wants to side with the evil guy, that’s his choice, and nothing anyone says or does is going to change that. He can do whatever he wants, this is a free country… Oh wait, sorry, my bad, I was thinking of the states again. It’s hard to believe that I miss the place so much, isn’t it? But more than any landmark or building or boring sights, the one thing I miss most of all is you, Jessie. 

I’m trying to think of what you would do in my situation, but I know that you would never be here. You would never lose your temper for the five seconds it took for accidental magic to spill out of me and injure and kill more people than I can count. I see a lot of students who are very happy with their magic, but that’s just not me.

It’s been so long, well, only a little over a month, but it feels like much longer. I feel like I’ve ages twenty years, and haven’t seen you in twice as long. Do you ever wonder what became of me? Or were you just pleased that I was gone, and out of your life?

I wish there was some kind of survival book to guide me through this place, because everything is happening so fast, and I don’t even know what to say or do anymore. I used to feel like I knew everything, and now all I know is that I know nothing. 

It’s too bad that they don’t allow technology in the school, because then I could just google the incident, and see if you’re doing okay now. Plus I’d be able to do more efficient research on Harry Potter and Voldemort. Maybe I should try asking Hermione, since she is friends with Harry. I don’t know, I guess I’ll figure it all out later.

Yours always, 

Sophie


	28. Letter 39 (Tuesday)

Dear Jessie,

Today’s been a roller coaster, just going up and down all day. Ginny Weasley approached me, and apologized for not talking to me sooner after that bold declaration that she’s going to help me get together with Hermione. Apparently she had a lot of work, and ended up getting side tracked by life in general. In fact, she told me that I was lucky to have her get back to me after such a short time.

I almost told her to just go away and leave me alone, because you know how nervous I must be, thinking that no matter what leads up to it, there will be a point in the future where I have to tell Hermione what I feel about her. And that thought makes me puke a little in the back of my throat (and I’m really sorry if that just put an unpleasant image in your mind, but it’s true).

Ginny put her hands on her hips, and gave me a funny look. ‘Why haven’t you shown up to help out in the kitchens in a while? I mean, it was your idea to start with, so I don’t know why you went and stopped going. The house elves miss you’.

I scoffed. ‘Yeah, I doubt that. I mean, I never really did much, it was always the others’.

Ginny laughed. ‘And so humble, too. But I’m not lying, they really did miss you. If you want proof, one of them gave me this, with the strict instructions to give it to you. He would have given it to you himself, but he said that for some reason, he couldn’t find your bed…? Anyways, here you go’. And she reached out to hand me something.

I automatically held out my hand, palm facing up, out of some strange instinct, and the redhead dropped a small ring into my hand. I looked at it closer, and I found that it was beautiful. A gold band with a black pearl resting on it, large enough to be impressive, but not large enough to weigh down the hand of whoever wears it. 

Ginny just shrugged. ‘If you want to see the other gifts they’ve all requested that we hand off to you, then just come with me. I was somehow delegated with storing them all until you could get them, courtesy of Luna’.

I haven’t really done anything worth a beautiful bracelet and ring, let alone even more stuff. I tried to say that, but Ginny didn’t seem interested in hearing it. She dragged me across the school, to what I assumed was the Gryffindor common room. And if it had been anyone else, I probably would have run away, but I do owe her after everything I’ve done.

So she told me to stay, sort of like how one would command a dog, then she ran off down the hallway. I’m pretty sure that Gryffindor’s base is located on the seventh floor. She came back after what felt like forever, and handed me a small bag, and it was lovely. A red velvet pouch with gold tinsel drawstrings.

I heard it rattle slightly as she handed it to me. Then she sort of dismissed me, and I came back to my own room. I bet you’re just as curious as me about what sorts of treasures the house elves have given me, and to be honest, where they got those treasures from. But I’m so excited, I couldn’t wait to write to you, so I’ll open the bag as soon as I sign this letter.

Yours always,

Sophie


	29. Letter 40 (Wednesday)

Dear Jessie,

It’s Wednesday already, which means that there’s only half of this crazy week left for now. But isn’t it sad that as people, we dread the entire middle of our weeks? And we can’t even properly enjoy Sundays, because we know that the next day is going to be Monday, which no matter what anybody says, really is the worst day of the week. It bodes an entire week of torture for us, which is just not fair.

So I went down to the kitchens today, just to take stock of how many people were there, and whether or not they truly needed my help. It wouldn’t be fair for me to keep getting such extravagant gifts when I think I’ve done the least amount of work over all. I mean, I’ve already gotten the bracelet, the ring, the pouch, and inside the pouch was a bunch of fancy swirling glass marbles.

When I peered in, I saw that Hermione was the only one in there doing any work. Everyone else must have decided that they were done with helping out the house elves. The tasks are pretty tedious and repetitive, but at least it means less work for the house elves, and that’s a movement that I can get behind. Or apparently stand in front of.

So I took a deep breath, and went inside. One of the elves ran over and hugged my knees. It was heart breaking, and I now regret not coming back sooner, though I still don’t understand why they seem to like me so much. I haven’t done any more for them than any of the others, but hey, what do I know?

I took my place next to Hermione, and we worked silently for a while. But then she interrupted the natural kitchen sounds, and spoke to me. ‘I was wondering when I was going to see you around here again’.

I shrugged. ‘Like I said before, there were already so many people in here, and the house elves can only use so much help’.

She laughed. ‘Yeah, weird how nobody else decided to show up today, isn’t is?’

I have a strong suspicion that Ginny somehow coordinated all of this. She’s pretty clever, and just yesterday she was telling me how she was going to set us up, so I wouldn’t put it past her to have figured out some kind of trap like that. ‘Well, at least we showed, right? So the house elves aren’t completely on their own?’

Hermione nodded. ‘Yeah, I suppose so. But they’re only really happy on the days that you show up. You must have done something to make them all adore you so much. I could always tell which days you stopped by, even if you didn’t come in, because all the elves would be in a much cheerier mood’.

I gasped. ‘What did I do, though? I’m nobody, and I’ve done nothing. You’ve done more work for their equal rights than me, so I don’t think that it would matter one way or another what I do. Nothing that I do matters’.

Hermione frowned. ‘Do you really believe that?’ I nodded, and she sighed. ‘That’s really… rather sad. Hasn’t anyone ever just told you that you’re valuable as a person? Just a simple thing of mentioning that you do matter?’

I shook my head. ‘I don’t think that there are many people who would feel comfortable lying right to my face like that’.

Hermione looked shocked, and we finished the rest of our tasks in silence. But it wasn’t really the uncomfortable sort. It was more like, she was giving me space, because she knows that not many people in this school are even that courteous towards me. 

I wonder what will become of this. I mean, the me and Hermione and helping the house elves thing. If this was Ginny’s doing, I’ll have to thank her later.

Yours always,

Sophie


	30. Letter 41 (Thursday)

Dear Jessie,

Today was another one of those bizarre days, and while I know that this obviously hasn’t been the worst week that I’ve had here at Hogwarts, it’s definitely contending for one of the strangest. It’s already been, what, six weeks or so since the incident happened and I transferred here? Because to me, it feels like it’s been years and years.

Today, I was sitting in my History of Magic class (and believe me when I say that I no longer find our old history teacher, Mrs Brown, to be boring at all. Compared to my classes here, nothing at the old school can really be seen as boring in comparison. At least there I was learning something) when there was a knock at the door.

To everyone’s surprise, the headmaster was standing there, and he looked all around the room before his gaze landed on me. And I have to tell you, Dumbledore has this way of looking at you, that makes you think he’s looking straight into your soul or something. It brings up everything you’ve ever done wrong, and forces you to think about those things.

He cleared his throat. ‘Professor, I hope you wouldn’t mind if Sophie were to accompany on a walk? I’m certain that she can make up her classwork another time’. The professor nodded, and I had no excuse that would get me out of it. I left, and the headmaster gave me a funny look. ‘You’re not going to take your things?’

I shrugged. ‘I don’t have any things to take with me. Sorry to disappoint’.

He waved the subject aside as we reached the front doors. He opened them, and motioned for me to step outside. I almost thought it was a trick, where he was going to lock me out as soon as I went out. But I really had no other choice, so I went, and he followed behind me. He gestured for me to keep walking along the path, and I stared up at the old wizard in confusion. He chuckled. ‘I can tell that you are anxious. You do not know the purpose of this impromptu meeting’.

I raised one eyebrow. ‘Is that what this is? A meeting? Well, you’re right. I don’t understand why you pulled me out of class. Sir’. I added, just to be polite.

He cleared his throat. ‘Yes, well, I actually wanted to speak with you about the astrology instructor, I’m sure you know her. Professor Trelawney’.

I nodded. ‘She was one of my teachers until a bunch of my classes were switched around. But what about her?’ I know, I know, I was being rude and disrespectful to my elder. But he had never given me any reason to actually respect him, so I wasn’t going to apologize anytime soon.

Dumbledore nodded. ‘Yes, I am aware. The matter I wished to address was something that one of your peers overheard in Hogsmeade this past weekend. This student, who wishes to remain anonymous, reported that the professor pulled you aside, and then there was lots of shouting. You then left looking very distressed. I wish to know what exactly transpired’.

I shrugged, and mumbled. After all, I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a tattletale. Trelawney may be nuts, but she did nothing to harm me. While, other than the harm that it must have cause my mental health, I’m sure. ‘Nothing much. She was just spouting some nonsense, I think about that kid, Harry Potter’.

Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully. ‘Though I doubt it, can you tell me exactly what she said?’

I rolled my eyes. The faith this man has in his own students is rather astounding. How could I forget that dumb crap? You know as well as I do why I would never be able to forget that. ‘She said, and these were her exact words, “The Dark Lord will not be alone in his ventures. He has risen from his eternal grave, and will come to collect the one person who will either join him and guarantee his victory or fight him and guarantee his death. The child who was born at the death of July. A child whose magic was hidden throughout childhood. The child must be protected or feared, because only this one can determine the fate of the world” Is that all?’

He gave me a strange look, but nodded that I could go, and I scampered away. Honestly, this place just keeps throwing surprise after surprise at me. Who knows how much longer I’ll be able to last.

Yours always, 

Sophie


	31. Letter 42 (Friday)

Dear Jessie,

Thank god it’s finally Friday. Getting through just one week at this school seems to require more energy than I ever thought possible, and I’m not sure it it’s even in me to continue. Today, I was summoned to Dumbledore’s office via owl letter, and let me tell you, the man should have included a map or something with his note. 

It’s already been so long, and I’m still constantly discovering new areas, that I swear didn’t exist the week before. By the time I was finally able to stumble into his office, I felt like I had already been completely exhausted. He gestured for me to sit down. ‘Ah, Sophie, I’m so glad you could finally make it. I wished to re-examine yesterday’s conversation with you’.

I shrugged. It’s not like I could really argue with him on the matter, and even if I could, why bother? Other than the fact that this guy runs the school and I’m still running around in my only uniform, with no wand. I’m a freak among the freaks, I tell you. ‘Sure. What about it?’

He smiled kindly, and I almost felt bad for being rude. Almost, but not quite. ‘When’s your birthday?’

That question surprised me. It seemed awfully random, and as far as I could tell, it had absolutely nothing to do with yesterday. I gulped. Maybe it was some kind of trick question or something. ‘Er, September 11. Why?’

He frowned. ‘When Professor Trelawney spoke to you, why did you assume that she was referring to Harry Potter?’

I shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I mean, I looked some stuff up, and it makes the most sense. His birthday’s at the end of July, and he’s Vo- er… the, um, evil guy’s nemesis’. I cringed. Everything I’ve read so far specifically says that you’re never supposed to say Voldemort’s name out loud. I guess technically I shouldn’t write it, either, but since nobody’s ever going to actually read these letters, it can’t make anyone that uncomfortable.

Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully. ‘Did you know that Professor Trelawney is descended from a very notable seer, Cassandra?’ I shook my head. Even if that had ever been mentioned in class, which I doubt, I wasn’t paying attention enough to remember. ‘I suppose that she has now officially made three real prophecies. I must give her a pay raise’.

I frowned. ‘What do you mean, real prophecies?’

He smiled. ‘Well, seers have the ability to make prophecies that predict how future events will play out. There is no way around them, and no way to know for sure when each will take place. When I first hired Trelawney, it was because I heard her real prophecy, and decided that the safest place for her would be here, in these halls. She made her second real prophecy just three years ago, and now, apparently she has made another. Do you understand what it was about?’

I shrugged. ‘Harry Potter is either going to side with Vo-... the bad guy… or he’s going to destroy him’.

Dumbledore frowned, but he didn’t contradict me. ‘You are quite an unusual person. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone quite like you’. Then he waved his hand in dismissal, and I left. Now I’m wondering about what Trelawney said, apparently a prophecy. Why would anyone ever side with Voldemort? There’s no way Hermione would let her friend go to the dark side.

I wonder what the purpose of that meeting was. I haven’t learned anything, not really, but I’m almost certain that Dumbledore has. He seems like the type of person who would be able to learn a lot just from that short conversation.

Because it took me so long to find Dumbledore’s office, I ended missing the whole Divination class (whoops) and I wasn’t able to get down to the kitchens. I’m still wary of Snape, but he hasn’t popped out of any hiding places, or jumped out from behind any corners lately, so I think that I should be safe, at least for now.

Yours always, 

Sophie


	32. Letter 43 (Saturday)

Dear Jessie,

Something terrible has happened! I went to look at my treasures, you know, the ones from the house elves, and to get to the pouch with the treasures in it I had to move the box I’ve been storing all my letters to you in. But the box was gone! Our trunks all have locks on them, so how could anyone have broken in and stolen those letters!? And why would they want to!?

Those letters hold everything that’s happened to me in all my time here, in all my time away from you, and someone has taken them away from me for no good reason! I hate this whole school! Everyone here can just go to hell! Why why why why why is all that’s running through my mind and I don’t know what to do and Jessie I know that you would be able to figure out what to do but I can’t do anything because I’m useless and I don’t know what to do and I’m so angry with myself and everyone here and I can’t figure out what to do!

Please please please

I need your help,

Sophie


	33. Dear Sophie #1 (Wednesday)

Dear Sophie, 

I’m not sure where you are right now. I know that this is probably the stupidest way to start a letter, but I can’t think of anything else. I’m not sure if you ever really meant to even send them, based on what you said in the first few, and I’m not sure how you ever trained a pack of owls to deliver letters for you, but I suppose that that’s all for another time.

Let me try this again. Early this morning, (Wednesday) I was sitting in my room minding my own business, when like twenty owls all fly into my room, looking exhausted. Each one was carrying two rolled up pieces of paper. It took me a while to go around and remove each letter without tearing any. (What’s that paper even made of? It doesn’t feel like any paper I’ve ever used before.) I ended up using Percy’s entire box of treats for the owls, and then, after a few minutes, they all flew away.

I unrolled all of the papers, and began to read. I noticed that they were letters, and I sorted them all by date to put them in the right order. I started with the first one, and I think that my heart broke a little. I thought that maybe this was all some kind of elaborate prank, because you mentioned magic and I didn’t understand.

But as I read further I realized that there’s no way that this was something that you made up. After all, I witnessed your magic up close, remember? (Sorry, that was mean. But you seriously need to stop beating yourself up about something that was out of your control, or I’m going to go all the way to Scotland just to knock some sense into you.)

You’ve mentioned a few times that you think I would fit in there, in your new school, but I don’t think that’s true. I would stick out like the sorest thumb there, since I am just… what did you call it? A muggle?

What gets me the most is how many times you’ve asked for my help. You don’t need my help! You’ve been able to make it all on your own for all this time, and from what you’ve written, you haven’t done too shabby of a job.

I miss you too. I don’t know why you would think that I hate you. If anything, you should be the one who hates me. Everything that’s happened leading up to and since the incident was because of me. You know what I did, so why do you only blame yourself?

I’m glad that you’ve found something to do with your time (helping out those poor house elves), and that you’ve managed to make friends, despite what you thought in the beginning. If you could see your transformation over time the way that I can, you wouldn’t be so negative about everything. You’re doing a great job so far.

You know, when I first read about Hermione, she sounded like kind of a bitch, so I was going to warn you against pursuing her, but as I read further, I have come to the conclusion that she would be good for you. 

I’m afraid I can’t give much input in the prophecy department, I understand it all about as much as you do, if not less. And I’ve probably told you a million times not to antagonize your teachers, but I could tell you a million more times, and you still wouldn’t listen to me. I really want to try some butterbeer, just so I can chug it down and show off to you.

I’ve been avoiding it so far, but I really shouldn’t anymore. After you left, I felt betrayed. But not for the reasons that you think. It’s because you left without a word, and I had no idea where you went, or if you were even still alive. I was so busy being worried for you, I couldn’t even recover properly (I don’t mean to make you feel guiltier, I just want you to know the truth). I thought that you really did decide to hate me forever, and I couldn’t stand it. Then, out of the blue, I get all those letters, and I’m not sure that you ever meant to send them to me, and I can’t help feeling like maybe we both should have made more effort to reach out after the incident.

I want you to be happy, I truly do. That’s just a given, when it comes to best friends. We want each other to have the best lives that we can, but I’m afraid that I’ve ruined your chances of ever having a happy, normal, life. When anyone asks your parents where you are, they just give a vague answer about a detention center somewhere, for what you did. They still think that the incident was caused purposely, like you had meant to hurt all those people. I know that you didn’t, I just wish they could figure it out.

Everything I’ve read about your time so far makes me envy your courage. I know that you’ve always thought of me as the brave one, but I’m not the one who was thrown into a new world, across the ocean, with no friends or family anywhere nearby, as an outcast, who still managed to find a way to fit in.

I never got a return address (I guess those owls forgot to leave one behind), so I can’t send you this, even though I really really want to. I know that we both just need to be able to hear from each other every now and then. But I guess it would be inconvenient for your owls to go back and forth from Scotland to the States all the time.

Yours for infinity,

Jessie


	34. Dear Sophie #2 (Thursday)

Dear Sophie,

I really did think that all of those owls had flown away yesterday, and I assumed that they were going back to Scotland, since they obviously don’t belong here. But this morning, one showed up at my window, and he didn’t look nearly as exhausted as all of the others had yesterday.

He kept looking at me expectantly, like I had something that he wanted. I tried offering one of Percy’s remaining treats (I think he knows that I shared them with strange owls, and now he’s shunning me), but that’s not what he wanted. Then that little bird picked up my pen, and dropped it down in front of me. That’s when I got the idea that he wants me to write something. And since all of those letters I got were from you, I assumed that you’re the one he wanted me to write a letter to.

After I finish writing this, I’m going to give him this letter, along with the one that I wrote yesterday. Even now, the owl just keeps strutting around impatiently. I think I’ll call him Imp, short for impatience.

Well, knowing that you’re safe, and (slightly) happy makes me feel much better, and I slept last night without a single nightmare. That was wonderful, the first good night of sleep that I’ve gotten in over a month.

So I’ve been thinking, and I have some questions. Do your parents know that you’re a witch? Do they have magic too? Are you going to look into that prophecy? 

Remember back when we were in sixth grade, and we learned that P!nk was going on tour, and one of her stops was going to be at the concert hall that’s only an hour and a half drive from here? We were so excited, and the whole time we were just jumping around, waiting for the moment that we would get to meet our idol. In the end, though, we never got to meet her.

But now, there you are, in a fancy wizarding school, and you’ve gotten to meet the celebrity of the wizarding world. Imagine how many jealous fans out there, who feel just like we did when we didn’t get to meet our star. But even better, you somehow managed to become friends with him. Well done.

I know that you probably shouldn’t believe anything I say, considering the fact that the incident was really all my fault, but I know that you’ll believe me anyway. You’ve always believed in me. I just want you to know that no matter what’s happened, I love you. You’re like the sister that I never had, only with a lot less fighting, and I’m afraid that I’ve never told you that before, and I guess I was afraid that I would never get the chance to tell you that.

But now it’s out there. So whether or not things work out for you at Hogwarts, just know that you always a friend here, with doors wide open. Come home as soon as you're ready, because I can’t wait to see you again.

Yours for infinity,

Jessie


	35. Letter 44 (Saturday)

Dear Jessie,

I haven’t written a single letter all week, because I had no idea what happened to all of the letters that were in my trunk, and I was afraid that someone was using them to laugh at me behind my back. But today, the strangest thing happened. An owl showed up, one that I’ve never seen before. He gave me the two letters you wrote, and I thought that I was going to cry when I read them.

I never thought that I’d be able to hear from you again. I can hardly believe that you truly forgive me for what happened, and that you would even blame yourself for that whole incident. I love you too, and though it pleases me to no end to actually have documented proof of your feelings, I’ve always known that you feel the same way.

About what you said, that Hermione would be good for me, that makes me really happy. I’m glad that the person I have unrequited feelings for has your approval. You’re right too, when you said that I probably didn’t even mean to send you all those letters. I swear, I didn’t. I’m not sure who decided that you should be able to read all of those personal things that I wrote, but I wish I knew, just so that I could thank them, or something.

I’m sorry you felt betrayed by my leaving, but I really had no choice in the matter. I had to go, because of all the people that I’ve hurt, and all the damage that I’ve caused. I see that now, how necessary it is for me to learn how to control my magic so that I can never hurt another person again. 

I know that it takes a few days for owl mail, apparently three or four will suffice, but if writing a few less letters than I used to is what it takes to actually correspond with you, then I’ll take it. Or maybe I’ll still write a letter everyday, and I’ll just give them to the owl all at once whenever he returns. The poor thing will probably be running letters between us for the rest of his life.

But above everything else that I’m feeling right now, I’m just really glad that you’re okay. I’m sorry that my disappearance made it more difficult for you to recover, but in the end, you were able to pull through. I’m not sure what I would have done with myself if I discovered that you had… well… died because of me.

Yours always,

Sophie


	36. Letter 45 (Monday)

Dear Jessie,

We all went on another group trip to Hogsmeade yesterday, and it was great. When we were standing outside one of the shops, I just happened to find a pouch with several galleons in it. But I know that Harry must have dropped it there for me on purpose. 

With the money, I was able to buy new robes, so I can finally have clothes that fit me, and more than one pair, at that. Unfortunately, there’s no wand shops around here, so I’ll just have to talk to the headmaster about that. I mean, I understand why they were wary of giving me a wand in the beginning, but I think that I’ve proved my reliability at this point, and besides, I really want my own wand.

But maybe not having a wand of my own isn’t always a bad thing. We were out on the bluffs, just doing silly little things, and Neville must have noticed how left out I felt, because he started to hand over his wand, along with an offer to let me borrow it. Apparently you can still use wands, even if they don’t actually belong to you, it just won’t feel right, and it won’t work quite as well.

But Hermione beat Neville to the punch, and she offered to let me use hers, for just a few minutes. Then Luna told Harry to show off, by doing this thing called the patronus charm. I don’t totally understand, but I know that it makes a different little animal for everyone, and I think it’s supposed to ward off evil, or something. Harry was hesitant, so Luna did hers, which is an adorable little rabbit, by the way.

Harry relented after that, and he did his, which was a cool stag. Hermione’s was an otter. I’m not sure if there’s supposed to symbolism behind these or not, but I know that Neville got an awkward look during all of this, and he mumbled something that no one could quite make out. Hermione whispered to me that Neville doesn’t have a corporeal patronus.

Then she suggested that I try. We’ve learned a little about them in class, but not enough for me to be able to do much. Harry told me that I had to focus on a happy memory, but I couldn’t really think of anything specific. Finally, I decided to concentrate on my eleventh birthday party. I doubt you even remember it at this point, but it was one of the greatest days of my entire life. But even fueled by that happy memory, I found myself unable to do the charm.

Hermione told me that it’s okay, and it took the rest of them, other than Harry, a very long time to master the complicated spell. That did make me feel a little bit better. But I wouldn’t find it unbelievable to think that I’m just incapable of making a patronus. It would be something else to add to the list of reasons why I’m defective.

Anyways, once it started getting dark out, we headed back to the castle, and we all went our separate ways. Well, I headed back to the dungeons, but the others were all pretty much going in the same direction as each other. 

I think that maybe I’m going to look into that prophecy thing after all. Harry’s been such a great friend, I would feel just terrible if something bad happened to him when I could have done something to stop it. I’ll try talking to the professor tomorrow.

Yours always, 

Sophie


	37. Letter 46 (Tuesday)

Dear Jessie,

So I went looking further into this prophecy. I thought that, obviously, Trelawney herself would be the best place to begin. But all that happened is she politely asked me to leave her office, since I’m no longer a member of her class. Then I decided to talk to Snape. As much as I may dislike the guy (and believe me, I have no doubts that the feeling’s mutual), I do believe that he is the only person around here who cares one lick about what happens to me. 

So I went to him, and I only had a chance to get out a few words, because as soon as he heard the words ‘Trelawney’, ‘prophecy’, and ‘creepy as all hell’, he grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me down to Dumbledore's office. The headmaster was sitting behind his desk, and he gestured for me to take a seat. He glanced at Snape. ‘What’s this all about?’

Snape looked at me. ‘She says that she heard Sybill tell her a prophecy.’

Dumbledore tilted his head. ‘I am already aware of the situation with the prophecy. Me and Sophie discussed it last week.’

Snape’s eyes widened, and I almost want to say that he looked hurt at not being in the loop. I wonder what the deal with that is. Dumbledore looked at me with raised eyebrows, and I couldn’t help that my voice came out sounding so defensive. ‘Hey, you never said that I’m not allowed to tell other people about this prophecy. I was just curious to find out more about it. I mean, it seems to be a real prophecy, even though Trelawney is just a charlatan.’

The headmaster sighed. ‘Sophie, these matters are rather complicated, and rather delicate. If the wrong people were to overhear this prophecy, it would cause a lot of trouble for everyone.’

I sighed. ‘I figured that much. But Harry’s my friend, and I don’t want to see him get hurt or join the dark side or whatever if there’s any way around that. I just thought that the best way to know for sure would be to find out more about the prophecy.’

Dumbledore sighed. ‘Sophie, I think it would be best if you don’t mention this prophecy to anyone else. And I promise that, in exchange… you can get your own wand.’

Snape’s look of surprise at that mirrored my own. I wanted to say no, because anything else I could find out about this prophecy would be useful… but I know that I’ll also be useful if I actually have a way to channel my magic. So I agreed, and Dumbledore said that he’ll bring me to get a wand this weekend himself. I hope that you’re not disappointed, but I can finally have a wand… and that, along with my new clothes, will maybe finally let me fit in, which is what I want so badly.

Yours always,

Sophie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Selling out for a wand... but who can really blame the kid? it must be really awkward to be the only student in Hogwarts without one...


	38. Letter 47 (Saturday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of update last week. There was a bad nor'easter in my area, and we had no power Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

Dear Jessie,

I was surprised to learn that even though no one else is allowed to apparate or disapparate (pretty much teleportation- and how frickin cool is that??!!) on school grounds, Dumbledore is. I thought I was going to be sick from that feeling of being all twisted up inside. Luckily, I managed to hold in the contents of my stomach, though, and I was able to preserve my dignity.

He brought me to Hogsmeade, even though I could have sworn that there was no place to buy wands, or anything of that sort, there.

It turns out that there’s an entire shop dedicated to wands there, called Ollivander’s, and the headmaster led me inside. He spoke at length with the owner, then said he would wait outside. The owner handed me a wand and asked me to try it out. I gave it a few good waves, but nothing happened.

The shop owner just smiled at me, and said not to get discouraged. ‘The wand chooses the wizard, dear, and you cannot rush such a beautiful union’. So he handed me the next one. Before I even touched it, I felt nauseous, and I literally threw the box back at the man.

He gave me a contemplative look, and pulled another off the shelf. I tried it, but again, nothing happened. He took it back, and filed it away. There was a ding coming from up front as another customer entered the shop. The owner, who looked like he couldn’t be more than twenty-five, told me to stand in front of the shelves of wands, and wait for one of them to call to me while he took an important meeting.

So I stood in front of the wall of wands, and the shop was dead silent. I closed my eyes, and tried to empty my mind of everything except finally finding my wand. Once I did that, I felt a curious tugging feeling, like someone was pulling gently on the sleeve of my robe.

I decided to follow the feeling, thinking that it would lead me to my wand. Well, I wasn’t wrong, exactly. Or at least, I don’t think I was. But the tugging feeling led me outside of the shop, and over to Dumbledore, who was casually leaning against the side of the building and sucking on a lollipop.

He smiled at me. ‘So you’ve found your wand?’

I shrugged. I’ve never been told what it feels like to find the right wand, so I couldn’t be certain that that’s what I was experiencing. ‘I’m not really sure. That cashier in there told me to close my eyes and feel for it, and I felt a strange tugging pulling me out here towards you’. A moment later, the guy from the shop hurried outside, and looked around wildly until he spotted me. I think he was afraid of what Dumbledore would do if he lost track of me.

The man frowned. ‘None of the wands in there were the right one?’

‘I don’t think. I tried to concentrate on finding my wand, just like you said, and I felt like I was supposed to come out here. But I don’t see any spare wands lying around’.

The man glanced around quickly, almost like he was trying to spot a wand somewhere. He sighed. ‘I’m sorry that you couldn’t find the right wand for you. You should try looking around in other shops. There’s more Ollivander’s around too. Maybe try the one in Diagon Alley?’

I peered up at the headmaster, but he didn’t indicate whether or not we were going to try anything else. I tried to look as pleading as possible, but I guess it’s a bit tougher to get sympathy when you’re a murderer.

Anyways, he took my arm and brought me back to Hogwarts. He said we’ll try again tomorrow, so here’s hoping. 

Yours always,

Sophie


	39. Letter 48 (Sunday)

Dear Jessie,

At least I know that Dumbledore doesn’t back out of his promises, since that would be totally rude of him to do. I went down to his office after breakfast, and he was already there waiting for me. He said that we were going to keep trying until we find my wand, and I desperately wanted that to be true. I mean, the man’s the headmaster of the entire school, and he has an entire school of students to look after, not just me. Still, it’s nice that he has found time to try and help me. 

So we went to the place called Diagon Alley, and I have to say, I was pretty disappointed. The whole place looked trashed, and there were more abandoned shops than anything else. The street itself was dirty and full of trash. In fact, there was only one building that looked remotely lived in, with a giant figure lifting a hat off his head over and over.

Dumbledore steered me away from there, and brought me to Ollivander’s, which was apparently shut down. Well, the entire place was boarded up, making it obvious that it was not open for business. At least this one building of the franchise was. I wondered why anyone would ever think it’s safe to bring their children here to buy their first wands, but I guess I’ve just learned by now that wizards and witches can be pretty eccentric.

So that place was a bust. Too bad. But then I felt that strange tugging feeling in me again, and before I knew what I was doing, I was pressed right up next to Dumbledore. He looked down at me in what seemed to be amusement. ‘I can assure you that you’re perfectly safe even if you stray a few inches from my side’.

I quickly stepped back, thoroughly embarrassed. I sighed loudly, and when the headmaster raised one eyebrow, I just shrugged. ‘I don’t really understand what’s going on. That weird tugging feeling, I had assumed that it was trying to lead me to my proper wand, but all that keeps happening is that it leads me to you. Is this normal?’

Dumbledore chuckled. ‘I’m pretty sure that there’s nothing normal about your situation, even among wizards. But I’ll look into it. We’ll find you your wand eventually, I promise. For now, we should return to Hogwarts.”

I frowned. ‘But we haven’t even been gone for an hour yet. There’s got to be someplace else we can search, right?’

The headmaster nodded. ‘Of course. There are many wand shops around here… What are you doing?’

I pulled back immediately when I realized that my hand had been in his pocket. I groaned. ‘I’m so sorry! I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I promise I’ll stop acting so weird, so please don’t expel me!’

He shook his head. ‘I’m not going to expel you, I’m simply curious. You said that you keep being led to me when you try and focus on finding your wand, and then you find yourself subconsciously trying to pickpocket me. I do believe I know what’s going on. By some strange mistake, you seem to be under the impression that my wand is yours’.

That made sense, I guess. ‘Then what am I going to do? If my stupid instincts just keep leading me back to your wand, then how am I ever going to find my real wand?’

Dumbledore said he would look into it, and he brought us back to Hogwarts. Well, Jessie, almost two months at this place, and I still show no signs of ever becoming a regular witch. What the heck is wrong with me?

Yours always,

Sophie


	40. Letter 49 (Monday)

Dear Jessie,

I was so hyped up during all of my classes today, but no matter how many times I raised my hand, I was completely ignored. I’d say that this place almost deserves a spot in the American public schooling, since it sucks about that much, but that would be rather ignorant of me, seeing as I’m the only one who appears to be treated in this way. Teachers can be such jerks sometimes.

Anyways, as soon as my last class was finished, I was out the door like a shot, and no one stopped me. To be honest, I’ve actually left in the middle of class before, and no one’s stopped me. You’d think that at least one of the more strict professors, like McGonagall or Snape, would do something to keep me in class, but I guess that they’re just as scared of me as everyone else.

I know you said that you forgive me Jessie, but it’s just so hard to believe that that could ever be possible. How could anyone ever tell me that they forgive me when I have full grown witches and wizards running as far away as possible to avoid me? And other than that one incident back at the beginning of my stay here, I haven’t used any accidental magic. I guess there really is something to it when they keep saying that learning it in theory is pretty much as good as learning how to actually apply it. I’ve learned to control my magic, I think, which is a good thing.

But despite that, people are still scared. The students aren’t quite as bad, since they don’t really know about the circumstances that brought me here in the first place. But I know that all of the teachers know exactly what happened. Maybe they got smart enough to pick up a muggle paper and see the front page news about the explosion that injured hundreds. 

That’s the kind of thing that’s not exactly easy to miss.

Anyways, after class, I went back to the Slytherin common room. There was no one else there, and it wasn’t until my stomach rumbled that I realized it was lunchtime. No wonder there was no one else around. 

I got bored just lounging around, and there was no point in doing any homework. If there’s one good thing to come out of me being a complete freak, even here, it’s probably that my teachers are too afraid to fail me, or something. I could probably even skip class entirely, and still pass. They probably just want me out so they don’t have to have me again next year. But I’m not going to actually skip class, because I do want to learn. This stuff is all so interesting.

Well, since I was bored, I headed down to the kitchens. The food was always prepared before meals, so I thought that I could help them start on dinner. Those poor things really don’t do anything besides cook and clean up after slobby students all day. No wonder Hermione was so passionate about advocating for their rights.

When I arrived, I was offered a full plate by one of the house elves, who somehow must have known that I wasn’t at lunch. Either that, or they always had extra plates set aside just in case. 

I worked in there for a while, until there was really not much else to do, and then I wandered back to the common room. Well, that’s obviously where I am right now. I hope I can get my wand soon, and I hope that I’ll eventually be as ‘normal’ as anyone else around here.

Yours always,

Sophie


	41. Letter 50 (Tuesday)

Dear Jessie,

Today, I was running around the school, trying to think of something to do. It can get so boring here sometimes. I think that that’s mostly why you would absolutely hate it so much. As fascinating as everything around here is, it still gets lonely a lot more than maybe it should be around here.

I thought that maybe I could get Hermione to agree to a study session with me. I know she takes grades, hers and everyone else’s, more seriously than most things. If there’s anything more important to her than house elf rights, it would have to be grades. So I was pacing back and forth up on the seventh floor, since that’s where the Gryffindor common room was. 

The next thing I know, there’s suddenly a door in the wall, just casually there. It hadn’t been there before, I swear, it just appeared out of nowhere. Well, I was certain that this strange school wouldn’t present me with a hidden door like this if I wasn’t supposed to look inside.

So I opened the door and stepped in, and that place was even messier than your room, Jessie, as impossible as that sounds. There were things stacked everywhere, everything imaginable, really. A lot of that stuff looked like it could be contraband, or something.

The random crap was piled up so high that it was impossible to see around everything, so I began wandering around like it was some kind of grotesque version of a corn maze. 

After a few minutes of just randomly wandering around, I thought that I heard something, or maybe some kind of monster lurking around and feeding off of the mess. It was pretty scary, I’ll admit, but I was also very curious, so I decided to investigate, and see if I could find the source of the noise.

I managed to eventually find the source, and you’ll never guess what it was. It was that prat, Malfoy, and he was busy tinkering with some cabinet or something. I don’t really know what that was about. All I knew was that getting caught spying on him would not end very well for me. 

That’s when I decided to make a run for it, and it’s really a bloody miracle that I didn’t accidentally knock over any stacks and find myself buried in all of that useless junk. I managed to find the door, and I slammed it shut behind me. Then when I realized that he could probably hear the door slamming shut, I booked it out of there, running all the way back to my dorm room, where I’m currently hanging out under my bed. 

This day hasn’t been my most exciting one at this school, but I can say with certainty that I absolutely do not wish to repeat that. It was really all too terrifying. I’m still breathing heavily right now, and it’s honestly surprising that I’m able to write any of this out properly with my hand shaking so much.

Anyways, that’s really all that’s happened today, but it was definitely enough. You should be grateful that you’re not stuck here the way I am.

Yours always,

Sophie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from my little sister- lmao 'even messier than your room' Sophie really knows how to treat her friends right


	42. Letter 51 (Wednesday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, as someone who can't even remember what he ate for breakfast, I applaud Sophie for her ability to remember conversations she has throughout the day word for word.

Dear Jessie,

As completely freaked out as I was yesterday, I knew that I had to go on acting like normal, lest Malfoy realize that I had accidentally been spying on him yesterday. But this morning, I waited until everyone else had left to go to their first classes, and then I went up to the hallway on the seventh floor. I was curious.

What had Malfoy been doing in there? I was eager to know for sure. If I were to discover anything particularly nefarious, then I would be able to hold it over Malfoy’s head, and get him to be a nicer person to my friends. 

But when I got up there, the door was no longer anywhere to be found. I decided to try and replicate whatever I had done yesterday. So I began pacing up and down the long corridor, and after three repetitions, the door swung open for me. I went inside, and couldn’t help feeling confused. 

Rather than that maze full of old junk, there was just a nice simple bedroom. There was a comfy chair, a little dresser, a closet, a small desk, and a bed that was way more comfortable than the ones in the dorms. I thought it was a bit weird at first, but then again, when you consider the magic of this place, it’s easy to just ignore the weirder things that happen. 

Anyways, I thought that the room was actually pretty perfect. There was no one else in there to bother me, and it was an entire space that felt like it belonged entirely to me. I decided to lounge around for a while, simply because I knew that I could.

After a bit, probably no more than two hours, then door swung open, and to my surprise, none other than Malfoy walked in. I was standing right there, certain that he would spot me and be angry that I had changed the room.

Instead, he walked right past me, as if I wasn’t even there. He made a few strange turns as he walked through the room, and stopped near the far wall. He pulled out his wand, and began muttering spells under his breath.

I couldn’t help feeling like that was all just a bit odd. I took a few steps forward, and he suddenly turned around, his wand raised dangerously. ‘Who’s there?’ he shouted. 

He was looking straight at me, so the question seemed a bit odd. I couldn’t help laughing at the ridiculous look on his face, and suddenly there was a bolt of magic shooting towards me. 

It took my slow reflexes a moment to realize that I needed to dive out of the way, and by the time I moved, it was too late. The magic mostly missed me, but it did scrape along the top of my shoulder. It burned right through my shirt, and then a bit of my skin as well. When I looked down, I could see thin rivulets of blood. That’s when I felt a tightness in the pit of my stomach, like a ball of warmth that was quickly building. I knew instinctively that that was magic.

Malfoy was stalking towards me, occasionally swerving to the side, like he was ducking away from something I couldn’t see. Maybe he really was. After a few minutes of me scooching back as far as possible until I hit the wall, he stopped right in front of me, staring down like he hadn’t spotted me before.

He pointed his wand at me. ‘What the bloody hell are you doing in here?’

I clenched my teeth together, trying to hold in my magic. ‘Why did you attack me?’

Malfoy had the decency to look guilty about that. He sighed, and crouched down next to me, whispering a quick healing spell. The wound on my shoulder closed up, and with that pain gone, it was easier to push that ball of warmth away. ‘Were you following me?’

I shook my head. ‘I was in here before you. I didn’t think you were going to show up. Sorry for disrupting your sanctuary, or whatever’.

He shrugged. ‘Whatever. Though you should probably leave now. Get Madam Pomfrey to look at your shoulder just to be on the safe side’.

I raised one eyebrow. ‘What, no apology? Or is that too far out of your skill set?’

Malfoy frowned. ‘Don’t push your luck. Now get out of here’.

Who was I to disagree with that logic? So I got to my feet, and hurried out of the room, still not entirely sure what purpose it was meant to serve. My shoulder felt just fine, so rather than going to see the nurse, I returned to the dorms. I’ll have to investigate into this matter further at another time.

Yours always,

Sophie


	43. Letter 52 (Thursday)

Dear Jessie, 

I decided to actually go to class today. Well, just one of them. And only for a little bit. It’s probably worse than if I had just skipped entirely, but I was interested in finding out more about that room on the seventh floor. The one that could change at will, and hide people who are standing right in front of other people.

So I decided that it could be to my benefit to attend at least a little bit of my History of Magic class. I’m sure that no one else will mind if I’m busy distracting the professor with all of my questions, since they all seem to think it’s one of the most boring classes.

I’ve always loved history, though. It’s not hard, when so many fascinating things happened in the past. The majority of things that we learn about in school are just whatever, but most of history seems more like a fictional novel than something that really happened, you know what I mean?

Anyways, I went to class. Flitwick, the professor, seemed uneasy with my presence, but that’s something I’m used to at this point. Whenever I do occasionally decide to show up, the teachers don’t exactly roll out a red carpet and cheer me on for wanting to further my academic career.

I walked straight over to him, since I wasn’t sure where I would sit even if I thought that that would be a smart idea, and he subconsciously took a few steps back. I think that Hogwarts needs to give its teachers more sensitivity training. I know that what I did must have really scared them, but that was almost two months ago now, and I feel that I’ve already made so much progress in the controlling my magic department.

I cleared my throat, forcing him to look up at me. ‘Ah, Miss Sophie. Is there something I can assist you with?’

I nodded eagerly. ‘Actually, yes there is. I was wondering if you know anything about that weird room on the seventh floor?’

Flitwick raised one bushy eyebrow. ‘I believe that there are “weird” rooms on every floor, and several of them at that. You’ll need to be more specific’.

‘Alright. Well, the first time I went inside, it seemed to be a giant maze filled with more junk that you could ever possibly imagine, but the second time I went in, it was just a nice little bedroom’.

Flitwick shook his head apologetically. ‘I’m afraid I don’t know anything about the room you are speaking about. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help’.

I sighed. ‘No, it’s fine. It’s not your fault. I think I’ll just be on my way now’.

Flitwick nodded, appearing relieved at the thought that I was going to leave. Way to make the students feel welcome in class, but whatever. Then again, judging by all of the unfamiliar faces in the classroom, I don’t think it was actually one of my classes anyways. On the other hand, I just might not have recognized anyone because I so rarely attend.

That thought that it was the wrong class though was confirmed when Neville stood up, and grabbed my arm. He pulled me out into the hallway, even though that had been where I was headed already. The hallway was empty, as classes had already started. I hope Neville didn’t get in too much trouble for just leaving.

He looked at me seriously. ‘I know what room you’re talking about. It’s called the Room of Requirement. And before you ask, the others in our friend group know about it too. Last year, there was a lot of bad stuff going on, and we had a rotten professor who refused to actually teach us, so a bunch of us got the idea to teach ourselves. Well, more accurately, to have Harry teach us, since he had much more real world experience than the rest of us. How did you find the room?’

‘I was just pacing around, and then suddenly, there it was. But I was curious, so I went back to investigate, and it was like an entirely different room. I wasn’t sure what to think of that’.

Neville shrugged. ‘Well, the room isn’t dangerous or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s just supposed to present you with what you need from it the most’. He looked at me with curiosity, I think. ‘Do you know anything about last year’s events?’

I shook my head. ‘I’m not from around here. I’m an American, remember?’

He laughed at that. ‘Well, I’ve got to get back to class. I just thought that you should know about the room if you wanted to know. There’s already a ton of other kids who know about it, so it’s not really the big secret that it used to be. Anyways, I’ll talk to you later’.

So he left, and I returned to the dorms, which I had to myself. So, there’s what I was able to learn about the room. I wonder why Draco wanted it to be a whole bunch of junk stacks, which seem like they could topple over at any moment. 

Well, that’s all for today.

Yours always,

Sophie


	44. Letter 53 (Friday)

Dear Jessie,

Today I decided that I wanted to know for sure what Draco was up to. It’s not like I was planning on confronting him or anything, since I still feel horrible for sending him to the infirmary for so long, even if he doesn’t know that that was me. A lot of my friends like to mention how evil he is, but I don’t think that’s true. I think that they have some kind of weird bias against the Slytherin house, which makes it even stranger that they would like me.

Anyways, I decided that the best course of action would be to follow him (I know, I know, I’m not the smartest person around. That’s why I really need you, because you would have stopped me from doing stupid stuff like that. Oh well). 

But as I was following him, I got this really weird feeling, like I was being watched. It totally creeped me out, and I wasn’t sure what the proper response was supposed to be. So as I was sneaking down a corridor, I came to a sudden stop, flinging my elbow back, and to my surprise, it actually connected with something solid, and I could hear the pained, ‘Oof!’ of surprise.

That’s when I turned around, and saw no one behind me. It was at that point that I was starting to get really freaked out. I know for sure that I had just hit somebody, and I hadn’t heard any footsteps running away, or even walking away or anything, so there was absolutely nothing I could think of that would properly explain why the hell the hallway behind me was so empty.

Then I saw it, wavering in front of me. It was just the slightest shimmer in the air, like when you see all of those heat waves on a really hot day, it looked pretty much like that. I put my hands on my hips, and looked directly at that shimmering spot, since that was my biggest clue about whoever was there. I tried to speak in my most authoritative voice (and before you start laughing at me, you should know that I’ve learned how to sound a lot more authoritative since we’ve last spoken, I swear).

‘I know that you’re there. The only question is why you were following me’. For a moment, there was no sound, and I almost thought I was wrong. But then I realized that it should be fairly easy to figure out. I took a deep breath, then held it, and when I listened closely, I could still hear the faint sounds of breathing.

There was a grumble, and I couldn’t quite make out what was said. Then, I will admit that I jumped back in surprise when suddenly Harry was standing there, looking straight at me. He looked at me with some confusion. ‘How did you know I was there?’

I shrugged. ‘I could feel someone watching me, I could see the air shimmer a little differently than normal, and I could hear breathing even when I held my breath. But how did you do that? I didn’t know there were spells for turning invisible’.

He sighed, and held up a shimmery looking cloak. ‘It wasn’t a spell, it was this. And in my defense, I wasn’t following you, I was following Malfoy’.

It took my brain a moment to remember that Draco’s last name was Malfoy, and I couldn’t help finding it utterly strange to call someone of the same age by only their last name. ‘Why were you following him?’

He raised one eyebrow. ‘I could easily ask you the same thing’.

That was a fair point, and besides, it’s not like I was following him so that I could hex him or do anything bad to him. ‘I was just curious. I wanted to know what he was…’ it then occurred to me that Draco didn’t want people knowing his business, because otherwise he wouldn’t be conducting it in a magically concealed room. I had to think of something, fast, and you know how well I improvise. ‘I wanted to know what he does to get so many girls’.

Harry frowned in confusion. ‘What?’

I shrugged, trying to look casual. ‘You know, in Slytherin there’s always girls lined up around the block to be with him, and I wanted to know his secrets’.

‘Why?’

I figured that like most things, lies worked best with a bit of truth mixed in them. I spoke in a softer voice so Harry would know that I’m serious. ‘Because I want to know how to get Hermione to like me’.

Harry’s eyes widened. ‘Woah, I didn’t know you were, well. Hermione, though? I don’t think that she’s, uh, well, you know. Sorry’.

I shrugged, then looked at him pleadingly. ‘Please, don’t tell anyone. I still need time to work myself up before I can act on my feelings, and I don’t know how I would react if everyone already knew’.

Harry nodded. ‘Alright, I won’t tell’. Then he glanced past me, and realized that Draco was already long gone. ‘Anyways, I’ll just be heading back to my room now. I’ll talk to you later, okay?’

I nodded, and watched him walk away, then hurried back to the dorms. I can always chase down Draco another day.

Yours always,

Sophie


	45. Letter 54 (Saturday)

Dear Jessie, 

So apparently when I said that I would be able to chase down Draco another day, the universe interpreted that as the very next day. Well, I chased him down. I mean, it wasn’t really that hard considering the fact that I already know where he goes in his free time, and presumably Harry does not.

But since Draco clearly wanted to keep this all a secret, and I’d even gone and outed myself yesterday just for the sake of Draco’s secret, I figured that it would be a complete waste if I foolishly led Harry straight to the magical room. The Room of Requirements, I mean. 

So I decided to just head to the Room of Requirements by myself, and it was actually pretty easy to lose Harry in the crowd of people that filled the hallways up. It’s Saturday, so it’s not like anyone has to be cramped up in their stuffy old classrooms (The classrooms that I, too, should technically be cramped up in, but am not due to a technicality. Technically, the teachers are too afraid of me to try and force me to go to class).

I got into the room easily enough, but unfortunately, it was not the junk room that Draco wanted to be in every time he visited. In fact, oddly enough, the room looks just like your bedroom from back home. Well, that’s actually just me assuming things now. You probably had your entire house redecorated so that there wouldn’t be any more reminders of me lying around.

I couldn’t think of anything in particular that I needed to get done in a room that looked identical to yours. Because the room wasn’t smart enough to make you appear in it as well. I’m not sure if the room is completely incapable of spawning living things, or if you just live too far away, or what. But the point is, that the only usefulness your bedroom could have would be if it contained you in it so that I could actually talk to you and not just write you a whole bunch of stupid letters. 

But I digress. Back to the point. I figured, since Professor Snape is the head of the Slytherin house, he would be the most likely person to know anything about Draco. So without really thinking it all through, I went to go see him. 

He was sitting behind his desk in his big creepy office that really looked more like it should belong to a potions teacher, not a defense against the dark arts teacher. But then again, how much do I really know about this world? I cleared my throat, and I think that he could see how awkward I felt just standing there.

I guess he decided to take pity on me because he raised one eyebrow and spoke. ‘Is there something I can help you with?’ 

I sighed, and moved to sit down in the seat across from him, even though he hadn’t even given me permission to enter his office, let alone sit down in one of his chairs. ‘Actually, yes there is. I was just wondering how much you know about Draco Malfoy?’

Snape looked at me with a blank face, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. After a minute of uncomfortable silence, it seemed to sink in that I didn’t have anything else to say yet, and Snape sighed. ‘Is there a particular reason you’re asking me this?’ Then a look crossed his face like he’d just eaten a lemon head. ‘Do you… fancy him?’

I blinked a few times, and I’ll admit, it did take me a moment to actually understand what he had just said. That’s when I tried to make sure that I looked as disgusted as possible. ‘Ew- no!’ I’m really glad that I didn’t blush or anything, because that might have made Snape think that I was lying. I shook my head again, just for good measure. I cleared my throat. ‘Uh, no. I mean, I don’t swing that way’. I looked up at the professor challengingly, but he didn’t seem to be in the mood to spar with a teenager. Which is perfectly understandable, because most of the time even I, a teenager, am not in the mood to spar with other teens. 

Anyways, he looked immensely relieved for a moment, before he carefully hid away all of his emotions again. What a weirdo. ‘So why are you inquiring about Draco Malfoy?’

I shrugged, trying to seem casual. If I didn’t want to give away Draco’s secret to a friend, then there was no way I would give it away to this guy (his hair is a complete nightmare, but I think if I offered to wash and style it I would get in a lot of trouble). ‘I was just wondering a few things about him’. I made a quick decision. I wouldn’t have to say everything, but just enough to get the information. ‘What do you think he would see if Draco went into the Room of Requirements?’

Snape gave me a cold, hard stare. ‘I think you should be on your way now. If you wish to learn more about Draco, you should ask him yourself. Now if you’d kindly get out of my office, I have important work to be getting back to’.

I nodded and hurried out of there. The professors might not come after me for skipping their classes and their homework and their exams because they are afraid of me, but that doesn’t mean I’m not afraid to get on Snape’s bad side. That’s when I came back up to my dorm room, and, well, here I am. I must investigate into all of this further, but right now my stomach’s grumbling and I’m just going to go grab some lunch.

Yours always,

Sophie


	46. Letter 55 (Sunday)

Dear Jessie,

I tracked down Draco again today. Honestly, at this point I’m beginning to suspect that he’s not even trying to make it challenging to find him at any given moment. And I know that I’m not the only one who feels that way, because I’m pretty sure that Harry’s been stalking him around all day too.

Anyways, I decided to take what Snape said to heart. If I really wanted to know what Draco sees when he’s in the Room of Requirement, then I need to be able to have the courage to ask him myself. After all, I know for sure that I wouldn’t appreciate it if people were always going around behind my back to ask other people questions about me.

Of course, as expected, Draco didn’t seem particularly keen on the idea of talking to me about the Room of Requirement. So I decided that it was time to do that thing that you always used to get so mad at me for doing. You know, the thing where I just act super annoying and clingy until it gets to the point that you can’t stand it anymore and you say that you’ll give me anything if I just leave you alone? Well, I walked down the hall, hands sweating nervously, as I thought about the fact that Draco might not even be capable of feeling uncomfortable.

As I walked down the hall, I ended up bumping into someone entirely different than Draco Malfoy, though I will admit that it was not an unpleasant surprise. There was Hermione, her hair hanging by her head in damp curls. She must have just gotten out of the showers, or something.

She smiled when she spotted me, and began crossing the hall. I patiently stopped walking so that she could catch up, completely forgetting about my mission to interrogate Draco. I smiled back, because seeing her bright face really did make my day fell a lot better, no matter what else had happened.

‘Oh, hey Sophie. What are you up to, staying indoors on such a lovely day?’

I shrugged. ‘I could very well ask you the same thing. Then again, I probably already know the answer. Studying again, right?’

Hermione shrugged. ‘I don’t know if you should really say that it’s studying again, when as far as I’m concerned, the studying never ends’.

I laughed at that. ‘My my, did I hear correctly? Hermione Granger making a joke about studying? I mean, it wasn’t really the funniest thing I’ve ever heard, I’ll promise you that much, but I guarantee that if you keep it up with the super dumb jokes, the guys will be falling all over you in no time’.

She shrugged again, her face looking less bright. ‘I came here to study and learn, not to date’.

And if you’re imagining right now that I didn’t exactly like to hear that, then you are absolutely correct. But I wasn’t going to let her know, since it’s not like I had any right to make a claim on her time, or anything like that. So instead, I made awkward excuses, and hurried away.

I know, I know. Real smooth of me, huh? I’d like to say that I just didn’t have my head in the game since I’m too distracted by all of the… everything else going on around here lately, but I know that’s not true. I know it’s not true because the moment I see Hermione, everything else fades away, and she becomes the only thing that’s important.

Ugh, you’re probably berating me for my cowardice, and inability to remain friends with someone who doesn’t reciprocate my feelings. You wouldn’t be entirely wrong in that regard, since I am afraid to lose people and be rejected. But who’s not? The truth is, Jessie, that this is exactly why I avoided you so much in the summer of eighth grade. Because I accidentally developed a crush on my best friend, and I didn’t know how to face you. Those feelings are all gone now, which is how we were able to remain friends, but I have no idea how all of this is going to work out with Hermione. I guess that I’ll just have to wait and see.

Yours always,

Sophie


	47. Letter 56 (later that Sunday)

Dear Jessie,

I know, it’s weird, but yes, I am writing you another letter when I already wrote one earlier. Not that I suspect that this batch will be magically transported to you like the first one was, but I feel like it’s something that I should apologize for anyways.

Anyways, the reason that I felt like I needed to write you a second letter is because I’ve gotten further in the mysterious case of ‘what makes Draco Malfoy tick’. Believe me, there’s some pretty interesting stuff going on with that. 

I didn’t even have to follow him this time, I just sort of bumped into him in the common room. He gave me a strange look, and then sat down on the couch in front of the fireplace like he owned. Actually, he might. His family is pretty filthy rich. So not the point, though. The point is that I decided to sit down on the couch next to his chair and sort of awkwardly stare at him for a while without saying anything. That’s how I discovered that even Draco Malfoy is capable of growing uncomfortable. After a while, he snapped at me, ‘Do you have to just keep staring at me like some kind of creep? What do you want from me?’

I shrugged in response to that, and had to take a moment to think about how I wanted to phrase everything so that it wouldn’t sound like I was attacking him or coming onto him, both equal possibilities when it comes to the weird ways that other people can interpret things.

Finally, I came up with an answer that I thought would be sufficient, ‘Okay, so I know that this is probably going to sound pretty weird, but I was just wondering what you see when you go into the Room of Requirement,”

Apparently that answer was not sufficient at all. It was like the opposite of sufficient. Draco immediately tensed up, and was gripping the arms of the chair he was sitting in so hard that his knuckles were even whiter than normal, as impossible as that seems. ‘I’m sure that I have no idea what you’re talking about,’

And as stupid as I can be sometimes, even I found that lie to be truly outrageous. ‘Seriously? I thought you were supposed to be good at lying, or something. Anyways, I already know that you go to the Room of Requirement sometimes,’ and when his guard went up, I knew I’d have to offer him something important if I wanted to be able to get him to trust me, ‘I know that you go there sometimes because I’ve seen you there before. But it was pretty damn obvious that you were not seeing the same things as me, and I was just curious as to what you actually see,’

Draco shrugged, and finally seemed to be relaxing back into his usual facade. ‘I’ll tell you, but only if you tell me what you see there first,’

So I figured that meant he really just wanted to play this all out as childishly as possible. And I was okay with going along with that. How else was I supposed to learn anything new about him? ‘I just saw the bedroom of an old friend,’ Draco didn’t seem very impressed by that answer. And it occurred to me, in that moment, that I had never talked about what happened to anyone. Not even Neville or Luna or Hermione. And no matter what you say to me, I’ve been living with some pretty horrible guilt. And here was Draco Malfoy, of all people. There must be a reason that my friends all call him evil. I don’t think they’re the types to be mean without a reason. Which means that he must’ve done bad things before, too. He must know what it feels like to always have to live with this overwhelming guilt. So without even thinking about it, I knew that I needed to tell someone, someone who wouldn’t judge me. And if that person was Draco, then so be it. I cleared my throat, and shifted around awkwardly. ‘I know that there’s a school of magic in America, which is where I’m from, in case you couldn’t tell by the accent. The reason I’m here is because the European Ministry of Magic had a faster response team,’ 

I was grateful that he didn’t interrupt, even when I stood up and began nervously pacing around. I think if he’d tried to say anything, I wouldn’t have been able to finish. And he really did seem to be listening. “I never knew that magic was real. There were no witches or wizards in my life. And you obviously know that people get their invitations to Hogwarts when they’re eleven. But I had never showed a single sign of magic in my life. Until two months ago. I was at my best friend’s house. And my accidental magic must’ve been tired of not being used, because it exploded out of me. Destroyed the entire block. I was rushed away before I could see the damage that I’d caused, but I’m not stupid,’

I slowly looked at Draco, and saw that he was patiently listening to me. He still didn’t say anything. I guess he somehow knew that there was one more bit that I needed to say. I couldn’t say it at a regular volume though, so he had to lean forward to hear my whispers. ‘People died. They died because of me. Which means that I killed them. I’m a murderer,’

Draco looked shocked by that, but he managed to make his face blank again pretty quickly. He also spoke in a quiet voice. ‘How does that feel?’

There is really no way that one can sum up what it feels like to be a murderer. The choice between sleepless nights or horrible nightmares. The guilt. The fear that their families will come after you. The sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you think about the fact that those people will never again get to smile or laugh or cry and that it’s all on you. ‘It feels bad,’ And I think that that was enough for Draco to understand what I was trying to say.

We both sat there for a while, in front of the fireplace, not actually saying anything to each other. Once it was time for dinner, he told me to meet him in front of the Room of Requirements tomorrow night. I agreed, and while he went to the Great Hall, I just went to bed. Once I finish this letter, I’ve got the odd feeling that I might actually be able to sleep well tonight.

Yours always,

Sophie


	48. Letter 57 (Monday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you are with the next chapter. It’s a bit longer than usual because I couldn’t find any good places to break it, but I think that that’s okay. I could imagine Sophie writing a seven or eight page letter. Anyways, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy this (:

Dear Jessie,

I was right yesterday when I said that I suspected I’d finally get a good night of sleep. I think that telling my problems to someone other than you was actually a total relief, as terrifying as it was in the moment.

Anyways, all day, I think that Draco was avoiding me. I got really upset at first, thinking that it was because he couldn’t look a murderess in the eyes. When we were all hanging out after lunch, Hermione even asked me what was wrong. I didn’t tell her, of course. There’s like an unspoken rule in this group that Malfoy is evil and is not to be mentioned. Malfoy is clearly not a murderer, based on his scared look when he asked how it feels. And if they think of Malfoy as evil, then they’ll think that I’m ten times worse. So I said that I had a stomach ache. I’d feel bad about lying, but it’s not like that’s something I could ever explain to them.

So by the time I’d gotten through the day, I was shaking with a combination of anticipation and nervousness. I had no idea what Malfoy was going to have in store for me. I know that he never actually did get around to telling me what he sees in the room of requirement. I figured that maybe he was going to show me instead. Either that, or he was going to murder me and hide the body so that nobody would know his secret.

I found Malfoy waiting for me, leaning against the wall across from the tapestry. He looked so casual about it all, like it was everyday that he snuck out past curfew to hang out with someone he thought of as a little kid. Then again, for all I know this is exactly what he does every night. Who am I to question the eccentricities of Draco Malfoy?

He raised one eyebrow when he spotted me, and looked down on me in that super condescending way that he’s managed to perfect. ‘You’re late,’

‘You never gave me an exact time. You just told me to be here after everyone else went to bed. How was I supposed to be on time with that kind of information?’ When Draco just smirked, I knew that there was no point in arguing. ‘Fine, whatever. Now are we here so you can show me what you see in the room of requirement, or so that you can murder me? I’d like to know now so that I can run back to my dorm and write out my last will and testament if it’s the latter,’

Draco’s smirk only grew wider at that. Honestly, if I weren’t actually a Slytherin myself, I think that I’d probably take the advice of my friends when they say to keep away from him. But again, if they knew what I did to be here right now, then they’d probably be warning others to keep away from me too. It’s best not to burn bridges. Someday I may find that I’ve got no allies beyond Draco. Which will be a sad day indeed, but one that we all know is inevitable.

Draco laughed, and it sounded like an actual genuine laugh. Which was nice, since it sounded a lot friendlier than his usual ugly laughter. ‘I don’t think you’ll have to worry about writing up your will quite yet,” he didn’t move from his place by the wall. A few minutes later, he finally enacted the ritual to open the room, and we stepped inside. It was what looked like a pretty little indoor garden. He gestured for me to follow him. ‘Come on. You won’t learn anything out in the corridor,’

I followed him inside, and when he closed the door behind me, I could see right through it, like we were in a glass greenhouse. He walked over to a patch of daisies, and sank down to sit in front of them. I followed suite, and looked at him expectantly. ‘So this is what you see in the room of requirements?’

Draco shrugged. ‘Sometimes. It depends on what I’ve come here for. Right now, I want to have a friendly little chat,’

I gulped nervously. ‘You know, in the movies a friendly little chat always turns into some kind of fire fight or something, and I’m really not prepared to be slinging spells back and forth in an enchanted room with you,’

Draco’s eyes swiveled down for a moment, and then he looked back up with a bit of surprise. ‘Where’s your wand? Do you really trust anyone in this school enough to be going to secret late night meetings without any sort of protection?’ 

I shrugged. ‘It’s not like I willingly go to secret late night meetings without any protection. I mean, I willingly go to the meetings, it’s just not my choice to go unprotected. I don’t have a wand,’

To my delight, it finally looked like I’d thrown the older Slytherin off a little bit. He cleared his throat, clearly feeling a bit awkward. ‘Yeah, I think I remember someone mentioning that. What happened to it? And why haven’t you gotten a replacement yet?’

I had to shake my head, looking as disappointed as I felt. ‘I never even got a wand. I think that they were all too scared to see what would happen if I got a conduit for my magic. You know, since my magic is dangerous enough without an easy outlet,’

Draco shook his head in disgust, and I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. I thought that he was going to call off our meeting, but I was pleasantly surprised by what he had to say next. ‘Those bloody idiots. Not giving you a wand is just asking for your accidental magic to build up until it gets to the point where it needs to explode out again. I don’t know why they’d be so foolish,’

‘Well, I did make a deal with the headmaster that should result in me getting my very own wand. But I went to a couple of places, personally escorted by Professor Dumbledore himself, and I’ve yet to find a wand that wants to choose me. I think that I’m just defective. Either that or my wand is somewhere back in America, since that’s where I was born and raised,’

Draco looked interested, but not by the part about not being able to find a wand for myself. ‘What sort of deal did you make?’

Before I could even think about it, the words were coming out of my mouth. ‘Oh, nothing that important. He just asked me to keep some stupid prophecy a secret-’ My eyes widened a moment later. Whoops.

‘What sort of prophecy? You can tell me because we’re friends, right?’ I looked at Draco carefully, and I honestly didn’t see any signs of deception in his face. I don’t think he declared friendship between us solely for the sake of learning a secret. ‘Besides, you’ve already told me one important secret. What’s one more to add to the count?’

I sighed, but decided that he was right. And on top of that, the deal was that I would keep quiet if I got a wand, and yet, I’m still totally wandless. ‘“The Dark Lord will not be alone in his ventures. He has risen from his eternal grave, and will come to collect the one person who will either join him and guarantee his victory or fight him and guarantee his death. The child who was born at the death of July. A child whose magic was hidden throughout childhood. The child must be protected or feared, because only this one can determine the fate of the world.” I believe that those were her exact words. Though she also told me that my future is shrouded in darkness, so she’s clearly looney. Though even if she’s not, it’s not like it was really that difficult to figure out. It’s obviously about Harry, right? Harry Potter?’

Draco frowned thoughtfully. ‘It’s possible. But I don’t know. There’s no way that Potter would ever even consider joining You-Know-Who, so there shouldn’t even be any question of his loyalty. And Potter’s magic wasn’t hidden throughout childhood. He discovered it at the same age as any other muggle-raised wizard would,’ Draco’s eyes widened a bit. ‘Hey, when’s your birthday?’

I laughed awkwardly. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s obviously about Potter!’

‘Then why would you be the one to hear it? You said it yourself that you didn’t show even an ounce of magic throughout your entire childhood, until years after it’s normal. That should be considered some hidden magic right there. And if the prophecy sets it all up to be some kind of major choice, one that you haven’t made yet, then that would explain why your future is shrouded. And by the way, who’s the ‘she’ who shared this prophecy with you?’

I smiled like it was some kind of joke. In a way, I did think that it was all just some joke. ‘Professor Trelawney. If you’re going to take this seriously, then you’re going to have to admit that she’s not just some crazy old bat,’

Draco shrugged. ‘I’ve admitted to some weirder things. Besides, Dumbledore may be a total bastard, but he’s not stupid. He wouldn’t keep her around if she were really as useless as everyone believe her to be. And it’s not like she’s never gotten anything right before. Who knows? Maybe she’s a seer like her ancestor? But you still never answered my question. When’s your birthday?’

I frowned. I almost didn’t want to answer, which was, of course, a ridiculous notion. It’s not like saying my birthday out loud was suddenly going to start some great prophecy or apocalypse or something. So I shrugged. ‘August 1st,’

Draco nodded like I’d just gone and proved his point. ‘See? The first of August would mean that July is over. That July is dead,’ Draco jumped to his feet and began pacing back and forth like he couldn’t contain all of the nervous energy that was inside of him. ‘Which means that there is a very distinct possibility that you are going to join You-Know-Who and help him kill off all of his enemies and take over the whole world. Or whatever it is that he plans to do,’ 

I stood as well, shaking my head. ‘You clearly have no idea what you’re talking about. You’re insane. There’s no way I would ever side with that maniac. Is this really what you dragged me out here in the middle of the night to talk about?’

Draco hesitated, then shook his head. ‘No. But now I think that this is definitely much more important. If you really want to know then I see a junk room when I need it,’ then he mumbled some random things under his breath that I couldn’t quite hear. I didn’t like the shivers that ran up my spine.

‘You know what, I’m just going to go back to the dorms now. It’s getting really late, and I’m pretty tired. I’ll talk to you later, okay?’

Before I could leave, Draco reached out and grabbed one of my wrists. ‘Don’t be afraid. If this is your destiny, then you just have to embrace it,’

‘How could I possibly not be scared? You seem to be under the impression that I’m going to get all buddy-buddy with the guy who wants to bring an end to all muggles. That doesn’t sound like something that should be thought of as all fun and games, you know?’

Draco sighed. ‘He’s not all bad. Not always,’ he paused like he was debating whether or not he should actually say what was on his mind. I guess he decided that he should. ‘He makes it so that it doesn’t feel bad,’ 

That’s where he got me. I mean, how could I ever say that that isn’t something that I want? Of course I want to feel better. I’ve been feeling bad since the moment I woke up and figured out what happened. But that doesn’t mean that I’m just going to throw all my cards in with this guy. ‘I really am tired, Draco. We can talk about this later, okay?’

He nodded and released me. It wasn’t until I was back in bed that I realized that Draco hadn’t followed me back. I wondered if he was spending his night in the garden or in the junk room. Or if maybe he could find a nice little bedroom in that room of requirement. And then I remembered that I should probably write this all down before I forget. I know that I don’t forget very easily, but there’s no point in taking chances. So that was my day.

Yours always,

Sophie


	49. Letter 58 (Tuesday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve just been wondering a few things lately. Is it weird that Sophie is in a friendship with Draco? Should I have more letters from Jessie? I have another question too, which I’ll put at the end of this chapter

Dear Jessie,

Am I actually friends with Draco Malfoy, of all people? The prince of the Slytherin house? How did that even happen? And should I ever tell him about the fact that I’m the one who attacked him back when I first became a student here? 

This may seem a bit sudden, and for that, I do apologize. I was asking if we’re friends because I think that we were having girl talk earlier. And I’m not sure if that says more about me or him, honestly. He’s actually the one who tracked me down. It wasn’t that hard, he just had to skip class and wait in the common room for me to get up and at ‘em.

He motioned for me to sit down. ‘C’mon, it’s not like there’s anyone else around.’

I gulped, and sat down. ‘Hey, if this is about yesterday, then I can assure you that I didn’t tell anyone that you’re-’

Draco shook his head. ‘This has nothing to do with yesterday. It’s got more to do with you and me. I have to know: why do you hang around with those Gryffindors so often? You know that they probably only feel sorry for you, right?’

I nodded. ‘Yeah, sorry that you’re my only other friend choice. Now what’s this about?’

Draco smiled. ‘Well, if you’re not going to tell me why you hang out with those losers, then I’m going to tell you my theory,’

‘Please don’t,’

He grinned, and I’m happy to report that it was one of the few of his grins that were actually real. ‘My theory is that you only hang around with them so that you can eventually bugger Granger.’ He smiled with satisfaction.

I noticed that his satisfaction waned when I didn’t react to that statement. “I don’t want to bother her. I just like hanging around with her.’

Draco frowned. ‘No, I didn’t say bug her, I said bugger her.’

‘Oh,’ I shrugged. ‘What’s that supposed to mean, then?’

Draco slapped one hand across his forehead. I think he was frustrated, but I don’t think it’s fair of him to judge me just because I don’t understand every British sounding word that’s thrown my way. It’s not like I was born and raised in Europe. He sighed, and spoke slowly, like he was trying to explain something to a child. ‘Sex. It means that I think you only hang around with the Gryffindors because you want to have sex with Granger.’

I could feel my cheeks burning, and I just know that my whole face must’ve flushed bright red, based off of the return of Draco’s smirk. ‘What? But I’m way too young- and she’s a girl- and I wasn’t even thinking of her like that- and I don’t think that I could-’

Draco cut me off with a loud laugh. ‘Relax, I’m only teasing you. Though you really do seem to look at Granger with misty eyes more than anyone ever should. I think you manage to do it even more often than the weasel.’

My stomach started doing flip flops at that thought. ‘Wait, are they together, or something?’

Draco shook my head. ‘No. Though some suspect that they do wish to be in a relationship.’ He gave me a sharp look. ‘She’s a horrible person. You can do so much better.’

I shrugged. ‘Doesn’t matter. All I know is that the first time I saw her, I thought that she was beautiful.’ I raised my hand to cover my mouth, and stared at my housemate with wide eyes. ‘I didn’t mean- not that she’s not- but I-’

The prefect just started to laugh at me like I’d told some hilariously clever joke or something. ‘Sophie, stop. There’s no point in pretending like you don’t have a huge crush on the walking encyclopedia.’

I crossed my arms over my chest, and figured that it would only be fair for me to find a way to get onto equal ground. ‘Well who do you have a crush on then? Come on, out with it.’

Draco shrugged. ‘No one in particular. I don’t think that there are any girls in this whole school who could ever be considered good enough for me.’

We sat in silence for a few minutes after that, neither of us really sure what we were supposed to say. I couldn’t help it when I started to snicker. ‘You’re a pretty pretentious dick, aren’t you?’

He looked offended for a moment, and then he nodded. ‘Ah, Americans. You do use some interesting word choice sometimes.’

I shrugged. ‘I’m not the one who makes annoying someone and having sex with someone sound so similar.’

Draco snorted, and there was another minute of silence before he spoke again. ‘So are you ever going to actually try and pursue Granger, or are you just going to continue being just friends, when you can’t even keep your eyes off of her?’

I shrugged again. ‘Do you know Ginny Weasley?’ he nodded once. ‘She said that she was going to help me get closer with Hermione. It never really panned out. Besides, I doubt that Hermione is into girls.’

Draco rolled his eyes. ‘So basically, what you’re telling me is that you’re too afraid to actually go after what you want?’

I swatted him gently in the arm. Then I looked at him curiously, and wondered if he’d hex me for asking any of the hundreds of questions that have been swirling through my mind since our last conversation. I decided that it was worth the risk, because I really did want to know what was up. ‘Can I ask you something? Wait, don’t answer that. I’m going to ask you anyways,’ I took a deep breath, and shifted so I could spring away at a moment’s notice if I needed to. ‘If Trelawney’s prophecy was about you, which choice would you make?’

A look of surprise flitted across Draco’s face. His body tensed, and I was ready to make a run for it. Then he relaxed, and leaned back into the couch. He pulled out his wand to catch a simple silencing charm, so that even if someone were to randomly wander in, they wouldn’t hear the nature of our conversation. He looked at me assessingly. ‘You’ve probably already heard the rumors. That my parents are both death eaters, in you-know-who’s closest circle of people within the rest of the death eaters. And those rumors are true. To preserve my family’s name and honor, I’m going to follow in their footsteps.’ He peered at me cautiously, and I realized that I still looked like I was ready to bolt. I let myself sink down a little bit, and shifted closer to Draco. ‘I’d always thought that it would be something that would happen someday, a long time from now. I didn’t think that it would be so soon. This year, even.’

I looked at Draco in surprise, but he was just staring straight ahead, refusing to meet my eyes. I gulped nervously. Draco? A death eater? I hadn’t seen that one coming. It’s not like I tried to stay caught up with all the latest gossip or anything. Draco looked pretty miserable. I think that he must’ve been feeling miserable most of the time, but had just learned how to hide that. 

Well, Draco had shared something important with me, so I decided that it was really only fair for me to return the favor. ‘Do you remember awhile back, like a couple of months ago or so? You had to go to the hospital for a bit?’ He nodded, and turned his head a bit to look at me. I’d piqued his curiosity. I spat out the next part as quickly as I could. ‘Well, that was me because I could barely control my magic. Not that I can really control it any better now, but I’m sorry, and I don’t-’ 

Draco leaned towards me and I squeezed my eyes shut, certain that he was about to curse me pretty badly. So I was frozen in shock when his arms wrapped around me, and he pulled me into a tight hug. My arms were pinned down, so I couldn’t return the gesture even if I wanted to. I wasn’t sure if I did want to or not, since I had no idea what had suddenly brought that about.

After a length of time had passed, and it had just officially gone into the region of being awkward, Draco let go of me and sat back. He smiled, and I thought that maybe he’d finally snapped and gone psychotic. Except that wouldn’t explain why he was just sitting there instead of trying to do anything.

Draco chuckled. ‘I had been wondering who’d done it. I wanted to be able to thank them for giving me at least a little bit of delay before I would have to get back to work.’ He furrowed his eyebrows. ‘I wonder what caused that kind of reaction…’ then his eyes widened in realization, and he gave me a knowing look. ‘It happened during a chat I was having with Granger,’ he began laughing so hard he looked like he could barely breath. It was probably one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen before. 

When he’d finally finished laughing at my expense, he pulled me into another quick hug before standing up, and beginning to pace back and forth. ‘So if the prophecy was about me, then yeah, I think that I’d pick the path where people aren’t trying to constantly oppress me or force me to do things that I don’t want to do,’

I looked at Draco curiously. ‘Yeah, I totally agree. Which side is that, though?’

That pretty much brought about the end of our conversation. Draco left to go catch what he could of whatever class he’d skipped to talk to me. And I was left to think about everything that had been discussed. There’s no way that the prophecy is about me. I’m not special in any way.

But just in case, maybe I ought to start thinking about it. 

Yours always,

Sophie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to ask another question without giving any spoilers. Here’s the thing: the prophecy is (obviously) about Sophie. That shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone at this point (other than maybe Sophie herself). So my only question is this- Will Sophie choose to go Dark or Light? I can figure out how to write it either way, so I think that I might leave it up to you guys. About ten chapters or so from now, whichever way has the most votes will be the way that I go. Thank you so much to everyone who’s been reading this story! (:


	50. Letter 59 (Wednesday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick update- so far more votes are asking for Sophie to go light side. Though there was one request for her figuring out some third path, which is something that I’ll take into consideration. There’s still plenty of time for the votes to shift, but that’s where we’re at right now (:

Dear Jessie,

I decided that today felt like one of those days where I really should be going to class, if only so I don’t fail the exams at the end of the year and get kicked out entirely. I know we’ve sort of reconciled, but I’m still not sure that I’m ready to meet you face to face. I’m not sure that I ever will be.

For exams, I’ve heard a few people mention owls and newts. I don’t really know what either of those mean. I’m pretty sure that one is just for underclassmen and one’s for upperclassmen. Hell if I know which is which. But I’m thinking that failing them would mean flunking out of school. If it didn’t, then what would be the point of even having final exams at all? 

So I started to head towards the class that I was pretty sure I was supposed to be in at the time. But I sort of ended up getting distracted along the way. Honestly at this point, I don’t know why I haven’t just been kicked right out of this school yet. It’s not like I’m really doing anything that important or useful. Sorry, I’ll get back to the point of all of this.

When I was walking down the hallway, I spotted Hermione. She spotted me too, and didn’t really question why I wasn’t in class. She probably just assumed that it was my free period too. I smiled at her. ‘Hey,’

She smiled back! ‘Hey. I haven’t seen you around for a bit. Is everything okay with you?’ She was showing so much concern towards me! That’s a very positive sign. I think.

I nodded. ‘Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately. A lot of things to think about. I should probably start focusing a bit more if I don’t want to be kicked out of the school.’

She gave me a sympathetic look. ‘Yeah, things can get sort of tricky around here. Or more accurately, things get too boring to even bother paying attention to anymore.’ She chuckled. ‘Anyways, you’re just learning all of the stuff that we did last year, so if you ever find yourself needing help with anything, then you can come to me. I’d like to think that I’ve gotten pretty good at studying, no matter how unpredictable things get sometimes.’

I swear, I thought that my heart was actually going to stop. She had just offered to help me study. I don’t know if the slang is a bit different around here, but I know that back home, if someone wants to study with you, you’re not really going to be going over any of the class material.

Not that I want to just jump to conclusion. That could make things a bit awkward if it turns out that when she said study, she really did just mean study. I didn’t want that to just be the end of the conversation, though. Even if we didn’t talk about a single important thing, it would still be one of the better conversations I’ve had before. ‘So how’s all your schoolwork coming along?’

Hermione grinned. ‘It’s been wild, but I’ve been pretty successful so far at keeping up with my classes. Mostly it comes down to dividing up your workload so that you never have one day where you need to get everything done. And no matter how much Harry and Ron may complain about my work habits, I can always point out that at least I’m passing my classes.’ I laughed in response to that, and it just felt so natural.

‘Getting some help would actually be incredible. I’m not sure you manage to handle all of this by yourself.’

Hermione shrugged. “It probably helps that I’ve been going here for years now, so I’ve been eased into it, where you’ve just been dumped in way later than I’ve ever seen anyone come here.’

I nodded. ‘That’s true. And I really do appreciate the offer. Trying to learn all of the history stuff is like the hardest part, since we’ve always grown up learning muggle history. It was bad enough trying to cram all of that in our heads, but now there’s not room for anything else.’

Hermione laughed. ‘That’s true. I guess that’s why us muggle borns need to stick together when it comes to History of Magic. Though we do have the upperhand when it comes to Muggle Studies. There’s not much in that department we can learn here that we haven’t already learned elsewhere in our lives.’

It was such a nice conversation. I wish that we could’ve just kept talking forever. She was making me laugh, and even more important, I was making her laugh. It was all like some kind of dream come true. Until that dick had to show up and interrupt us. Or am I supposed to call him a prick since I’m in Scotland and they speak funny hear? Eh, I dunno. The point is, I totally wanted to strangle him. 

Draco just waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and then slid his eyes back and forth between me and Hermione a few times. I felt completely embarrassed. Didn’t he have anything else he could be doing with his life? Anything that didn’t involve humiliating me so much?

Apparently he did not. Before he could say anything, though, Hermione put her hands on her hips and stared at him coolly. ‘Is there something you need, Malfoy? Trying to harass me again? Still need my help on your little project? If you’re not careful, then my guardian angel might show up again.’

Draco’s eyes automatically fell on me, but as smart as Hermione is, I don’t think that she saw the connection there. Honestly, Draco shouldn’t be seeing a connection there either. There’s no way he could no that I’m the one who accidentally attacked him that day. If he did, then he wouldn’t even bother pretending to be friends with me, let alone actually being friends with me. Not that he’s acting like a very good friend right now anyways.

Finally, Draco dragged his eyes back to Hermione. He spoke in his slow drawl that made it sound like he was bored, and would rather be anywhere else in the world. ‘You know, Granger, by some strange circumstance, not everything in the entire world revolves around you.’ 

Hermione arched one eyebrow. ‘Then why are you here?’ Then she turned to look at me, and she clearly saw something. ‘Are you here to bully Sophie? Do you think that just because she’s in Slytherin and she’s younger than you it’s okay to be a total prat? You’d better leave her alone, Malfoy, or you’re not going to be very happy.’

Draco rolled his eyes, still looking pretty bored. ‘I’m not here to be a bully. In fact, Sophie in I are actually close friends.’

The Gryffindor looked dubious of that fact, but she did look at me for confirmation. I nodded. There was no reason to lie. As surprised as I am, I have come to think of Draco as a friend, even if I haven’t known him very long at all. I’ve known him far less time than I’ve known any of the Gryffindors, yet I’ve somehow managed to grow much closer to him than with any of the others. ‘Yeah, we’re friends. Even I’m not entirely sure about how that somehow happened. It’s cool, though. He’s not really as bad as you guys said that he is.’

Hermione nodded acceptingly. ‘Alright. As long as he’s being good to you. But if he ever tries to do anything mean, just let me know.’ She looked at Draco menacingly. ‘I could always just punch you again.’

I couldn’t help but let that catch my interest. ‘You’ve punched him? Seriously? When? Why?’

Hermione sighed, and it looked like she didn’t want to get into it at the moment, especially not in front of Draco himself. Draco ended up being the one who answered. Maybe because we’re friends? Maybe because I already told him that I’m a murderer and I don’t think that it can really get much worse than that? He cleared his throat. ‘I was being a major prick. I had it coming.’

Hermione seemed surprised, but impressed by that answer. ‘So then you’ve finally managed to grow up at least a little bit? Is that what you came here to tell me about?’

He shook his head. ‘Like I said before, Granger, not everything is about you. I’m here because a friend of mine was wondering if you’re into girls at all, or only guys.’

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. ‘What are you talking about?’

Draco rolled his eyes. ‘Come on, Granger, I know that you’re not a complete idiot, though you do come awfully close sometimes. It’s the nineties. You can do whatever you want, right?’

Hermione shook her head. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ And the entire time they were talking, I just had to stand there feeling completely mortified. What was he thinking? I could get into so much trouble if anyone figures out that I’m the student he was just referring to. People aren’t supposed to like people of the same gender! That’s why until very recently, you were the only one who ever actually knew about me! 

But I don’t think Hermione even noticed the way that my face was turning about the same color as a ripe tomato. Draco shrugged, seemingly unconcerned with the answer to his inquiry. ‘Whatever, Granger. I’ve got better things to be doing than standing around and talking to you my entire free period. And I’m sure that you’ve got plenty of studying to do,’ he looked at me. ‘And shouldn’t you be in class or something?’

I shrugged. ‘Whatever, it’s not really that big a deal.’

I noticed that Hermione looked pretty horrified to hear that I’d cut class (not that I usually attend anyways), but I did appreciate that she chose to remain silent on the matter. Maybe she could see that a lecture wasn’t really going to suddenly convince me to change my ways. I’m also grateful that she didn’t question my dedication to studying together when it was pretty obvious that I don’t really care about my classes.

Draco looked to me. ‘Do you want to go hang out somewhere?’ 

I looked back and forth between Hermione and Draco. And really, what was the right answer? The guy who was quickly becoming my friend and I’d told some of my darkest secrets to? Or the hot and smart girl who I liked but clearly didn’t like me back? As disappointing as it was, it wasn’t hard to arrive at a conclusion. 

I shrugged. ‘Sorry. I kind of already made plans to study.’ Draco nodded acceptingly.

He turned to walk away. ‘I need to talk to you later. Find me when you’re done.’

It wasn’t until after he’d left that Hermione politely pointed out the fact that I’d made no indication that I wanted to study with her immediately. My face flushing red, I returned to my dorm room. I guess I should’ve gone with the slightly more reliable choice. I’ll keep that in mind for next time. A sure friend has got to be better than an unlikely girlfriend.

Yours always,

Sophie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don’t really know much about how lgbtq things went in the 90s, so I’m just kind of writing blind here. If it ever seems unrealistic, then I do apologize (:


	51. Letter 60 (Thursday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And currently, the most votes still goes to her going lightside.

Dear Jessie,

Yesterday after dinner, I tried to find Draco, but he was conveniently missing from the Slytherin dorms. I decided that even though he was the one who’d said that he wanted to talk to me, I wasn’t going to try that hard to track him down, since it would probably be a pointless endeavor. I’m sure that a guy like Draco knows how to hide from someone when he wants to. And if he really wanted to find me, he’d know where to look.

So I walked back to the dorms, a look of embarrassment on my face. I wish that I hadn’t jumped to conclusions about that conversation with Hermione yesterday. That doesn’t matter anymore, though. I went to sleep, and woke up this morning feeling a lot better (and if maybe I had a dream or two about Hermione, then that’s entirely my own business).

When I went into the common room, Draco was lounging in his usual spot around the fireplace. Because our house is underground and right by the lake, it gets pretty chilly down here. He frowned when he saw me. ‘Why didn’t you find me last night? I said that I needed to talk to you.’ I didn’t say anything, so he rolled his eyes. ‘Is this about our conversation the other day? Fine, if you don’t want to discuss your destiny then we won’t, but don’t just ignore me.’

I couldn’t help laughing a bit at that. ‘Are you pouting, Draco? Do you really have so few friends that if I don’t talk to you, you’ll be all lonely?’

He looked like he wanted to punch me, but I knew that he wouldn’t. Or, I hoped that I knew he wouldn’t, anyways. With Draco, sometimes it’s hard to tell. He sighed. ‘I just wanted to apologize. I was a bit of an arse yesterday when I bumped into you. I shouldn’t have said those things to Granger.’

It felt absolutely bizarre to be hearing an apology coming from Draco. He’s the type of person who always likes to own the space he’s in, and no matter what he does (usually), he’ll act like it’s everyone around him who’s at fault. That makes for two apologies from him in two days. Well, he hadn’t exactly apologized to Hermione yesterday, but just the fact that he’d admitted that he was the one who was wrong had been strange. Now this was just weird. ‘Who are you, and what have you done with the real Draco?’

I almost wish that I went to more of my classes, so that I would know if it was even possible to make yourself look identical to somebody else. He rolled his eyes. ‘Ha ha. Just relax, would you? Is it really so unusual that I’d issue an apology to my… friend?’

I shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Bring one of your friends here and I’ll ask them.’ Now he was starting to look frustrated, and I felt bad for needling him. ‘Er, I accept your apology. Just don’t let it happen again.’ That’s a phrase that I’ve heard my parents use a lot when they’re on their phones, talking about work related stuff. It seemed to fit here, so whatever.

Draco nodded. ‘I won’t. I promise. I’ll let you figure things out in your own time, and whatever you end up doing will have to be your decision.’

I shrugged. ‘I may never do anything. I don’t want to ruin the tenuous friendship that I’ve been pushing so hard to make with her. I wouldn’t want to do anything that could upset the balance, you know?’

Draco nodded. ‘I know.’ He frowned. ‘So do you want to talk about the other stuff at all?’

I put my hands on my hips and tried to give Draco one of my sternest looks. I’m not sure how well it worked. He’s one of the few people who I can never tell whether he’s really afraid of me or not. ‘You mean how you think that for some reason there’s a prophecy about that? It’s not even possible. It’s about Harry Potter. Anyone with half a brain could figure that out.’

Draco nodded. ‘Then I guess you’ve only got half a brain, because anyone with a full brain would be able to figure out right away that it’s about you.’

I was starting to get frustrated with him. ‘Why are you so insistent on it being me? What difference would it really make to you either way? Why would you even care about any of this?’

Draco sighed, and looked over at the fire, crackling merrily away. I wondered if it was house elves in charge of keeping the fires going. Maybe I should make sure the fire always goes. Except I don’t have a wand yet, so there’s probably not much I could actually do. Not that the fire was important to any of this anyways.

I returned my attention to Draco, though he didn’t look up at me. He spoke in a soft voice, even though it was early and there wasn’t anyone else up yet. ‘Do you know what it feels like to choose between doing a bad thing or having a bad thing done to you?’ I shook my head. ‘Well I know what that feels like. There’s something that I’m going to have to do eventually, before the end of the school year for sure. If I don’t, then it’ll be bad for me and for my family. And I’ll only get one chance to get it right.’ I wasn’t sure how this was relevant, but I wasn’t going to interrupt him. ‘Potter hates me. I know that; I’ve accepted it years ago. If the prophecy’s about him then it doesn’t matter anyways. But if it’s about you, then that means that you’ve got the chance to make things right.’

I wasn’t sure that I was quite hearing it correctly, so I had to ask. ‘Are you saying that if the prophecy is about me, then you’ll just have me go and do your bad deed?’

He sighed, sounding as frustrated as me. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know. All I know is that if you’re friends with the people in charge, you’re more likely to get what you need. If you help you-know-who, he’ll make you important. He’ll value what you have to say. You could convince him to find someone else to do this bad thing.’

I frowned. ‘Or I could just destroy him and release anyone from doing it at all, right?’ I shrugged. ‘Wouldn’t that just make the most sense?’

Draco immediately jumped to his feet. ‘Don’t be an idiot. There’s no way you can take him down on your own. You’ll just get yourself killed.’

I put my hands on my hips, starting to feel pretty annoyed. ‘I thought you said that I’m obviously the person in the prophecy. Wouldn’t that mean that I could help him or harm him?’

He frowned. ‘I don’t think that that’s necessarily a literal translation-’

‘Why is it that it’s only a literal translation when it’s convenient to aiding your cause?’ My eyes widened in shock, and I spoke in a harsh whisper (well, you know that I’m not that good at whispering or sounding intimidating in general, but I’d like to think that in this case it worked in my favor). ‘You don’t actually want him to succeed, do you?’ Somehow, that possibility had never really occurred to me.

But thinking back to our conversation in the lovely garden, I could see how that almost made sense. He’d said that being under you-know-who’s thumb was a way to make all of the bad stuff not feel so bad anymore. So maybe he did genuinely want the villain to win. It’s what Harry thought.

His shoulders slumped down, and he looked at the carpet. ‘I don’t really know what I want anymore,’ he said miserably. ‘There’s a lot more at stake than just you or me. There’s so many lives to consider, so many innocent people who could get hurt either way.’ He let out a soft sigh. ‘I really don’t know.’

Well, as much as I was in the mood to dramatically storm away, I knew that it wouldn’t have been polite, so I walked over and patted his shoulder comfortingly. It was a bit awkward because he’s a couple inches taller than me, so I had to reach up. But he is my friend, and if I wasn’t willing to comfort a friend in need, then I’d be a horrible friend. I mean, I already know that I’m a horrible friend. First I blew you up, and then I attacked Draco before I’d ever even spoken to him before. Eh, not the point though.

The point is, I was just trying to be a good friend, is all. ‘Well, uh, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think that you have to live out the evil villain trope. There’s plenty about you that just screams redemption.’ He didn’t seem convinced, so I took in a deep breath, then let it out. ‘Well, think of it this way, then: I’ve managed to find something close to peace, and what I did is a billion times worse than anything you could be planning on doing.’

Draco shook his head and walked towards the door that would lead out into the dungeons corridor. ‘No offense, Sophie, but I think that I’d rather be on my own right now. If anyone asks, you have no idea where I’ve gone.’

I frowned. ‘But I really don’t know where you’re going.’

He nodded. ‘Good.’ And then he was walking away before I even had the chance to properly think about what had just happened. What had just happened?

I think my life is just fated to be so bizarre. And his too. Actually, I don’t think that there’s really a normal kid in this entire school. Maybe that’s why my parents thought that I’d be best off here.

Anyways, yours always,

Sophie


	52. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Okay, so I know that I said I would give y’all ten chapters, but I’m at a point where I really just need to start moving the story along. So I will start heading things in a certain direction, but I am open to finding a way to change things at any point from here. Just thought I’d let you know, and sorry for my impatience ! Also, I think that I might deviate from my typical format. I hope that it doesn’t totally ruin everything, but I think that I'm tired of the letters format lol. Just think of everything up to now as a prologue if you want, since the chapters were all so short that there wasn't a super high word count here anyways

Sophie stared at the trunk in front of her, tipped over, her letters scattered all across the room, several quickly becoming nothing more than ash, as they’d landed in the fireplace. She looked over at one of the other kids accusingly, and saw that there were two Slytherin girls lounging on one of the couches, laughing behind their hands as they mocked Sophie’s misfortune.

Sophie felt pissed off. “How the hell did my trunk make it’s way into the common room?”

One of the other girls shrugged. “Perhaps it just grew legs and decided to walk away. Merlin knows that nobody should ever be forced to have to constantly stand so near to you.”

Sophie balled her hands into fists. “Those were important!”

The other girl snorted. “Why? You wanna fantasize about Draco Malfoy some more?”

Sophie narrowed her eyes. “I’ve never fantasized about Draco Malfoy.”

The first girl nodded agreeably. “You’re right. You only ever talk about that stupid Gryffindor, and how much you want to get into her pants, you rotten little devil spawn. I wonder how often you do naughty things while thinking about your dream girl? Or are you actually thinking about your imaginary little friend when you act inappropriately?”

Sophie rushed over to the couch and grabbed the older girl, picking her up and slamming her down onto the floor. She wrapped her hands around the other Slytherin’s neck, and refused to let go.

The second girl pulled out her wand and shot a quick hex at Sophie, trying to get her away from her friend. Sophie rolled out of the way to avoid being hit, and the hex slammed into the floor nearby, leaving a dark black singe mark. 

Sophie didn’t have a wand, but she was pissed off. “What is wrong with you?”

The Slytherin on the floor got up, coughing loudly as she massaged her throat. “What’s wrong with me? You’re the one that just attacked me for no reason. And you’re going to regret that.”

The girl who was still sitting on the couch got up, and pointed her wand at Sophie with a slightly trembling hand. “You are a monstrosity. You have no place in this world. You should’ve just died when you went nuclear back in your home country.”

Sophie noticed that unsteady hand, and smirked. “You don’t seem all that tough to me. How exactly are you planning on making me regret anything?” She stomped down on the girl on the floor, forcing her onto her back, then pressed her heel down onto the girl’s chest, forcing her to stay down. She continued to speak to the girl who was standing. “I have more blood on my hands than you could ever imagine. Do you really think I’ll have any problem adding to the list of people who I’ve killed?”

The other Slytherin began shaking even harder, like a leaf caught in a storm. “I wonder if you tell your friend about times like these. Where you’re the bully who can’t stop hurting everyone around you. Do you tell her what a vicious person you are? Does she know that you have the blackest soul I’ve ever seen?”

Sophie clenched her jaw angrily. “Did you know that I don’t give a fuck?”

Before the situation could escalate any further, the door to the common room swung open, and the head of the house stormed in, followed by a small first year who Sophie had neglected to spot. He must’ve run off to be a tattle tale. Little brat. 

Snape looked absolutely livid. He didn’t even give any of the involved parties a chance to back off, he just swung his wand a few times, sending the three girls flying off to opposite corners of the room. He stood in the middle, looking so much more pissed off than he usually did.

“What is going on here?”

Sophie scowled as she struggled against invisible restraints. She nodded towards the other two. “They started it! They brought my chest of personal belongings into this room and spilled them everywhere! And they aren’t even sorry!”

The girl who was gasping for breath still shook her head. “That’s not true, sir! She came in here and dumped the chest, then went completely mad! She attacked me and tried to strangle me to death! Effie had to interfere, or I would be dead right now!”

The little first year who’d fetched Snape in the first place narrowed his eyes. “I saw Effie and Carmen spill the trunk. Then they said some nasty things, so Sophie attacked them.”

Snape nodded curtly. “Escort those two to the infirmary.” He released the spells holding them back. The little boy looked up at Sophie apologetically before hurrying off with the two older girls. Once the room was empty, Snape glared at Sophie. “And you’re coming with me.”

Sophie tipped her head back defiantely. “Why? I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“You do not attack other students, no matter what the situation!” The DADA professor snapped. “Now come with me.” Sophie stumbled forward when the spell binding her was released. She followed the professor away from the Slytherin house, and instead of going to his office, they were heading for the headmaster’s office.

Sophie groaned. “You’re not really going to tell the headmaster about this, are you? I mean, I’ll be expelled for sure!”

“Perhaps you should’ve thought about that before acting so violently towards your house mates,” Snape said in a smug sort of voice. 

In the headmaster’s office, Dumbledore was already sitting behind his desk, looking like he’d been expecting the company. “What seems to be the problem, Severus?”

Snape frowned at the use of his first name, then shoved Sophie forward. “This student was found attacking another student. If I hadn’t gotten there in time, I don’t doubt that there would’ve been at least one casualty.”

Dumbledore nodded. “Thank you, Severus. That’ll be all.” Snape nodded once, and left the office. Dumbledore gestured to the seat across from his. “Please, do sit down.”

“I prefer to stand.”

Dumbledore didn’t seem bothered by that. Instead, he picked up a piece of candy that had been sitting in the dish on his desk, and popped it into his mouth. “So why did you attack one of your peers?”

Sophie shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter what I say. I’m sure that you’ve already made up your mind about whether I’m guilty or innocent or not. But maybe this wouldn’t even be an issue if you’d just gotten me a new wand already. I’m sure I’d feel much less irritable.”

Dumbledore tilted his head. “Our deal was that I’ll help you get a new wand if you keep our conversation about Professor Trelawney between us. You haven’t held up your end of the bargain.” 

While Sophie was willing to suspend her disbelief when it came to a lot of things that happened in the magical world, she didn’t believe that the headmaster automatically knew everything that went on in his school. She narrowed her eyes. “I have not. Though with you not holding up your end of the bargain, it has been awfully tempting.”

Dumbledore nodded, like that was nothing more than the answer he’d been expecting to receive. “I was just checking. And I’ve already told you that the wand chooses the wizard, so it can take some time to find the right one.”

Sophie crossed her arms over her chest. “I already know where the right wand for me is. It’s in your pocket right now.”

Dumbledore chuckled at that. “I don’t think that me handing over my wand to you will actually solve much of anything.”

Sophie rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Just tell me what my punishment is for getting into a fight so that I can go.”

“No punishment. I’m sure you’ve learned your lesson and you’ll never do it again, right?”

Sophie’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious? You’re not going to get me into even a little bit of trouble for nearly killing someone?”

The headmaster shook his head. “Not unless you wanted to get in trouble for fighting.”

“No, no thanks. I’m good.” He popped another piece of candy into his mouth, and now that Sophie wasn’t quite so angry, she wasn’t distracted from noticing that his hand seemed to be blackened and shriveled up, like a piece of paper twisting around in a fire before turning into actual ashes. Ignoring polite social concepts that could be applied in this situation, Sophie lunged halfway across the headmaster’s desk in order to grab his hand. She looked at it critically. “What happened to you? This is disgusting.”

Dumbledore gently pulled his hand back. “It’s not really anything that you need to concern yourself with.” He stood up suddenly, and gave Sophie a kind smile. “I promise, I will continue to look into getting you a wand. Right now, there’s something else that I must be doing. You may go now. Just try to avoid getting into anymore fights.”

Sophie looked at the headmaster suspiciously, but she was in no position to just be calling him a liar. If he had personal information that he wanted to keep to himself, then it should be entirely up to him to do so. 

As Sophie began walking back towards the dungeons, she heard urgent footsteps approaching, and she saw that Draco was walking over to her, looking pretty angry. When he was close enough, he grabbed her by the arm and slammed her into the wall. “What the hell were you thinking? Do you know what would happen if you’d actually killed that girl?”

“Yes,” Sophie responded coolly. “As a matter of fact, I happen to have an entire list of people who are dead directly because of me. You’re the one who has no idea what it’s like to be responsible for taking a person’s life.” She shoved Draco away. “What do you care, anyways? It’s not like either of those two are your friends. Or if they are, you need to seriously reconsider your associations.”

Draco frowned. “I’m associated with you now, aren’t I?” He shook his head in disappointment. “I can’t believe you would ever do something so stupid. And for what? A few letters that you were never even going to send out anyways? Don’t be an idiot. Lives hold some meaning. Don’t just throw them away.”

Sophie looked at her friend inquisitively. “Okay, what’s this really about? I doubt you care that I almost murdered an annoying girl whose main pleasures in life were being a dick.”

Draco grabbed Sophie’s arm again, and dragged her down the hallway, into one of the empty alcoves. He spoke in a very soft voice, even though there was no one else around who could overhear him. “You know what the unforgivable curses are, don’t you?”

Sophie nodded uncertainly. “Sure, who doesn’t? I mean, I did go to classes for a couple of weeks, anyways.” Then she shook her head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Draco groaned with frustration, then took a deep breath. He spoke in an even softer voice. “There’s three of them. One causes instant death, one causes excruciating pain, and the other allows control over the victim.” He looked at Sophie with wide eyes, looking like he genuinely thought that her answer to whatever he was about to ask would change everything. “Do you think it would be wrong to use those curses on anyone?”

“Immoral or illegal?”

Draco shrugged. “They’re already banned. Have been for a couple hundred years. They’re considered dark magic. But what if there was a situation where using one on somebody meant saving others?”

There was no chance for Sophie to give Draco her answer, because a voice interrupted their bizarre conversation. “Sophie. Malfoy.”

Both Slytherins turned to face whoever had just come up behind them, and saw that it was the famous Harry Potter. Draco shook his head, and muttered, “I can’t be around him. Find me when you’re done and you have an answer to my question.” Then he turned and hurried off, presumably back to the dungeons.

Sophie looked at Harry, slightly offended. “I have a last name, too, you know. Why won’t anyone ever call me by my last name?” 

Harry looked confused, so he just went on to talk about whatever it was he’d come over to talk about. “I can’t help noticing that you’ve been hanging around with Malfoy a lot. As your friend, I just want to warn you to be careful. I know that he’s up to no good, and if you throw your lot in with him, you could end up getting seriously hurt.”

Sophie prayed to Jessie for a moment to give her the patience to not punch the idiot in front of her. “Listen, Harry, I know that you’re just looking out for me, but you’re also being kind of creepy. The way you just said that makes it sound like you’ve been stalking Draco. And I know that you are, because I’ve seen you following him around while using some kind invisibility spell or something. He’s a good person, and he’s not plotting anything sinister.”

Harry frowned. “I’m just trying to-”

Sophie shook her head. “Whatever it is you think you’re going to accomplish by obsessing over my friend, I don’t care. I get that you’re supposed to be some kind of celebrity or something, but that doesn’t give you the right to get all paranoid and start creepily fixating on people.” She pushed past him to stomp away, but paused to turn back for a moment. “And by the way, if you tell Hermione that I was a jerk to you, I will kill you. Or at least embarrass you or something. I don’t need your help, and Draco doesn’t need your unwarranted suspicions, so just leave us both alone, okay?”

Harry crossed his arms over his chest, looking annoyed. “I thought you were different than most Slytherins.” He almost sounded bitter when he spoke.

Sophie shrugged. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to be. I don’t have a wand, I don’t know who my parents are, I’ve done so many evil things that I’ll definitely go to hell the moment I die, and I am all the way across the ocean from the only person in this entire world that seems to actually care about me at all. So just do me the favor of leaving me alone, and I’ll extend you the same courtesy. I have had a really shitty day, and I’ve got no patience for false courage. If you want to do good, then go volunteer at a soup kitchen. Don’t bother me.”

She stormed away, her stomach flipping around nervously in her stomach. Had she really just said that? When had she gotten so mean? Maybe it was just a part of her. Maybe Draco was right. Maybe she wasn’t meant to do good. Maybe that prophecy really was about her. Maybe she was always meant to be evil.


	53. Chapter 2

Sophie found Draco in the Slytherin sixth year boys’ dorm room. There were no other boys in there, so no one else was around to care much about the intrusion. And even if anyone did have a problem with it, Sophie wouldn’t care because she’d already had her privacy violated so hard that it hurt, so it wouldn’t matter if the same thing were to happen to anyone else. 

Draco looked slightly surprised to see Sophie. “What’re you doing in here?”

“I came to find you. I thought you’d be proud if I told you the things that I said to Harry.” She smiled nervously. “And also I’ve taken some time to think about your question. I think that if it came down to a situation where one person gets hurt in exchange for a lot of people turning out alright, then it would be okay to use those unforgivable curses. I don’t really know why you’d want my opinion on it, but I just thought that you should know.”

Draco arched one eyebrow in a way that he seemed to be a complete expert at. “Don’t you think that if you said anything to Potter I’d approve of, he’ll tell Granger and completely ruin your chances with her?”

Sophie shrugged. “I’m so over her,” she lied. “Like you said, there’s better people for me to be wasting my time on. And there’s so many important things going on, I don’t really have the time to focus on an unrealistic romance anyways.”

Draco wiggled his eyebrows up and down in a suggestive way. “What makes you think that it’s unrealistic? Since Granger loves her books more than she could ever love another human being, all you have to do is learn everything there is to know in the entire world, and you’ll have her complete attention, one hundred percent guaranteed.”

Sophie rolled her eyes. “Let’s just not discuss anything related to romance right now, okay? I’m not really feeling like I’m in the mood to talk about my love life with you.”

“Whatever. So was there anything else you did want to discuss, or did you just think it would be fun to come in here and bother me?”

Sophie crossed her arms over her chest. “We both know that if I wasn’t ‘bothering’ you, you wouldn’t be interacting with anyone at all since you have no other friends.” She grinned. “Anyways, you’re right. There is something else that I want to talk to you about. Can you do that muffling spell that stops people from being able to hear us?” Draco lazily drew out his wand and obliged the younger Slytherin. “Okay, great. Now, I want to know what your thoughts are on the idea of stealing Albus Dumbledore’s wand.”

Draco snorted loudly. “Okay, you made me go through all the effort of giving us privacy just for that? Very funny, but-”

Sophie frowned. “I’m being serious. Everyone keeps saying that the wand chooses the wizard, and if I just focus hard enough, I’ll be able to hear it calling to me, or something. Well, I’ve been focusing, and all that keeps happening is I keep getting led back to Dumbledore’s wand. I don’t know how or why, but I think that his wand is supposed to be mine.”

Draco sat up straighter, looking more alert. “But that’s impossible. He wouldn’t have felt comfortable using someone else’s wand all these years, and if it is his, the only way you’d be able to gain ownership of it would be to defeat him in a duel. But since you presumably have not done that, there’s no way it could recognize you as the owner.” He held out his own wand. “Here, take this. I want you to try casting a simple spell. A lumos or something like that, so that you know what it feels like to use a wand that isn’t yours.”

Sophie turned so she was facing away from Draco, not risking pointing a wand right at his face. She’d never used a wand to cast a spell before, and she’d also never intentionally cast any spell before, so she was understandably feeling a little bit nervous. She took a deep breath in, then slowly let it out. Pointing the wand down at the floor where it wouldn’t be able to harm anyone, she breathed out the single word. “Lumos.” She could feel that warmth build up in her stomach that meant magic was about to happen. 

Then, instead of just a gentle little ball of light at the tip of the wand, a bright white light came blasting out with full intensity, and the carpet began flaming. Sophie panicked, and threw the wand back at Draco. She looked at him with wide eyes, unsure of what to do.

Draco cast a few quick spells to extinguish the flames, and then he put his wand down on the couch like it had just burned him. And based on the bright red state of his hand, it seemed quite possible that it had. Sophie sank down to the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest. She pressed one arm over her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I don’t know why that happened. You should probably go to Madam Pomfrey to look at your hand or something. I’m sorry.” 

There was a moment of silence, and then Sophie was surprised to hear a soft chuckle from above her. “That was an incredible display of power. I’ve never seen anything like it. If that was you using someone else’s wand while not being in full control, then I’d hate to see what you’re like someday when you have your own wand and complete command over it.”

Sophie peered up over the top of her arm. “Why aren’t you made? I burned a hole in the carpet and I burned your hand. No wonder none of the professors wanted me practicing any magic. It’s way too dangerous.”

Draco tapped his wand then quickly pulled his fingers away as he tested to see if it had cooled down enough for him to pick it up. “Well, this carpet was old and ugly anyways. And besides that, the fact that you’ve yet to learn control is fully the professors’ faults for not helping you practice and improve. And the only reason my wand heated up so much is because it wasn’t meant to channel so much power through it at once.” He checked his wand again, and it was lukewarm, which meant that he could safely pick it up and cast a quick healing spell on his burnt hand. “You’re going to make quite the impressive witch someday.”

Sophie uncurled herself from her current position, and stared at the singed spot of the carpet. “All I’m ever going to be is a menace to the people who enjoy living in relative peace and safety.”

Draco scoffed. “That’s ridiculous. You’re a very powerful witch. I’ve never really seen anything like you before outside of books, and it’s awesome. Dumbledore is also a very powerful wizard. He once defeated a dark lord himself, which isn’t too shabby. Maybe he’s got a wand that’s meant to be wielded by a strong witch or wizard, because it’s strong enough to withstand that much power or something. And if that’s the case, it could be one of the few that would be able to handle you using it on a constant basis.”

Sophie perked up at that. “So you’re saying that I’m not some defective mistake?”

Draco nodded adamantly. “Of course that’s what I’m saying! Sophie, there’s nothing wrong with you. In fact, you’re probably one of the most powerful witches to ever walk the face of this planet. Your accidental magic keeps bursting out of you because it’s way too strong to be contained, but you never use your magic intentionally, which means that it’s got no real outlet. But if you could learn to control it, then you’d be one of the best. You’re not defective, Sophie. You’re just so strong that a lot of people have trouble understanding you.”

She grinned. “You always know just what to say, Draco.” She raised one eyebrow, though not nearly as good as Draco could do it. “So does this mean you’re in on the plan of stealing Dumbledore’s wand? I’m sure that I’d only need it for a few minutes to figure out whether or not it’s really mine. And once I figure it out, we could go from there. Please, Draco? I don’t know anyone else who could help me with this. And you’re such a powerful wizard, I’m sure you could be really helpful in all of this. Please? Pretty please?”

Draco scowled. “You are a Slytherin, aren’t you? Trying to manipulate me by appealing to my ego? Well it’s working. I’m in. If Dumbledore’s wand really is the best thing for you, then he can go and find his own. He must have one that he used before he won his from the dark lord that he defeated. He can always use that one again if it turns out that he’s got yours. Though it is strange that a wand that’s got a wizard already would be itching for a new one. But I believe you as far as you feeling like it’s rightfully yours.”

Sophie smiled. “Good. So do I really have to defeat Dumbledore in order to use it, or would just sneaking in while he’s sleeping and borrowing it for a few minutes be good enough?”

Draco shrugged, and he began to pace back and forth. “I’m not really sure. If the wand is already yours, as you say it is, then you shouldn’t need to defeat him to use it to its full extent. But stealing one of Dumbledore’s possessions from right underneath his nose is going to be difficult. Especially with Potter ‘subtly’ tracking my every move. But we’ll figure it out. I promise we will.”

Sophie smiled. Then she let out a loud yawn. “Jesus, that magic stuff really makes me tired when I try to make it come out on purpose. I wasn’t even this exhausted after blowing up nearly half a city.”

“You’ve got to be exaggerating. There’s no way you did that much damage, I’m sure.”

Sophie put her hands on her hips. “I don’t know, do you wanna bet? Because I can easily find some muggle newspaper that advertises all about it, and then you’ll be sorry to have ever become friends with me.”

There was a completely serious look on Draco’s face. “I will never be sorry that I befriended a little brat like you. You may be annoying at times, and you certainly come with a lot of drama and baggage. But who doesn’t?”

That brought a smile to Sophie’s face. “You’re right. Everyone’s got their own problems. I’m just glad that you’re here and so willing to help me out with mine.”

Draco nodded once. “Of course. Now let’s figure out how we’re going to do this with the smallest possible chance of being caught.” He pulled out a notebook that had been lying on the end of his bed. “With someone as brilliant as me on your side, there’s no way that we’ll fail.”

Sophie sat down next to Draco. “Well, I certainly hope not, for both of our sakes.”

***

Albus looked over at Snape, a curious expression on his face. “I was nearly certain that young Mr Malfoy had some malicious intent before. Considering what you told me about the event that occurred over the summer, how could I possibly think otherwise? But now I’m not so sure. He’s been spending a lot of time with Sophie.”

Snape raised one eyebrow. “And you’re just going to assume that she’s inherently good despite how much trouble she’s caused? A lot of people were injured and killed in that explosion she set off back in the U.S. And even if she is somehow pure goodness, that doesn’t mean she’s going to rub off on Draco. He could easily be playing her for some other reason.”

Albus quickly shook his head. “No, I don’t think that that’s the case. The explosion in California came from pure accidental magic, and no evil intent on Sophie’s part. And I do believe that she would be the one who could convince Mr Malfoy to back down. Of course you’re going to be stepping in either way. I am curious to see how this is all going to play out.”

Snape frowned. “Professor, what do you expect to come out of all this? So many people have already been traumatized and had their lives ruined. So what are you expecting to happen?” He nodded down towards Dumbledore’s blackened hand. “You’re not going to have enough time to find all of the horcruxes, and you know that. So what’s the endgame here? What could you possibly hope to achieve?”

Albus smiled. “For now, I’m just interested in seeing how things go. Who said that I always have to have some specific goal in mind?”

Snape narrowed his eyes. “Well you do. You’ve obviously got some grand and clever plan in the works that you think is going to happen exactly the way you want. What makes you so confident?”

Albus shrugged. “Perhaps it has to do with the prophecy. When I asked Sophie her birth date, she told me September 11th, but when I looked in her transcripts file, it clearly said her birthday is August 1st. Now, I have no idea why she would feel the need to lie about her birthday, but August 1st is at the very end of July, or the death of July. Which is what leads me to believe that despite what she thinks, the prophecy is indeed about Sophie. Which really only makes things more and more interesting, seeing as there was no prophecy when I first decided to bring her into this school.”

Snape didn’t look amused at all, even as Albus chuckled gently. “And what of the business with the wand? You promised the girl you’d help her obtain one. But we both know that she would need some kind of specially made wand to be able to even begin to contain all the power she’s got inside of her. And she’s the type to be annoyingly persistent about anything if it’ll bother others.”

Albus smiled. “Our deal was that she’d get a wand if she said nothing of the prophecy to anyone else. But of course she has shared it all with someone; my guess is Mr Malfoy. Therefore our deal is null, as she broke her end of the bargain first.”

Snape shook his head and walked towards the door of Dumbledore’s office. “You are not the heroic man that everyone believes you to be. We also both know that if she finds no way to get all of that power out of her, she’ll burn herself out within a year. Maybe two. Surely you aren’t that cruel. I understand why you think Potter has to die, but if that prophecy is about her, then she’s got the ability to stop You-Know-Who. Why would you want to give that up?” When the headmaster said nothing in response, Snape narrowed his eyes, and stormed out of the office. Some people just couldn’t be reasoned with.


	54. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally when I was going in the letters format (and I realize now that my new format kinda makes the title pointless but I’m too lazy to change it) I was keeping track of what day of the week each letter was written on because that seemed important but now I’m no longer keeping track so if the days are ever mentioned in a way that doesn’t make sense, just pretend that it does haha

Sophie was running down the hall to catch up with Hermione. “Hey! Hey wait! Please wait!”

Hermione stopped, and Sophie tripped over her own feet from trying to stop quick enough to avoid physically bumping into the older girl. She fell onto the floor in a tangle of her own limbs, and took a moment to get back up to her feet. Hermione didn’t offer down a hand to help. “What do you want? I’ve got a lot of homework that I need to get to.”

Sophie frowned once she was standing upright again. “Sorry to bother you. I just… I haven’t seen you around in a while, so I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out or something.”

Hermione crossed her arms over the textbook that she was holding up against her chest. “Listen, Sophie, I’m going to be honest with you, okay? I don’t appreciate people who give Harry trouble. I get that you’re a Slytherin, and you probably feel like you’ve got some standards to live up to, but you should leave my friends out of it. I’m not trying to be rude, okay, I’m just being honest. Harry is a really important person to me, and to a lot of other people in the magical world. He’s given a lot of sacrifices already, and he doesn’t deserve to be treated like a creepy stalker. After everything that’s happened to him, a little bit of paranoia is understandable. And in this case, he’s being paranoid about a person who has caused us endless troubles in the past, and has always been a bully. So I can’t stop you from feeling however you want to feel about Harry, but I can tell you that it makes me uncomfortable. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really do have studying to do.”

Sophie’s eyes began to water without her even thinking about it, and she clenched her hands into her fists. She could feel the warmth in her belly that signalled magic was coming, but she knew that no matter how mad she was, she couldn’t hurt Hermione. 

Once Hermione was out of sight, Sophie ducked into an empty classroom, and slammed the door shut behind her. She bit into her arm to muffle the loud scream that she let out as her magic ricocheted through the room. Desks were flipped over and destroyed, and the things that were hanging on the walls were all torn down, including the skeleton model that hung in the middle of the room. 

Then the tornado of magic seemed to die down, and Sophie had to put a lot of effort into unclenching her jaw so that she could pull her arm free. There was a rough circle outlined on her arm from where her teeth had been, and the circle was freely bleeding. Sophie used her other arm to wipe the blood off of her mouth. She felt sick to the stomach, and couldn’t help wondering what was wrong with her for her to cause so much damage every time she got a little bit emotional. It wasn’t really fair to everyone else who had to actually keep their magic under their control or face the consequences. It also wasn’t fair to whoever was planning on using this classroom next, because it was a complete and utter mess.

Sophie knew that she should go and find a professor and show them what happened so that she could get in trouble and then move on with her life. But she didn’t feel like moving at all. She leaned back against the wall that was behind her, then sank down so she was sitting. 

She felt too hot and too cold at the same time, and the bite mark on her arm was stinging pretty painfully. She closed her eyes, feeling too sluggish to move around very much.

At some point later, though Sophie wasn’t sure exactly how much time had passed, someone began rattling the knob to the door, obviously trying to get inside. Her mouth felt too tired to actually form any letters, so just let out a soft groan. There was a pause, and then a voice that sounded disgusted. “If there are two students in here doing things that they shouldn’t be doing, then they should put their clothes on because I’m about to break this door down.” The door swung open a moment later, and Sophie used all her effort just to tilt her head back to see who was there. It was Snape, and his disgust quickly turned to concern, which he quickly hid behind some good old disappointment and anger. “What happened in here?”

Sophie squeezed her eyes shut. “Stuff,” she managed to mutter. 

The professor walked towards his desk, and a moment later, Sophie could hear some glass being shuffled around. A moment after that, she could feel cool glass touching her lips. “Here, drink this.”

He tipped back the vial when it was obvious that Sophie wasn’t going to lift her hands to grab it, and the cool liquid trickled down Sophie’s throat. Once she’d swallowed the full contents of the bottle, Sophie felt oddly refreshed, like she’d just been given a cold soda after wandering a desert. 

She opened her eyes and saw that Snape was crouched down in front of her. “What was that?”

The professor frowned. “A restorative potion. They’re not usually needed in the school, but I figured that it never hurts to have some on hand. You used too much magical energy, and it exhausted you. The potion returns some of your natural vigor, though it works better if it’s paired with a long nap.” He looked around the room. “Did anything specific cause this, or did it just happen?”

“Something specific,” Sophie said while looking down at the ground. “A fight with a friend I guess. But I figured out what it feels like when I’m about to explode, and I knew I had to get away from other people. I’m sorry I ruined your classroom.”

Snape waved his wand without really looking, and Sophie watched with wide eyes as the room slowly began to put itself back together. It was like pressing rewind on a destructive scene in a movie. “The destruction of a classroom isn’t a big deal. However the destruction of a human is harder to fix. You were smart to find somewhere isolated to ‘explode’, as you called it. But that isn’t any kind of permanent solution. You can’t just run off and break things every time you get a little upset. That exhausted feeling you had basically incapacitated you this time. And every time your magic acts up to this extreme, it’s only going to take a harder toll on you.” He glanced down at her arm. He started to wave his wand, but Sophie reached up to grab his wand arm. It was too weak a grip to actually stop him, but he did pause.

“Wait. Don’t heal it. You can disinfect it or whatever, but I want to leave it there to scar.”

Snape narrowed his eyes. “What purpose does that serve?”

Sophie still couldn’t meet the professor’s eyes. “So that every time I start to feel it, I can look down at my arm and remember how bad I felt, and I’ll be able to keep my magic contained.”

Snape frowned. “Keeping your magic inside of you when an episode like this is going to occur would be even harder on your body. The problem is that your magic has no outlet, so it just builds up over a period of time, and then at the smallest inconvenience it’s ready to burst out of you. You need a way to channel the magic that you’ve got inside of you. Most wizards and witches use a wand.”

Sophie perked up at that. “You’re going to help me get a wand?”

Snape shook his head. “I’m no expert in wands, but even I can see that you’d quickly burn through any wand you use. And whether that’s because you’ve got so much built up that it all comes through every time, or because you really are that powerful, is hard to tell. And irrelevant. We need to find you a different way to let out your magic. A way that lets you control it.” He looked around the classroom, and nodded in satisfaction when he saw that it was all back in order. He waved his wand at Sophie’s wound, and she watched as the blood cleared away, and it started to scab over. Then he stood up, and offered one hand down to Sophie. 

She took it, and let the professor pull her back to her feet. She paused for a moment as she waited for the sudden dizziness to go away. “So you said that if I take a nice nap I’ll go back to feeling my normal level of shitty instead of this new and improved level of shitty?” 

Snape nodded curtly. “Not in those words, but that is the gist of what I said.”

Sophie started towards the door, then paused to look back at Snape. “You said that every single time this happens it’ll be worse on me. How much worse? How many more times do you think this could happen before…?” She shivered at the thought of basically going nuclear again. She still couldn’t think of Jessie and the countless others without feeling nearly crippling guilt from it, which is why she’d stopped writing her letters, and she tried to think about it all as rarely as possible. She’d never be able to live with herself if she were to accidentally blow up the school, or something like that.

Snape seemed to understand what she was thinking, and he gave her a serious look. “I don’t know. There’s no exact instance in the past that I can think of that is exactly like yours. Without any point of reference, it’s hard to say for sure.” He could see that Sophie wasn’t going to let it go, and he let out a long sigh. “But if I were to take a guess, I’d say that if you were to ‘explode’ at this level even a few more times, it would not end well for you. But I don’t think that it would end with this school being brought down. Hogwarts has survived a great deal of horrible things, and you’re not even close to being the worst. Try not to worry about it too much for now, though.”

Sophie snorted. “Yeah. The fact that I could die because of my stupid magic isn’t something that I should focus on.” She frowned. “I’m just going to go now, then.” She still didn’t actually leave the classroom. “I know that you’ll probably have to tell the headmaster, but can you possibly try to not say anything to anyone else? Most of the other teachers here are already too scared of me, and I’m a freak in the eyes of most of the students. Especially after the potions class incident. So if it’s possible to just not say anything, I’d really appreciate that.”

Snape gave a single nod. “If I can avoid it, I won’t say anything. Though you did cause damage to yourself and this classroom, so despite being the head of your house, I’m going to deduct five points from Slytherin.”

Sophie nodded once. “Thank you, Sir.” She turned and hurried out of the classroom. She jogged all the way back to the Slytherin common room, and collapsed down onto an empty seat next to the fireplace. She would’ve gone into the fifth year girls’ dorm, but she wasn’t sure if the other annoying girls were in there at the moment or not.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence with her eyes closed, she felt the weight of the couch she was on change as someone sat down next to her. “Hey. I know you’re not really asleep right now.”

Sophie slowly opened her eyes, and turned to look at Draco. “How did you know that?”

He grinned. “Because if you were you wouldn’t have heard me say that.” His smile faded a little bit when he saw how exhausted Sophie looked. “Hey, are you okay? You look way more tired than you did when I saw you this morning.”

Sophie nodded wearily. Then she leaned forward and spoke in a soft whisper so that if anyone else did pass through the common room, they wouldn’t be able to overhear. “My magic did that exploding out thing again. It still wasn’t as bad as that first time back at home, but it was pretty bad. The entire classroom I was in got completely destroyed. Snape was there to fix it up though.”

Draco frowned. “That can’t be everything. You look really worried about something. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Sophie sighed, and continued to speak in a whisper. “He said that if it happens to many more times, I could die. And he said that any wand I try to use would just be burned through, though we already figured out that part. So are we still on for stealing Dumbledore’s wand? Because now I’m starting to see that it’s literally a matter of life or death.”

Draco nodded. “Yeah, I’m still in. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, I promise. For some reason or another, you’re actually kind of important.”

Sophie raised one side of her mouth. “‘For some reason or another’? Come on. We both know that it’s because you actually don’t have any other friends since you’re just a loser.”

Draco pretended to punch her in the shoulder. “I don’t think that that’s it. I must just like you because I know that you’d be off hanging out with those weirdo Gryffindors without my guidance, and I would be a horrible mentor if I let you go and do something like that.” 

Sophie nodded. “Sure. Sure.” She had a teasing look on her face, and Draco seemed relieved to see her looking a little bit less upset. “Because you’re just the greatest mentor of all time.”

Draco pretended to flip his hair over his shoulder. “Why thank you for the compliment, though I was already aware of that fact.” The two of them stayed in the common room to joke around for a little longer, and Sophie was glad to be able to forget about her problems, at least for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this is a little shorter than usual but it’s just so damn hot here (at least 90F/32C) that I can barely concentrate, and I’m just grateful to have gotten as much done as I did


	55. Chapter 4

Sophie was startled out of her casual nap when she felt someone shake her shoulders a bit too roughly. Her eyes snapped open, and she found herself staring into Hermione’s beautiful brown eyes that were just a bit too close to Sophie’s face for her comfort. She blinked a few times, and looked at the Gryffindor in confusion. “Um, hi? Not that I’m complaining, but I thought that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore?”

Hermione frowned. “I don’t remember saying that. And that’s not the point.” Sophie looked closer, and realized that the older girl looked worried and scared, and very distracted considering she was the one who’d started the conversation. “Have you seen Harry?”

Sophie shook her head. “No. He’s stayed away from me, and I’ve stayed away from him. I thought that’s what you wanted?” She tilted her head. “Oh. You’re not asking to figure out if I’ve seen him and bothered him, you’re just trying to find him.”

Hermione slowly nodded. “Yes. I haven’t been able to find him anywhere around the school, and Ron’s had just as little luck. He said that Harry wasn’t in his bed when he woke up this morning. I know Hogwarts is big, but it shouldn’t be that difficult to find someone so famous.”

Sophie stood up, forcing Hermione to take a couple steps back, and she stretched her arms up over her head as she yawned. “So why would you think that I’ve seen the golden boy? I’ve mostly been chilling down in Slytherin, and as far as I know, he hasn’t been down there.”

“Not in a few years, at least,” Hermione said softly. “Oh, I don’t know why I came to you. I just thought- nevermind. It’s not really important. I just need to keep asking people until I eventually find someone who’s seen him.”

All teasing aside, Sophie could see that Hermione was pretty distraught. “I’ll keep an eye out for him,” she offered. “No guarantees though. I don’t usually pay a whole lot of attention to my surroundings. He’s probably just found some stupid thing to be fascinated by, some secret hallway or room, and he’ll be back in no time.”

Hermione nodded, and reached up to scrub at her eyes, even though there hadn’t been any tears there. “Thanks. I’m sure you’re right. It’s just strange because usually when he goes off on those odd little adventures, he’s got me and Ron with him. I just hope he’s alright. He can be stubbornly brave sometimes. Means he’ll run head first into a dangerous situation because he never stops to think. It can be an endearing quality sometimes, but not when I don’t know where he is or what he’s up to. I don’t mean to mother hen him or anything like that. I’m just worried. He’s one of my best friends.”

The thought of being worried about her best friend completely grabbed Sophie’s attention. She knew how it felt to worry, because of how much she’d worried over Jessie. Her expression softened. “I’m sure he’s fine. Don’t worry so much.” She paused for a moment to think about what she could say that would make Hermione feel better. “You’re really smart, right? So maybe you could find some kind of tracking spell to see where he is? Would that work? Is that even a real thing? You’re not saying anything so should I just assume that I’m a complete idiot who has absolutely no idea what I’m talking about?”

Hermione let out a small laugh. “No, that makes sense. I’m not sure if there is something like that though. I know there’s the trace on all wands belonging to underage wizards so that the ministry can track minors using magic outside of school grounds, but I’m not sure if there’s any legal way to track someone if you’re not a part of the ministry. And if he’s on school grounds, the trace wouldn’t be activated anyways. It was a good thought though. You’re definitely not a complete idiot.”

“Oh, good,” Sophie grinned. “Guess that means I’m just a partial idiot like everyone else around here.”

Hermione’s eyes widened, and she looked excited. “Oh, why didn’t I think of it sooner? If Harry is in this school, anywhere in this school, I know exactly how to find him. And if he’s not in the school then at least we can rule out some possibilities. Thank you, Sophie.” She gave Sophie a quick hug, then hurried away. 

Sophie had no idea what Hermione was going to do to find Harry, and she figured that it was none of her business. She was just glad that Hermione didn’t seem mad at her anymore, and she’d even gotten to see that brilliant smile. So she decided it was time to head back to Slytherin, and she didn’t even notice the happy little skip in her step.

When she reached the common room, she was immediately grabbed and pulled aside by Draco. He quickly cast a silencing charm to give them some privacy, then looked at her. It was hard to place if he looked scared or maniacal, or happy, all of which were perfectly valid feelings for any occasion. Sophie raised one eyebrow. “Um. Hi. What’s new with you?”

Draco grabbed her shoulders and squeezed them tightly. “I know how to get that wand for you after all. You know, Dumbledore’s wand? The one that’s supposedly all powerful that we’re trying to get? Well, I’ve figured out how to get it. It’s got to do with a plan that I’ve sort of been working on since the beginning of the year. The one that you saw me in the room of requirement for? I know how to tweak it to get the wand for you. Because then you won’t have to worry about you know. Potentially dying. It would suck to lose one of my few real friends.”

Sophie felt excitement well up in her stomach. She was finally going to get a real wand for herself, and it would be strong enough to hold up against her magic. And even better, it would mean that she wouldn’t have to worry about dying from watching an emotional episode of a tv show and flipping out. 

She grinned. “Alright. So what do I have to do?”

Draco hesitated for a moment. “Well. It’ll kind of be a two person job. I happen to know that Dumbledore isn’t in the school right now. And I know, I know, that doesn’t automatically mean that he left his wand lying around in his office or anything. But I know how to lure him to a more isolated spot upon his return, like maybe the Astronomy Tower. No one would think to look for us. If we can take him by surprise, then I can use my magic to disarm him. Then all you’ll have to do is disarm me, and the wand will be yours.”

Sophie took a moment to think that over. It sounded dangerous. They’d probably be expelled for doing something so traitorous against the headmaster. It would mean going back to America, to go home. Where she wouldn’t be able to use magic, because she still had Hermione’s recent words in mind. “But what about the trace thing? Won’t the ministry know where I am if they can detect the use of magic from underage wizards?”

Draco frowned. “Not if no one knows that you were the one who took the wand. I’m not sure about how great it works to use spells on wands themselves, but maybe we could change it to look different. We could say that you-” His eyes widened. “Oh, it’s perfect. We can say that you’re a hero. That you managed to disarm one of the intruders, and found that their wand worked for you, so you kept it, as your legal right would be.”

Sophie raised one eyebrow. “Um, what intruders though? If Dumbledore is there, I’m pretty sure he’d be able to verify that there were no intruders other than us. Well, since we are students here we wouldn’t technically be intruders, but we would be somewhere other than where we’re supposed to be, so it might still sort of count.”

Draco blinked a few times, obviously having gotten lost at some point during that ramble. “Well, there will be intruders. That’s all part of the plan.”

That was surprising. If Draco didn’t have many friends, who could possibly be the mysterious people he’d planned to have intruding? And wasn’t it dangerous to let strangers onto the school grounds for any reason? “I don’t know. This doesn’t sound very safe. But I trust you, so if you say that this will work, then I’m sure that it will. So how will we distract Dumbledore long enough to disarm him? Since you’re doing the disarming, I’m assuming that I’m doing the distracting.”

Draco shook his head. “Not quite. That’s what my… friends will be there for. They’ll provide a nice distraction, and we’ll get to do the fun part.”

“And then we’ll pretend to fight your friends to convince Dumbledore that we’re heroes? Won’t he realize that I’m using his wand if he’s so powerful?”

Draco took a deep breath in, and slowly let it out. He looked a little bit frustrated. “There’s another piece of the plan too. Dumbledore isn’t going to be describing a witness encounter of anything.”

Sophie tilted her head. “Why not? He’s not exactly a big fan of me as far as I can tell, so I don’t think he’ll be jumping at the bit to help us out. And he definitely isn’t going to let us get away with taking his wand. He’s probably capable of disarming me and taking ownership of the wand back.”

Draco narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about this here. Meet me at the base of the Astronomy Tower after dinner. You’ll see what I’m talking about at that time. And don’t try to talk to me again before that. It’s best if not too many people see us together.”

Sophie frowned, and the excitement that had been building up slowly began to dissipate. If they were going to say they’d just casually strolled into the tower together, wouldn’t it be easier to believe if people knew they’d been hanging out? And why wouldn’t Dumbledore tattle on them or try to take back his wand? And what were the intruders going to do as a distraction? And how did Draco even know that the headmaster wasn’t in the school?

There were so many questions that needed answers, and she wasn’t sure why Draco wasn’t telling her anything. But she hadn’t been lying when she’d said that she trusted him, and she knew that she would just have to wait patiently for all to be revealed to her. 

She slipped out of the common room, since Draco seemed intent on staying, and he’d just said that he didn’t want them interacting until they met up after dinner. Sophie wondered what the heck the plan could possibly be, but she couldn’t of any plausible situation where everything would work out. She’d just have to hope that it would.


	56. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it’s because I’ve got so many stories going, or maybe it’s something, but I’m just really not feeling this one anymore. I may drop it soon. I’m not sure yet though, so we’ll see

Sophie had been waiting impatiently at the base of the Astronomy Tower for nearly half and hour, and she was just about to leave and head back to the dorms, when Draco finally showed up. With him were several adults that Sophie didn’t recognize, but she instinctively felt afraid of them. 

She cleared her throat. “Um hey. What took you so long? And who are your friends?”

Draco motioned for the adults to stay put while he grabbed Sophie by the arm and tugged her a little ways away. “Listen, this plan is going to involve some things that you’re probably not going to like. But you can’t say anything, okay? I’m promising you right now that nothing’s going to happen to you, and you’re going to get your wand, alright?”

Sophie nodded. “Sure. I trust you, Draco. If you say that it’s a good plan and everything’s going to work out, then I believe you.”

“Alright, good. Then stay here until I call for you. Make sure no one else comes up.”

Draco went up into the tower with his friends, and Sophie stayed at the bottom. After a few minutes, she felt a strange shiver run through her entire body, and she had the feeling that something bad had just happened. As she stood there, she heard someone running closer, and she realized that it was Professor Snape. She didn’t think he was part of Draco’s plan, or Draco would’ve told her to let him pass. 

She stood in the center of the doorway. “Stop!”

Snape paused, looking slightly puzzled. “What are you doing here?” Then he shook his head. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. There is something going on right now that is far above you, and you need to let me go by you. It’s a matter of life or death.”

Sophie stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest, and shook her head. “No way. I was told not to let anyone go by, and that includes you. I’m not going to let you go up there.”

Snape rolled his eyes and continued forwards, not even bothering to cast a spell on Sophie, as it was easy enough for him to push right past her. She let out a loud screech and quickly scrambled up the stairs after him, not wanting to let Draco down when they were finally becoming good friends.

She paused for just a moment when she spotted Harry of all people crouched beneath the tower. But she didn’t have the time to stick around and see what he was doing there. She burst into the tower above, panting from the effort. 

Dumbledore didn’t even look over at Sophie’s intrusion, as his eyes were too busy focusing on Snape. “Severus… please.”

Snape was holding his wand out. “I gave my word. I made a vow.”

The hairs on the back of Sophie’s neck stood up as she realized that something very bad was about to happen. And she knew that Draco was somewhere in the room, though she didn’t have the time to even glance around for him, and she knew that she’d promised she’d stay away so that he could deal with whatever it was that he needed to do. But this was different. This was Snape interfering, and about to do something bad. 

As Snape’s mouth started to form the words, Sophie darted forward with a loud scream. She wasn’t Dumbledore’s biggest fan, but she didn’t think that he deserved to die. She wasn’t really sure if anyone did. She screamed as she ran in front of the headmaster, and she could hear Draco shouting something, and there was so much noise coming from every direction. 

The green light that shot out of Snape’s wand seemed to be moving in slow motion as Sophie shoved Dumbledore out of the way. If she was going to die here, then it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. After everything she’d done, after all the people who’d gotten hurt, including Draco and Jessie, Sophie knew that her dying would be the right thing to happen. 

The green light slammed into Sophie, and she couldn’t make out any of the individual shouts that were going on. She expected the pain that suddenly surged through her body, but she was definitely surprised by the part where she wasn’t dead. Except she was falling, and she knew she’d never survive falling all the way to the ground from so high up. So she’d survived the death curse only to die from not being able to keep her balance?

She was falling for what seemed like forever, except she could feel that warmth building up in her stomach. She definitely recognized that feeling of an impending explosion. And somehow it felt different than it had in the past. Maybe even stronger somehow.

Sophie screamed loudly, and she was kind of glad that she was just falling through the air, because it meant that there was no one immediately around who could get hurt in the explosion of magic that was about to come. Then again, if it was stronger than usual, it was still possible for people to get hurt. Which meant that ideally, Sophie would hit the ground before she could explode.

But that apparently wasn’t an option, because she could feel it a moment later. All of the magic flowing out of her body, tired of being trapped inside. It was like trying to keep a tornado locked in a glass bottle, and the whole bottle had just shattered. 

She couldn’t help it, she just kept screaming as more and more energy came out of her. It wasn’t in some gentle flow, it felt like it was tearing her apart as it forced it’s way out, and Sophie didn’t feel like she was falling anymore. She didn’t know what she did feel like. Everything was so crazy, and she’d never expected things to go so bad so fast. 

Just as Sophie silently said her goodbyes to her mother and father, and to Jessie, and Draco, and Hermione, and Luna, and Neville, and everyone else who’d ever actually cared about her, everything went black.

,,,

“-hard to believe. If I hadn’t seen it for myself, I’d say there’s no way that all that power could’ve been inside one little girl.”

“I know. I’ve never seen anything like it before. Will she be okay? You did say that if she exploded like that again then-”

Sophie groaned softly, and both voices immediately stopped. A moment later, she could feel a cool hand pressed against her forehead. She slowly opened her eyes, and found herself staring up at Draco. She reached up to bat his arm away, and then she sat up on her own, leaning back against the headboard of the bed she was in.

That’s when she looked around, and realized that she had absolutely no idea where she was. That could be a bit of a problem. She turned to Draco. “What happened? The last thing I remember is falling out the window.” That’s when she suddenly recognized the other voice as belonging to Snape. He was standing over in the corner of the room. “You! You were going to kill-!”

Draco frowned, and he quickly shushed Sophie. “Don’t worry about that, okay. I told you not to go up there until I called for you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I know. I just thought that when you said you didn’t want anyone else going up, you would’ve meant Snape too. I was just trying to follow him to stop him from messing up your plans.”

Draco let out a soft sigh, and ran one hand through his hair. “Things are going to get so crazy now. After you fell, Snape cursed Dumbledore again, and that time no one got in the way.” He was silent for a moment before adding, “He’s dead now,” like Sophie couldn’t have figured out that part on her own. “Then suddenly the whole tower was shaking, and there was a bright light. Had to close my eyes just to stop myself from going blind. Snape’s the one who grabbed Bellatrix and me and got us out of there before the entire tower collapsed. It’s nothing but rubble now. And there’s sort of a giant crater where there used to be grassy fields on that side of the school.”

Sophie pressed one hand over her mouth. “Oh my god. Was anyone hurt?”

Draco glanced over at Snape, then turned back to Sophie with a shrug. “I don’t know. That was two days ago, and none of us have been back at Hogwarts since then. All I know is that the Daily Prophet hasn’t said anything about it, and neither has any other paper.” His eyes widened. “Oh, and I almost forgot.” He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a distinct looking wand with funny bumps running down the length. “You just have to knock it out of my hand, and it’ll be yours.”

There was a sour feeling in the pit of Sophie’s stomach at the thought of taking the wand of a dead man. She shook her head, and smacked at it, causing it to fall easily to the floor from Draco’s loose grip. “I don’t want it. I can’t believe you are okay with the fact that the headmaster is actually dead. Was that your plan all along? I’m disgusted with you.”

Draco picked the wand up, and put it down on the small table next to the bed. “It’s possibly the only wand that would ever be able to stand up to your amount of power. I know that it might not feel right to you, but this is what had to be done. And I don’t even know how you survived the killing curse. The only other person who’s survived it that I know of is Potter.”

Sophie was about to ask about what had happened to Harry while he was hiding under the stairs, but then she decided that it was better to say nothing. She didn’t want them to go and kill the Gryffindor next, even if she wasn’t a big fan of Harry. Instead, she asked something else that had been on her mind since she’d woken up. “Where are we, anyways, if we’re not at the school?”

“We’re in my house.” It was the first thing Snape had said since Sophie opened her eyes. “You will be safe here until things calm down.”

She frowned. “Why didn’t you just leave me at the school? There’s an infirmary there, isn’t there? And I know that I caused some damage, but I’m sure that plenty of kids have caused damage before, right?”

Draco stretched his arms up over his head. “You were practically dead. Who knows when the nurse would’ve been able to get around to you. There could have been a lot of people hurt.” At Sophie’s horrified look, he quickly shook his head. “Or everyone could be fine! How would I know anyways?” He sighed. “The point is that we thought it would be safer to just take you. Causing that kind of destruction in the tower where they’re going to find Dumbledore’s body could make it look like you were the one who tried to kill him.”

Sophie brought her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them. “I can’t believe this is all really happening. After what happened back home, they should’ve locked me away instead of sending me across the ocean. Just because they don’t have to look at me anymore doesn’t save others from the pain of it.”

Draco carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, and pulled Sophie into a hug. “It isn’t your fault, okay? You were trying to save someone’s life.”

Sophie pulled away from Draco. “What were you doing trying to kill the headmaster anyways? Or actually killing him, I guess. What was the point of that?”

The older boy looked hesitant to say anything, but he must’ve decided that he owed Sophie the truth. “I had to. If I didn’t kill Dumbledore, then you-know-who would kill me and my entire family.”

“But you didn’t kill Dumbledore. Snape did.”

Draco nodded. “I know. But you can’t tell anyone about that. If anyone asks, you have to say that it was me. Otherwise I’ll still get killed along with the rest of my family. I’m not even asking just for me. I can’t stand the thought of my mother and father dying because of my failure.”

Sophie looked over at where Snape was still awkwardly standing in the corner of the room. “And it was that easy for you to just go and kill the man you’ve been working for for years? What is wrong with you?” She took in a deep breath, then slowly let it out. “Thank you for your hospitality. For getting me out before the lynchings could start, and for letting me stay in your house for the past two days. But I should really be going now.” 

She started to move to stand up, and Draco quickly grabbed one of your arms. “Where will you even go? We still don’t know what they know at Hogwarts. And that place isn’t going to be very safe anymore anyways. There’s going to be so many changes. And you’re still healing from everything that happened.”

Snape spoke up again. “The Dark Lord wishes to meet with you. He heard of what you did, and wants to know who could be responsible for so much damage. He requested to meet you as soon as you are able to move about again. So for your sake, perhaps it would be best to take a few more days of bed rest.”

Tears started to leak out of the corners of Sophie’s eyes, and she felt like her entire life was spinning completely out of control, going faster than she could ever hope to go in order to stop that from happening. “I just want things to go back to how they used to be,” she said in a quiet voice. “Before I went nuclear on my town and I was a witch and I was shipped off to Hogwarts. I just want to be a normal kid who can hang out with my best friend whenever I want. I just want to go back to a time before everything was so crazy and everything I did mattered.”

Draco gently put his hand on Sophie’s shoulder. “I know. It would certainly make everything easier if you could just go back. But that’s not how it is so you’re just going to have to learn to adapt. Try to look at the bright side of things if you can.”

Sophie reached up to wipe away some of her tears. She carefully picked up the wand from the bedside table, and she just knew immediately that it felt right in her hand. Like it belonged there. She sniffled. “Could you teach me magic? I know I should’ve attended more classes at school, but I didn’t, and I don’t even know where to begin.”

Snape finally stepped out of the corner. “I’ll teach you what you need to know. I hope you’re a fast learner, since we can only delay the inevitable for a few days at most. But I’ll teach you. Draco must return to his home now that you are awake.”

Sophie felt a bit panicked at that thought. “You’re going to just leave me here alone with that guy? He’s a murderer!”

“So are you.”

Sophie gasped at the sharp pain that statement brought to her chest. “It was an accident though. Every time someone got hurt because of me was an accident, I swear.”

Snape spoke, and it sounded like he was actually trying to be comforting. “We all do things that we don’t mean sometimes. But whether it was an accident or on purpose, you’ve done things you’ll never be able to take back. All you can do now is learn to move forward. Learn how to properly use magic so that you’ll never accidentally hurt anyone again.”

Sophie nodded. “Alright. Alright, I can do that.” She looked at Draco. “I’m still mad at you, but I’m going to miss you.” She looked down at the wand in her hands. “Thanks for this, I guess.” She wasn’t really sure what else to say. There wasn’t really much else that could be said in this situation. It was what it was, and Sophie was just going to have to deal with it.

At least she was finally going to be able to learn some real magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the end of the sixth book just happened kinda suddenly here, without any other sign leading up to it, but I’d like to think that it’s just because Sophie is too ignorant to pay attention to anything important going on around the school. Also I needed to break away from the narrative. Sophie doesn’t fit the current story, so that’s why I need to write my own story. I hope that no one is too upset with this altered ending to hbp haha
> 
>  


	57. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m slowly coming to the realization that I always start my stories off slowish, and then I make things escalate like crazy at some point, and suddenly big things are happening, and even i don’t know what’s going on anymore, and I’m not sure if that makes me a bad writer necessarily, but it is something I’ve noticed. Just felt like pointing that out randomly.

Sophie felt her back stinging from where she’d impacted heavily with the wall, and she let out an annoyed groan. “Ah, what the hell was that for?”

Snape looked at her with the same serious eyes as always. “You need to learn to always be on guard now that you’re living in the real world. Hogwarts is fun while it lasts, but that part of your life is over now.”

Sophie scrambled to her feet. “But I don’t even know any spells to defend myself with! This hardly seems fair. I’m still recovering from being hit with the killing curse that you shot, and you haven’t actually taught me anything useful yet!”

The professor shrugged. “It’s easy to forget that you weren’t there in your first year to at least learn the basics. And for that I apologize. But you are also a powerful witch wielding a powerful wand, and sometimes you may find that just allowing yourself to fall back onto instinct is alright. Also, if you don’t know any defensive spells, then it is especially imperative that you stay on guard constantly.”

Sophie ran a hand through her hair, and let out a loud sigh. “I just want to go home. There was never any war of good versus evil, or whatever, back home. And the accents stopped sounding cool after being here for like, a week. Can’t you just send me home? I don’t want to meet any stupid Dark Lord and I don’t want to get involved in all this shit, so can’t you please just send me home?”

“I’m sorry, but that is simply impossible at this time. And do not fear your meeting with you-know-who. I will not let anything happen to you.”

Sophie bit her lip. “Thanks, but I still don’t really trust you.”

That surprisingly got a quick laugh out of Snape, and it was a strange sound to hear. “That may be one of the smartest things you’ve ever said. But regardless of whether you trust me or not, I will do everything in my power to protect you. I’m not fond of the idea of having children forced to fight in a war that isn’t even theirs to fight, and I’m definitely not fond of the idea of letting innocent children die because of this war.”

Sophie frowned. “But I’m not an innocent child. I’ve killed people. I have blood on my hands.”

Snape shrugged. “It isn’t the past that makes you innocent or guilty. It’s what you intend to do in your future. Do you plan on doing evil things in the future?”

She couldn’t help thinking of when Draco had said that being with Voldemort meant making some of the bad things feel a little less bad. And of course she wanted that. Who wouldn’t? But she knew that she deserved her pain, and she knew that it would be wrong to selfishly give in just to help herself. So she slowly shook her head. “No. I don’t want to do evil things. And I just hope that now that I have this, I’ll be able to control myself better to avoid bad stuff from happening again.” She reached into her pocket to pull out her newly obtained wand. “Even if this is covered in blood.” Sophie looked up at Snape. “You killed Dumbledore to protect Draco, didn’t you?”

“Yes. Though I am unsure why you were not killed from that first curse. Potter survived all those years ago because of the sacrifice his mother made. But the sacrifice didn’t protect his mother, it only protected him, so I don’t understand. If anything, Dumbledore should’ve been impossible to kill after your sacrifice, but he wasn’t.”

Sophie shrugged. “Well, it’s not like I did it out of any love for Dumbledore, the way I’m sure Harry’s mom did it for him. It was just because I knew that it would be wrong to let someone die if there was something I could do to save them. But even if that wasn’t enough to save him, it should’ve still killed me. I mean, what could’ve protected me? I thought for sure that I was going to die there.”

Instead of responding with words the way that normal people did, Snape suddenly cast another spell at Sophie. This time she was slightly more ready, as in she at least had her wand in her hands, and she waved it without even thinking about anything further than that she needed protection. An invisible shield sprang up in front of her just in time to stop the blast of green energy that had been shot at her. 

Snape nodded. “Good work. Maybe you’re not a totally incompetent student after all.”

Sophie rolled her eyes. “Thanks for the high praise.” She tried to walk forward, but was blocked by her own shield. She tried hitting it a few times, and then tried willing it to go away, but it stayed. She sighed, and sank down to the floor. “Well, if this stupid protection bubble never goes away, at least we’ll know that I’m safe in this corner of your house.”

Snape waved his wand while muttering under his breath, and the shield popped like it really was a bubble. “Come on. Lunch break.”

Sophie jumped to her feet. “Hey, since I’m in your house and I witnessed you trying to murder someone, does that mean I can call you by your first name?”

“No. I’m still your professor even now. Especially now that you have so much you need to learn. Now shut up please if you want lunch. The amount that I want to help you to live is in direct proportion to how little you speak.”

Sophie laughed, and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure.” She sat down at the rickety table in the kitchen, and looked around with curious eyes. “No wonder you wanted to be a professor at Hogwarts. This place is a total dump. Have you even read all these books, or are they just for decoration to make you look smarter?” Then she frowned. “Oh, sorry. That was pretty mean. I’m sure you’re really smart.”

Snape ignored her to bustle around in the kitchen for a few minutes while muttering under his breath the whole time. After a kettle whistled, Snape glanced over at where Sophie was sitting quietly at the table. “How do you take you tea?”

She scrunched up her nose. “Oh, I don’t drink tea. My mom said it’s good for you, but it mostly tastes like boiled water with no flavor and a bunch of little floaty bits.” He looked offended. “Sorry, but it’s just not something that we drink all the time in America.”

That gave Snape to give a small nod, looking moderately satisfied. “I see. Well I do have some cocoa around here somewhere, if that’s preferable.”

Sophie nodded. “Yup, that’s fine, thanks.” 

A few minutes after that, Snape put a plate down in front of Sophie that contained a grilled cheese sandwich and some chips, and he also set down a mug of hot chocolate. He sat across from her with a similar meal, only he had tea instead. 

Sophie held the sandwich up to her nose, and sniffed at it suspiciously. “Has this stuff all been lying around since the beginning of the school year?”

The professor rolled his eyes. “Of course not. Since there was no fresh food, I went shopping after bringing you here.”

“Oh, good.” She ate the food very quickly, feeling much hungrier than she’d expected. Though that could’ve been from sleeping for two days straight, which presumably meant that she hadn’t had anything to eat in that time. Like he’d been thinking the same thing, once Sophie’s plate was empty he got up to get her another sandwich and some chips. “Ah, thank you.” When she was done, Snape raised one eyebrow, silently asking if she was still hungry. She was, but she didn’t want to look like a total big, so she just shook her head. “I’m good. Thanks. You’re surprisingly good at cooking.”

Snape shrugged. “It would be rather difficult to be bad at making a grilled cheese sandwich.” Despite what she’d said, Snape got up and got her another one. “Here. I’d rather not listen to you whining about how hungry you are, or have you pass out from pushing yourself too hard.”

Sophie nodded, and ate a bit slower. When she was done, she finally felt full. “So what are you going to teach me first? Other than how to make a shield, because apparently I’ve already got that skill down pretty well.”

Snape stood up, and cast a quick spell to wash the dishes. “First I’ll need to ward the house. Otherwise the ministry will know it the moment you start casting magic. What you did earlier with the shield was clearly accidental magic, despite you having your wand in your hand. And I’m sure that with everything that happened at Hogwarts, they have a lot on their minds. But it would be foolish to risk you being found here simply for using magic while underage. Your wand may not be registered as yours, but they’d still probably find it.” He walked towards the front door of the house. “You may as well watch this. Maybe something will actually stick in that small brain of yours.”

It took about an hour for Snape to be satisfied with all the protection he’d cast, which was all in addition to what he already had up. Then they went back inside, and into the study, which was full of even more books than the bedroom, if that was possible. “Jesus, where do you even get this many books? I didn’t even know that there were this many books in the entire world!”

Snape rolled his eyes. “That idea would come from either ignorance or stupidity. Neither of which I like having in my home. So why don’t you just not worry about how many books I own, and instead focus on how you’re going to effectively be learning magic. We have a very short amount of time to work with, so you’ll need to keep up.”

Sophie gulped. “Ah, I think I’d prefer to have Draco as my teacher. He might know less, but he’s also less scary.” Despite what she said, Sophie did buckle down and do her best to take in everything that Snape was trying to teach her. She knew that her world had once again shifted around her without getting her say-so, and she knew that she’d have to adapt, or die. And Sophie really wasn’t looking forward to dying. 

A couple hours later, Sophie had worked up quite a sweat, and she was pleased to see that Snape was also panting for breath, meaning she’d provided at least a little bit of challenge for him. They broke for dinner, which involved Snape doing more cooking. 

As they ate, Sophie kept peering up at Snape. He caught her gaze several time, and she had to quickly look away. She had so many questions she wanted to ask the man, but she wasn’t even sure how to ask most of them. She still felt so new to the wizarding world, having only been a part of it for a little over two months, and there were thousands of things that she still didn’t know. 

Once they’d eaten and cleaned up everything, they went back to the study, but this time, Snape motioned for Sophie to sit in one of the comfy looking chairs, and he sat opposite her. “Learning magic isn’t just about being able to wave your wand and sling around spells. It also involves learning the history of the magic, and learning the theories. If we had more time, I’d want to teach you more about potions, since that’s one of my strong points, but for now, we’ll stick with the basics.”

Sophie frowned. “Ew. I don’t want to learn boring history stuff. Let’s get back to the spells part. That was fun.”

Snape glowered at the girl. “If you want to learn, you’ll have to accept everything there is to learn. If you can’t handle that, then perhaps I shouldn’t be teaching you anything at all.”

Sophie quickly shook her head. “No, please don’t stop, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just wish that I could skip past all this, and right to the part where I actually know what I’m doing, you know?”

Snape sighed. “I understand. But consider that most children are not truly considered wizards or witches until after they graduate. That’s seven years of learning. And you expect to be able to fit it all in in just a couple of days? That’s impossible. But that doesn’t mean it’s better to just take shortcuts. Do you understand at least that much?”

Sophie nodded, feeling chastised. “Yes. I promise I’ll do my best to learn as much as I can.” 

Snape nodded, and grabbed a book from where it had been resting on the floor next to his chair. “Alright. I’d like to start with some basic philosophical theories from the fourteen hundreds…”

,,,  
When Sophie woke up, it took her a moment to realize that she was back in bed. She was still fully clothed, and a quick glance out the window showed how dark it was. She must’ve fallen asleep during the lesson, and Snape had tucked her in. She hoped that he wouldn’t be too mad about her falling asleep while he was in the middle of teaching.  
Sophie’s throat felt parched, and she quietly got up to head to the kitchen for a glass of water. She wasn’t sure where Snape was sleeping, but she didn’t want to wake him up after already putting him through so much trouble. 

As she passed through the dimly lit house, she couldn’t spot Snape anywhere, but she didn’t think that that was any reason for concern. She walked quietly, her bare feet making no noise against the floor, so as she walked past the study, she was able to easily hear the soft voice coming from within. 

Curious, Sophie crouched down and peered inside, trying to see what could be keeping Snape up so late. He was in the middle of shouting at his fireplace. Sophie vaguely recalled that fireplaces could be used to communicate. “-still injured. There’s nothing I can do to heal her faster.” Sophie couldn’t hear whatever the response was, she could only hear Snape’s next words that came a moment later. “Yes, I swear it. She will be presented to him Friday evening if I have to carry her there myself.”

Sophie quickly pulled away, and hurried back into the bedroom. She didn’t want Snape to think she’d just been spying on him, even though she totally had been. She crawled under the blankets, and turned away from the door, hoping that Snape wasn’t going to come to investigate. She was scared to know the exact day she’d have to meet Voldemort, but she knew that Snape wasn’t going to let anything happen to her. Voldemort had no reason to harm her anyways, but Snape would watch out for her either way. 

A few minutes later, the door opened, and Snape peered in. He didn’t say anything though, just made sure Sophie was still there, and then he left. Once he was gone, she breathed out a huge sigh of relief. If Snape was aware that she’d listened in, he wasn’t going to say anything about it. 

Sophie curled up, and pulled the blankets closer around her. She was frightened of what the future had in store for her, but she knew that there was no choice left but to face it all with her head held high.


	58. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, things are definitely spiraling out of my control in this story faster than I could shake a stick at it (not that I know for sure how fast one could shake a stick at a story). Also, jesus it’s so hard to remember continuity when you’ve got multiple HP fics going at the same time xD

Friday morning, Sophie woke up, and was immediately filled with tension. She didn’t want to meet Voldemort. She didn’t want to go face to face against an insane murderer who was bad enough to have multiple prophecies floating around about how evil he was. He’d ordered Dumbledore to be killed. He’d threatened Draco’s family. And he obviously had Snape bound to him in some weird way. None of it was drawing him out in a good light, and Sophie couldn’t help feeling a little bit scared. 

She crept out towards the kitchen, and saw that Snape was already sitting at the table, sipping tea and browsing through a magical newspaper. Sophie was still amazed to see the figures in the pictures moving around on constant loop. 

Snape set the paper down, and motioned to the empty seat across from him. “Sit. I made breakfast.”

Sophie gulped as she sat down, and she could feel her leg rapidly bouncing up and down as she worried about what was going to happen. When a plate of food was set down in front of her, Sophie suddenly felt sick. “I don’t want to do this!” she suddenly cried out.

The professor stared at her with one eyebrow raised. “I already explained to you why this is all necessary. You’ve shown off great power, and in times like these, it makes you somebody’s friend and somebody’s enemy. There is no one of consequence who can remain a neutral party during a war. And if you’re going to be somebody’s friend, the Dark Lord would prefer you be his.”

Sophie shuddered. “But he’s a horrible person! I know, I know, I’ve done horrible things that I’m going to get sent to hell for, and it’s not like I can ever take them back. I know that! But I don’t make the conscious decision to wake up every morning and plan out how to cause the most possible pain to someone! Please don’t make me go. Tell them that I’m still healing!”

Snape slowly shook his head. “Firstly, that would not be believable since I am known as one of the greatest potions masters of our time. And secondly, they would request I carry you in over my shoulder if necessary. He gets what he wants, and what he wants is to meet you. Just don’t do anything rash, okay?”

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, with Sophie still refusing to touch her food because of the chaotic loops her stomach was rolling in. Then she came up with an idea. “Wait. If I’m so powerful, enough to destroy a huge part of Hogwarts, couldn’t I just take down Vo-”

Snape darted around the table, and slapped one hand over Sophie’s mouth. “Don’t even speak the words,” he hissed. “Look, there simply aren’t any good plans left at this point. With Dumbledore dead, there is no one to lead the side of ‘light’ or ‘good’ or whatever you want to call it. It’s basically a given now that they will not win. So all you can do now is go along with the one who’s bound to win, and hope that you survive long enough to live in the new world that will come up. Just be smart for once.”

Sophie jerked her head back, and would’ve tipped her whole chair over if Snape hadn’t grabbed it. Once his hands were occupied with holding the chair, she leapt to her feet and rushed to the front door. How the hell could she possibly stand by Voldemort? He was one of the most evil guys living at the moment, and she broke out in hives at the thought of even meeting him. 

Sophie yanked the door open and ran outside, not caring about the fact she was wearing no shoes, and had nothing other than the clothes she was wearing, and the wand that was tucked into her pocket. She ran for what felt like forever, but she still never got any further away from the house. Snape must’ve predicted she’d make a break for it, and had made it so she wouldn’t be able to leave. How cruel. 

She sank down to her knees, and stared out in the distance. She could hear the slow rhythm of Snape’s steps as he got closer, knowing that he didn’t have to rush after her. “I’m sorry,” he offered in a vaguely apologetic tone. “But this is the way things have to be. I cannot do anything to help you. Just get through today, and you’ll be fine. Play stupid if you have to; say that you have no idea how the tower got destroyed. Just do what you need to in order to survive.”

Sophie got to her feet, and stared up at Snape. “Is that what you’ve been doing all along? Playing both sides so you’d be alright no matter who wins?”

Snape didn’t answer that. Instead, he held out one hand. “Give me your wand. You cannot bring it with you to see him.”

Not only did Snape want her to go make nice with a mass murderer, but he also wanted her to go in completely defenseless? It wasn’t like she knew a lot of spells, but just having the wand on her made her feel better. “But what if things go bad?”

Snape sighed, and looked like he didn’t want to have to explain the issue. But after Sophie stared at him expectantly for a few moments, he gave in. “I believe that there were two reasons the Dark Lord wanted Dumbledore dead. It meant that the man who was leading and holding together the side of the ‘light’ is gone, and it also means that he can take Dumbledore’s wand. I’m no expert in the craft of wand making, but I do know that you’ve now got a rather powerful tool on your side. If he finds out that it’s yours, he would kill you without hesitation in order to take the wand as his own. Please, I’m trying to keep you alive.”

Sophie clenched her jaw. “Fine. But I’m going to put it back myself so that you won’t know where it is,” she paused for a moment before starting back towards the house, which wasn’t far away at all despite how long she’d been running away from it. “And don’t you dare try to read my mind!”

She stormed back to the home, and glanced over her shoulder to make sure that Snape wasn’t following directly behind her. When she saw that the coast was clear, she wandered around for a few minutes, trying to think of where the best hiding place would be. 

Once she’d made her decision and stashed her wand, she strolled back outside, to where Snape was still standing. Even though she’d only had it for a few days, she already felt naked without it. Hopefully just owning a wand would be enough to stop her from exploding, even if she didn’t have it on her during whatever emotional moment that could potentially come up. 

When Snape saw her, he raised one eyebrow, and stared pointedly down at her feet. Right, she still hadn’t put any shoes on. Sophie chuckled awkwardly, and went back inside. She pulled on her socks and shoes, then went back outside. Snape looked down at her. “Are you ready?”

Sophie quickly shook her head. “Of course not. But since I have to go either way, let’s just get this over with, please.”

Snape nodded. “I don’t know if you’ve ever side along apparated before, but if not, I’m warning you now that you may feel a little bit nauseous.”

A moment later, their surroundings disappeared, and Sophie felt like her stomach was being twisted inside out, and her entire body was being pulled out of her mouth. When the world stopped swirling around, they were on solid ground again, and Sophie pressed her lips together as she focused on not vomiting. It was lucky that she hadn’t eaten anything for breakfast. 

Once she felt less like she was going to be sick, Sophie took the chance to look around, and she tried to figure out where they were now. They were standing in front of a giant set of silver gates, and when Sophie saw movement behind the gates, she could’ve sworn there were peacocks on the other side. 

She peered up at Snape curiously. “Where are we, anyways? I was expecting the evil lair to look a bit more evil.”

“This is the Malfoy Manor. It’s where Draco lives with the rest of his family. It’s also where the Dark Lord is staying for the foreseeable future.”

Sophie frowned. “Why do you keep calling him the ‘Dark Lord’ instead of his name?”

Snape sighed. “There is a taboo on his name. It was only recently enacted, but if you say it aloud, then his followers will immediately know your location, and will apparate there to question you and take you in, and it’s really just a whole lot of bother.”

That seemed like an odd thing to do. If Voldemort wanted people to fear his name, wouldn’t they at least have to be able to speak it? Now he was just going to go down in history as having all kinds of stupid nicknames. Maybe people in the future wouldn’t even be able to remember his name because he hadn’t allowed it to be said often enough. 

She suddenly snorted at a different thought. “How much must his parents have hated him to name him Vo- to give him that name?”

Snape shrugged. “I doubt that it’s anything more than an alias, but even if anybody does know his real name, I doubt they’re talking. It doesn’t make a difference either way. Something as simple as his name would hold no power.” When they noticed someone approaching the gate from the other side, Snape hissed, “Now that’s enough of the questions. You are to stay silent at all times unless asked a question by the Dark Lord himself, and follow my lead.”

The gates swung open, and Sophie looked up at a tired looking man. He had the same platinum blonde hair, pale skin, and gray eyes as Draco. There were also smudges of purple under his eyes, probably from not getting enough sleep. The man nodded towards Snape. “So this is our visitor?”

Snape nodded. “Yes.” He didn’t offer up any other information about Sophie. “Will you take us to the Dark Lord, Lucius?”

Sophie vaguely remembered Draco mentioning his father a few times. Lucius was the name that had been used. So this man was Draco’s father. Sophie hoped her friend wouldn’t look nearly so washed up by the time he was his father’s age. Well, hopefully there wouldn’t be an evil maniac running around when Sophie and Draco were adults. 

The three of them walked towards the huge mansion, and Sophie couldn’t help staring at it with wide eyes. It had to be the biggest house she’d ever seen before in her life. She couldn’t imagine poor Draco being stuck running around in that giant space all by himself as a child. No wonder he was a lonely kid. 

When they stepped inside the grand entrance hall, Sophie saw several menacing looking people walking around in black robes, not caring that they were obviously making a mess of the gorgeous house. She started to reach for her pocket, but she had to stop and remind herself that she didn’t have her wand on her, and she couldn’t grow to rely on it all the time anyways. It seemed like other wizards couldn’t even do magic without their wands, which meant that the moment they were disarmed they would suddenly become very weak. Sophie didn’t want that to happen to her. 

Lucius Malfoy silently walked past the other occupants of the house, until they reached a large set of double doors. He cleared his throat, and spoke to the person standing there. “His guest is here.” A few minutes passed in awkward silence, before the doors were opened, and they walked into a large room with a glass chandelier hanging from the ceiling. It looked like it could’ve been a grand ballroom at some point, but was now just another part of the house that was falling apart.

In the center of the room was one of the most horrific looking people Sophie had ever seen before. She knew that Voldemort was evil, but she hadn’t been expecting him to be missing a nose. She wasn’t sure what the point of that was, or what the point of being all-powerful was if you weren’t going to restore missing bits, but then again, maybe he liked the look. Who was Sophie to judge?

He hissed softly, and a moment later, there was a large snake slithering across the bare room, going right up to Sophie, and wrapping partially around one of her ankles. She forced herself not to lose her balance and fall over even as the snake wound itself tighter around her. 

She knew that she wasn’t supposed to say anything without being spoken too, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t bend over and pet the snake’s head. It was a pretty looking thing, for a snake. 

Snape sounded like he was about to protest, but when the snake didn’t immediately try to bite her, Sophie felt a little more confident. After a moment of being pet, the snake freed her, and slithered back over to Voldemort. He tilted his head, looking curious. 

Before he could say anything, several of the dark robed wizards burst into the room, and Sophie couldn’t help feeling relieved that she’d been saved by the bell. She turned to look over at the people who’d interrupted the meeting. 

One of them ran in front of Voldemort, and bowed his head before quickly speaking. “My lord, we have a problem. It’s Potter-!”


End file.
